Hi barbiegirl,
I think it will have taken a lot to write your post, it's obviously pushing you to the edge. Do speak with someone, you don't have to go through it alone.
Like Paul, I too was diagnosed as an adult (I was 35), however I have felt all of these same feelings. I thought my life as I knew it was over, I would never be able to do anything I had done before so what was the point? I was bloody angry (still am, sometimes, and it's been 4 years now), and no one could help.
I agree with the other posters - the way out of how you are feeling may be to find out everything there is to know about T1, really get to grips with it and take control. You CAN control your diabetes, it doesn't have to control you. I have found now that I can do more or less anything that I want to - it may take a little more planning, but it certainly doesn't stop me. I thought for a long time that I couldn't drink alcohol as it affected my blood sugars too much, then I discovered I could drink as long as I kept dancing - result! :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
It really is for you to try things out to find out how your diabetes affects you - everyone is different. And not to be scared that you're going to do yourself damage by trying things. You do need to be careful of infection though, which is often why they say to be careful with pedicures and piercings.
The other thing I would recommend is the Diabetes UK holiday for young people. I was a volunteer a couple of years ago, and had a whale of a time. It was at Centre Parcs in Penrith (Cumbria) so a beautiful location with loads to do, and the great thing is that all of the young people (and the majority of volunteers) have T1 so it just becomes 'normal'. During the week it's all about trying things out - different activities, stress, alcohol, partying - to see how it affects you and give you the confidence to know you can survive and know how to treat whatever happens - high or low, it's all easily treatable when you know how! Many of the people who were on the holiday loved it so much they were going to come back as volunteers themselves, which is always a good sign...
You can find out more about the holiday here:
http://www.diabetes.org.uk/How_we_help/ ... s-Events-/
There is only one a year for 16-18 year olds (see right at the bottom of the list), so it will be just right for you next year. The info's not yet been updated for next year, but you could bookmark it and pop back or send them a message and ask for them to let you know about it when it comes up.
I now have an insulin pump and am loving it. Took me a while to come to the decision, as I didn't want to have diabetes so certainly didn't want to be reminded of it all the time, but I must say it is the best thing I ever did - much better control and it does away with all those injections! And somehow it reminds me less of having diabetes then having the injections - I use it publicly, just looks like any other gadget, and it's easily removed when you want to - as long as it's not off for too long at a time it's fine. It might be worth speaking with your nurse or doctor about it?
I found this forum great - I could ask anything, and people were really open about things. And you can always PM if there's something you'd rather not ask publicly. Another forum/site I really like is juvenation (although I think they're changing their name soon); they have a new resource for you to start to educate others so you don't get as much pressure from people around you who automatically take on the role of 'diabetes police' (it generally is because they are just as worried as you are - we only get to hear the bad things!). The website is here, although you may need to register/log in to see it all:
http://juvenation.org/resources/educati ... fault.aspx
Anyway, you take care and be reassured that you are absolutely normal - it's them others. Beware the diabetes police, you take control...!!
Jen x
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