I'm lost.

sausage91 · Jul 5, 2023

Hi Everyone. My thread is probably a bit piteous and self indulgent but not one for usually moping I thought I would allow myself this one time. I got diagnosed with type 2, 5 years ago. It was pretty bad with Hba1c of 97. I blasted through a year of a total change of lifestyle and reduced Hba1c to 36. I had shed 9 stone gone from a size 22 to 12. Everything was how it was supposed to be. Then the lockdown came - I was forced to sit in front of the computer all day and I lost my way. And I haven't found it again. My parents have become quite dependent on me - I spend most of my time doing things for everyone else and I just cant be bothered with myself. I gave up smoking in October which hasn't helped as I used to dash in and out at break times for a cig. Now I just sit there. When I go out at work I'm surrounded by smokers. The weight is creeping back, the Hba1c is back to 47, probably worse now and I just feel lost. "You need to take time for yourself" is the obvious advice - but it isn't a choice I have. I'm finding it hard to even care that I have diabetes. I don't even know where to start, how to start - or when I'll have a chance to start all over again. What I need is some tough love. Grateful for any you can give.

Bcgirl · Jul 5, 2023

First a huge congratulations to you for quitting smoking! That is an amazing task and you really need to celebrate that.
From your post I can tell you are ready and you know what to do…so…no more excuse, just do it. Honestly if you can quit he highly addictive smoking you are a darn superhero and can do anything!

JoKalsbeek · Jul 5, 2023

sausage91 said:
Hi Everyone. My thread is probably a bit piteous and self indulgent but not one for usually moping I thought I would allow myself this one time. I got diagnosed with type 2, 5 years ago. It was pretty bad with Hba1c of 97. I blasted through a year of a total change of lifestyle and reduced Hba1c to 36. I had shed 9 stone gone from a size 22 to 12. Everything was how it was supposed to be. Then the lockdown came - I was forced to sit in front of the computer all day and I lost my way. And I haven't found it again. My parents have become quite dependent on me - I spend most of my time doing things for everyone else and I just cant be bothered with myself. I gave up smoking in October which hasn't helped as I used to dash in and out at break times for a cig. Now I just sit there. When I go out at work I'm surrounded by smokers. The weight is creeping back, the Hba1c is back to 47, probably worse now and I just feel lost. "You need to take time for yourself" is the obvious advice - but it isn't a choice I have. I'm finding it hard to even care that I have diabetes. I don't even know where to start, how to start - or when I'll have a chance to start all over again. What I need is some tough love. Grateful for any you can give.

@Bcgirl makes a good point. It takes quite the spine to quit smoking, so if you can handle that, you can handle getting back on the wagon.

Dashing in and out for a cigarette could be replaced with a brisk walk around the block, maybe? Away from the smokers, and into activity. The HbA1c isn't entirely hopeless, even if it may be a bit higher now than at the last test. You CAN do this. You've done it before, after all. And yes, circumstances were different, and I know how aiding a parent (or two) can throw a wrench into your self-care... But at some point you'll have to start again. Can't help others if you are grinding yourself down in the process, so... Why not start today? It's as good a time as any. You know you want to, or you wouldn't be posting about it. It's a first step, it counts.

All it takes, is starting.
Hugs,
Jo

becca59 · Jul 5, 2023

@sausage91 well done on the original weight loss and the giving up smoking. You have obviously been a very determined person in the past and am pretty sure you can be again. However, I detect a mild depression here along with high levels of parent induced stress. There will be help from your Gp for this and I feel you should take steps to access it.
At present I am heavily involved with parent problems. The stress levels have been huge and as a type 1 it has involved high levels of injected insulin to try and keep my levels down. Your levels will also be going up due to stress. Cut yourself some slack and get help.

Outlier · Jul 5, 2023

I dunno about tough love, but what IMO you would benefit from is a support team who knows where it's at and have walked the walk. We are it. Welcome.

sausage91 · Jul 5, 2023

Bcgirl said:
First a huge congratulations to you for quitting smoking! That is an amazing task and you really need to celebrate that.
From your post I can tell you are ready and you know what to do…so…no more excuse, just do it. Honestly if you can quit he highly addictive smoking you are a darn superhero and can do anything!

You're right - It's time. Thank you. Today I am going to quit moping.

sausage91 · Jul 5, 2023

becca59 said:
@sausage91 well done on the original weight loss and the giving up smoking. You have obviously been a very determined person in the past and am pretty sure you can be again. However, I detect a mild depression here along with high levels of parent induced stress. There will be help from your Gp for this and I feel you should take steps to access it.
At present I am heavily involved with parent problems. The stress levels have been huge and as a type 1 it has involved high levels of injected insulin to try and keep my levels down. Your levels will also be going up due to stress. Cut yourself some slack and get help.

I think you're right - there's some kind of block in my mind that is stopping me from being me. It's time to face it.

sausage91 · Jul 5, 2023

Outlier said:
I dunno about tough love, but what IMO you would benefit from is a support team who knows where it's at and have walked the walk. We are it. Welcome.

Thank you Outlier

sausage91 · Jul 5, 2023

JoKalsbeek said:
@Bcgirl makes a good point. It takes quite the spine to quit smoking, so if you can handle that, you can handle getting back on the wagon.

Dashing in and out for a cigarette could be replaced with a brisk walk around the block, maybe? Away from the smokers, and into activity. The HbA1c isn't entirely hopeless, even if it may be a bit higher now than at the last test. You CAN do this. You've done it before, after all. And yes, circumstances were different, and I know how aiding a parent (or two) can throw a wrench into your self-care... But at some point you'll have to start again. Can't help others if you are grinding yourself down in the process, so... Why not start today? It's as good a time as any. You know you want to, or you wouldn't be posting about it. It's a first step, it counts.

All it takes, is starting.
Hugs,
Jo

Thanks for reply. Yes - I think I'll start today because the replies here make me think I can. Time for a Yes I can attitude.

Lupf · Jul 5, 2023

@sausage91 well done on reducing your HbA1c, losing all that weight and quitting smoking. This is a triple crown.
You say that you miss the smoking breaks. Consider having non-smoking breaks, i.e. by joining you co-workers for smoke breaks, but without lighting up. I do the same now, even if I never smoked, but these breaks are good for networking.

coby · Jul 6, 2023

sausage91 said:
Thanks for reply. Yes - I think I'll start today because the replies here make me think I can. Time for a Yes I can attitude.

I can fully understand this blip you are going through @sausage91 and that's all it is. Last November I went for what I thought was simple eye procedure and ended up having major eye surgery, with only 10% sight for the following 7 months, so totally understand your low mood and loss of interest in caring for your diabetes. I had more surgery (but laser this time) just three weeks ago and now have a good 50% vision. This boosted my esteem which in turn put me back on track. We all have blips but we mostly overcome them. I wish you well x

Slayer Mum · Jul 8, 2023

Wow , well done on tackling this first time round and you are nowhere near where you started so you dont have so far to go. I do find that kicking a habit or getting into new habits for a second time is so difficult so I hear you.
And looking after your folks must be very stressful and exhausting. Can anyone help with that? Some sort of home help or cleaner to take some of the work off your shoulders. Stress is one of the worst things.
Chromium picilonate supplement may help for cravings and to balance blood sugar and make it easier to get started again. You need to try and manage your stress as well and calcium/ magnesium/ zinc and a B vitamin complex would be good for that. all depends on what you can afford to do obviously but a nutritionist would be able to help.
If you can batch cook and freeze meals for your parents and also yourself and do online food shopping that might free up some time for relaxation and doing things for you. And you wouldn’t have the wrong foods in the house to graze on.

Also you may benefit from some counselling. I dont know if your work would provide some or if any diabetes groups do it.

Remember, you did it once and you can do it again and don’t forget how good it feels physically and psychologically to lose weight and see your numbers improve.
You can do it…..start now.

good luck

P.S I have HBa1c of 98 and a belly like I’m 20 months pregnant so I also have it all to do. I know its going to be hard.

I'm lost.

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