I'm in shock - any advice?

[Lucie75]

Following on from my post last week about being fed up with my diabetes etc, I went for my annual check up yesterday and actually managed to see my 'regular' consultant, who's been overseeing my care for the last 15 years.

Now not all consultants can possibly know all their patients really well, but my consultant also saw me through both my pregnancies so we know each other quite well. I walked into his office yesterday and somehow he immediately registered that something wasn't quite right.

Anyway, cut a very long story short, my low feelings that I've had lately all came out, together with lots of other issues that have been hidden away sub-consciously, things that even I didn't know about. I've now been referred to a clinical psychologist in the view that I have diabetes-related depression.

To say I'm shocked is a bit of an understatement. I never imagined in a million years that I could be classed as depressed (not with life in general but just with my diabetes). I thought I felt like everyone else did, that it was completely normal.

I spent an hour with my consultant yesterday talking through a lot of things and spent most of that time in tears. I then saw another lady, who I also know quite well, and she mentioned that actually it's not unusual in diabetics to feel like I do. She said that for people who were diagnosed with type 1 in childhood, you don't have to deal with diabetes at diagnosis because your parents take care of it all (which is true for me). This means that lots of diabetics who had a childhood diagnosis and are now much older (I'm 34 now, diagnosed at 9), have never come to terms with diabetes and she suspects this is where it all stems from. In other words, I'm just starting to accept that diabetes is with me for life which is why I'm feeling so rubbish.

I'm not sure if I'm relieved or not to be honest.

Do you think this is true? Has anyone else been through this and come out the other side. Do psychologists really help? Please let me know because this is completely new territory for me.

Thanks everyone

 

[janabelle]

Hi Lucie
I'm so pleased your getting help, you've had a lot to deal with and these things can build up and spill over, and you end up feeling like your worlds falling apart. Hopefully seeing a Psychologist can help you put things in perspective and feel in control again. That's my experience anyway, everything makes sense after speaking to mine and I've found it really helpful to learn how one can get into negative thought patterns and what can result from that-and how to control it, and deal with life as it comes at you. It's not an instant fix, but it makes me feel less muddled and able to cope better with things, and understand why I feel bad sometimes.
I discovered, when my children were really small, that physical exercise is a great stress reliever and can also keep depression at bay and it really DOES help. I had a baby seat on my bike, and my youngest was on it at 8 months, he looked so tiny with his huge white helmet on, and we cycled everywhere. A jogger buggy is great too, they almost pull you along! I try to fit long walk, or 20 mins on my treadmill into my day as often as I can, and my psychologist says this is the best thing I can do. The treadmill can be really boring so I've positioned the TV near it, and i can keep going through a whole Home & Away episode! I've recently had to give up cycling due to sight loss, which is still gutting me and I had another good long cry about it last night. Most of the time I try my hardest to be positive, and I've taken up running(well, fast walking if I'm honest :lol: ) and started going to a dance class, which is a struggle as I'm not very good at it, but I've bought the shoes so I'm sticking at it.
I still have days when I don't see the point in anything and don't want to get out of bed, but they're not too frequent and usually hormonally related :? .
You're recent experience of falling unconscious must have been very frightening and probably had a huge effect on you, more than you realise and if your diabetes control is still crazy,as you've previously posted, that will not help you physically or mentally. Perhaps you should discuss and change of insulin with your doc, while you wait for a pump.
Depression is a very complicated condition, and often misunderstood. It has many causes and anyone can suffer from it and any time in their life, like any other illness. People saying "pull yourself together" or " there's people worse off than you" will not make a blind bit of difference when you're in the depths of it as you prob know. It's so common for docs to hand out anti-depressants like sweeties, and I'm so pleased your doc has not gone down this route with you. He probably has seen that you're normally a positive person and that speaking to a psychologist is the best course of treatment for you. If you get someone your really click with, that will help too. Very best of luck.
Jus

 

[hanadr]

Lucie
glad to read that your care team are doing a good job. Hope you are feeling more positive soon.
Hana

 

[clearviews]

Lucie
I am so pleased that you posted this important story and wish you well in your recovery. My step-son has had T1 for about 20 years since he was 3 and has been way out of control for some years. We think that he has addiction issues with tobacco and alcohol and often an addict medicates with something to "take away the pain". In his case it well could be depression and to mask his pain he is travelling a very destructive route. Not sure how we can help this unwilling young man to seek help as he denies he has a problem but your diagnosis may well help him to recognise something.
Thanks for sharing
Alison

 

[iHs]

Lucie

Im really sorry that you are having a rough time of it at the moment. Hope that by talking about how you really feel towards being diabetic will be of some help.

Not sure whether or not diabetes will be with you for life :!: . I am fairly hopefull that within the next 5-10 years there will be new advances in treatment. The closed loop pump will come about very soon so that will bring a smile to many. Stem cell therapy will also come about along with CureDM/Aventis finding a potential cure.

I know that you would like an insulin pump so I would use the way you feel now along with your endevour to get better bg results, as a means to getting one. They are not perfect though so you will need to do frequent bg tests with them. Try and stay positve

 

[Mother Bear]

Sorry to hear that you are depressed. You will get the right help now and you will feel the benefit of it. I have been depressed (not diabetic related) on and off for the last 16 years or so this time has lasted over 7 years so far. You could be put on antidepressants which really help you see clearer and feel better about yourself. Talking to a professional is strange at first but if you get the right person it makes all the difference. You will feel better. Just take the help offered. You can still have bad days but an over all improvement. Depression is much less a taboo in the latter years and there is a lot of help and understanding out there now. I wish you the very best.