in the closet

Hi Red.

We are all Diabetics on here. That's the label we all carry. So if you are gay, straight whatever everybody is welcome. We have no compartments (apart fron low or non low carbers ) so just join in Red. There isn't a divide here. We concentrate on Diabetes and Diabetics.

Ken.

We find it funny that being a lesbian is generally more accepted than being gay... I mean, what's up with that?

Anyway, there are no labels on this website (I hope) so there'll be no stereotypes (again, I hope).

And yes, I too am a closet diabetic although my brother is not. I'm so good at being a closet diabetic that my girlfriend for 3 years still doesn't know.

Hi all,
I am diabetic and i dont know if I am in or out of closet!!

Hi,
I ws diagnosed as type1 in December2008 and definitely stayed in the (diabetic ) closet for a few months afterwards. I finally leapt out of it but quite often want to jump back in. Maybe I think I can escape to narnia or my pre-diabetic eutopia or somewhere!
Seriously though, most people have been very understanding about my condition. The only person who treated me like a leper was myself! I wouldn't exactly say I'm proud and delighted to be diabetic but it's certainly nothing to be ashamed of and there are many people in worse situations.


Tara

Hi Red
being diabetic matters to those around you, because they might need to help you if something happens.
Being Gay is no-one's business unless you find each other attractive.
thus it wouldn't matter to me, because I'm a 38 years married Grandmother.
It depends on circumstances, which is the important information.

Yup, being gay is your business. I'm pretty open minded about everybody, you can be gay, transsexual or transvestite but you're not allowed to be camp :evil: .

(The difference between being gay and being camp is the difference between Stephen Fry and Graham Norton... One is a cool TV presenter and author, the other is an idiot)...

I have a gay friend who also doesn't like campness, in his words:

It promotes the stereotype that all gay men wear mesh vests and leather hot pants and go down to the local gay bar and dance to The Pet Shop Boys...

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Is been gay and out any one's business?
It is peoples business and people will let you know either way. We can look at it as a problem or a life saver!
We all have parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, in laws/out laws, friends, neighbours I could go on and on....
We are all connected in some way or other! People are generally nosy and want to know more and more and the human being is made up that way due to societal and environmental circumstances.
And again we are all connected through this website i.e gay forums, usergroups etc..
So I question the fact that we can hide, or not be out of the closet, when clearly we are automatically placed in these circumstances due to again society/environment.

I wait your replies!!
Cheers
Cyril

I'm a diabetic and a fan of Julian Clary. He's about the most beautiful man I've ever seen. Gay or otherwise.

I'd second that Hanadr!!!!!

Chrissie

Handyníall said:

Yup, being gay is your business. I'm pretty open minded about everybody, you can be gay, transsexual or transvestite but you're not allowed to be camp :evil: .

(The difference between being gay and being camp is the difference between Stephen Fry and Graham Norton... One is a cool TV presenter and author, the other is an idiot)...

I have a gay friend who also doesn't like campness, in his words:

It promotes the stereotype that all gay men wear mesh vests and leather hot pants and go down to the local gay bar and dance to The Pet Shop Boys...

Click to expand...

Click to expand...

And what, exactly, is wrong with campness?

Just because you have a friend who also believes that does not make it any less offensive.

I'm really pleased to see so many people saying that sexual orientation really isn't an issue :mrgreen: We have come a long way since Stonewall 40 years ago.

However, if you are not lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered you probably won't understand coming out from the perspective of someone who is. You may think that sexual orientation really isn't anyone else's business, but if you are heterosexual this is because you don't have to explain because we live in a heterosexual world, where the assumed "norm" is straight.

Now, there is a world of difference between being bullied and victimised - and killed in some cases, my heart goes out to the kids who survived the shootings in Tel Aviv at the weekend, and the families and friends of those who were killed - and feeling a bit oppressed because of how you fear others will react to your sexual orientation when you tell them. They may say it doesn't matter to them, but it matters to you. And actually, if they thought about it a bit more they would realise it probably did matter to them too :|

Coming out is bl**dy hard work, straight people have no idea how hard because they see reflections of themselves everywhere they look. Some people get a really hard time over coming out, risking rejection of family and friends, even now in the 21st century :cry: You have no idea what will happen until you do it.

I have never been queerbashed, but I have friends who have, I have had names shouted at me in the street and I have stayed in a group because I feared for my safety if I was alone. I have been victimised and bullied and treated less favourably because I am an out lesbian at work (I have also had some amazing support). I have wasted time trying to reject pointless advice on contraception :roll: I have been unable to get appropriate treatment and support for myself and a member of my extended family because the person trying to advise me can't get their head around what I'm telling them. And because they can't get their head around it, they can't write down anything useful for the next person we see, so we have to go through it all again :? :shock: :cry: However, this is only a very small part of my life which certainly isn't sad or oppressed

Every time we meet someone new we have to decide when, exactly, we will come out, because to go along with the assumption of heterosexuality is ultimately dishonest. Heterosexual people don't have to do this. And you can bet that if you don't come out, that the person who protested their openmindedness in relation to your sexual orientation might well say that they were hurt that you hadn't come out to them. Can't win sometimes.

I came out when I was 26, over 20 years ago. It is easier now than it was then, we now have the protection of the law, but that doesn't always make it easier in practice :? I'm bored with coming out now, I have been doing it for over 20 years :| But every time I meet someone new I have to decide if and when I will come out and how I will do it. Obviously, I don't feel the need to say "I'm a lesbaian and I'd like to pay for the fuel on pump 6". The fact that I am a lesbian isn't usually the first thing that most people find out about me, but most people will find out if they have more than fleeting contact with me.

Every time I have a conversation about partners with someone I don't know, the assumption is that the partner I don't have is male :| And it gets to a point where it seems dishonest not to have come out :? and it becomes more difficult the longer you leave it :roll: Because every time you don't correct that assumption you confirm it :| :roll:

We seem to be able to do smut and inuendo, but often get terribly embarassed when we talk about anything really personal to do with sex. But even sexual orientation isn't necessarily about sex - I know being heterosexual has nothing to do with sex most of the time. I think Stephen Fry said it best when he came out as both celibate and a gay man several years ago, by assuring people that he was celibate, but the gender of the person he wasn't sleeping with was male :lol: :lol: :lol:

So, if someone's sexual orientation isn't an issue for you, you might still need to make sure that you give that person (who you are trying to reassure) a chance to say their part early on in your frienship/relationship

I do have a problem with campness. Similarly I have a problem with women who talk with upward inflections at the end of every sentence. It's just a personal thing, I'm not going to start throwing punches at every camp person I see, I just think that it is annoying.

I'm not going to go as far as to say that all camp people should be cut down with rusty chainsaws, just maybe they should stop being so 'in your face' about it.

Also, I wouldn't say that me hating campness is offensive. Since you can change it. You can't change sexual orientation, and I respect people that have gone through coming out. My friend got bashed something rotton. He was dropped from the hurling team in school because the captain was a homophobe, he got beaten up in local park by some yobs and it was only when a few of us stepped in that they stopped.

Anyway, yeah, campness in my opinion is fine until a point. I appreciate the camp humour of Carry On films. I even find the campness of some television personalities quite amusing and engaging (Paul O'Grady would be an example). But I find in your face campness quite intrusive. I don't shove my hetrosexuality in people's faces.

Hi
i am out of the closet where diabeties is concerned! But i have a fiance i am straight!
My best friend growing up was steve! He was the best friend i ever had we went through alot together!
We laughed and joked! I asked him one day are you gay?
He said yes how do you know?
I answered just a feeling!
ON the 22nd august he and his partner are having a commintment cermony! I will be their maid of honour!
I can't believe that i am 34 he is 35 time passes so fast! Can you believe we have been very close friends for 26 years we met when i was 8 and he was 9!
Wow time passes!
I am so proud of him! He is such a good person!
Just wanted to share! I would never of got through my teenage years without him! He has held me up through some bad times! Always there with a shoulder to cry on after grandparents died!
He is a real good person! Ah the time has passed so quick!
To me it does not matter how someone speaks! It is if they show you warmth and care what does it matter who they love! I don't give people labels as that is unfair! As far as i am concerned steve and his partner paul are my best friends and i would not be without them!
steve is my best friend! His partner is what you might call camp! But he So lovable! I am proud of my friend! We have been through so much together!
Sandy

Handyníall said:

I do have a problem with campness. Similarly I have a problem with women who talk with upward inflections at the end of every sentence. It's just a personal thing, I'm not going to start throwing punches at every camp person I see, I just think that it is annoying.

I'm not going to go as far as to say that all camp people should be cut down with rusty chainsaws, just maybe they should stop being so 'in your face' about it.

Also, I wouldn't say that me hating campness is offensive. Since you can change it. You can't change sexual orientation, and I respect people that have gone through coming out. My friend got bashed something rotton. He was dropped from the hurling team in school because the captain was a homophobe, he got beaten up in local park by some yobs and it was only when a few of us stepped in that they stopped.

Anyway, yeah, campness in my opinion is fine until a point. I appreciate the camp humour of Carry On films. I even find the campness of some television personalities quite amusing and engaging (Paul O'Grady would be an example). But I find in your face campness quite intrusive. I don't shove my hetrosexuality in people's faces.

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This is offensive homphobic claptrap, which I will not dignify with a couter argument. The most charitable thing I can find to say is that maybe it is the beer talking. You are entitled to your views, you are not entitled to cause such offense by publicising them. Lets hope that if the 2 of you do sober up long enough to qualify as doctors, you will have learned what a rhetorical question is and the value of difference.

If you can only justify watching entertainers like Paul O'Grady by criticising their "intrusive" campness I would suggest
1) you get your channel switching button on your remote control fixed, or
2) your heterosexuality may not be as secure as you'd like us to believe.

Your viewpoint is naive at best, and utter b*ll*cks when I stop being tackful. How is any camp gay man reading this going to feel? Or anyone who might be a bit different or a bit eccentric come to that, in case they may offend someone simply by being themselves? This just perpetuates that offensive old myth that how someone looks is more important than anything else they have to offer.

Personally, having 2 of you post under the same profile is confusing. I have no idea which of you posted this. Membership of this forum is free, I'd say you need a profile each.

I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but you're confusing extreme campness with homosexuality. I'm assuming that since your of an older generation, you probably don't go for many nights on the tiles. If you did, you would understand just how extreme campness can be.

Example, New Year's Eve me and the rugby team went out to celebrate. Now, a lot of them are homophobes and I do not condone the actions of one in particular. But we were whistled at as we walked past a local gay bar. One of the players took a lot of offense to it, and hit the person who whistled at him. I don't condone gay-bashing (it's just plain wrong), but I feel that that level of (now I think about, campness is the wrong word...) but I can sort of understand my teammates actions. He was put in an awkward place because somebody else was intrusive with their views. Same way that I wouldn't whistle at a woman because it would be derogatory.

Also, I'd consider myself pretty open-minded about society. But the problem is that some public institutions are too open-minded. The BBC apparently has a far higher percentage of ethnic minorities and gays/lesbians. So we are inundated with the view that what we see on TV is a cross-section of society. When it is not.

Also, I am brash and abrasive, but I curb that in public. I'm not saying being camp is a bad thing, but when you exceptionally camp it can cause uncomfort. Just like being overly angry, overly eccentric or overly friendly.

My views aren't lodged back in the 50s when people were supposed to fit into a neat little stereotype. I just feel that the extremes of personalities can cause offense. But people, and corporations like the BBC steptoe round these issues without ever challenging them. Gay rights is a good thing. Adopting children should definitelybe allowed. Getting 'married' (it's not technically marriage, but it'll do for the real thing) should definitely be allowed, but I'm of the opinion at the pendulum has swung too far in favour of minorities in some respects. Since it's far easier to be taken to court for not employing somebody because their a minority than it is to be taken to court for not employing somebody in the majority.

Also, Eoin isn't involved in this argument. He quite likes camp people, they're better 'wingmen' for picking up chicks apparently.

OK. Let's bring this to a close. We do not need any more discussion from either party.

It is counterproductive and not needed on the forum. Personal opinions should remain just that, not displayed on the forum where members find some comments offensive.

Ken.