Is it normal to be feeling this way?

[Jibba Jabba]

Hi. I have been away from the forum for a little while, trying to take control and acceptance of being diabetic.

I was diagosed as type 2 in March 2010. Since then I have lost over 4 1/2 stone in weight. My control is pretty good, low carb diet only. HbA1c of 5.9 at the beginning of the month, and, although it has climbed a little, I think that's due to me being a little less strict on myself i.e. the occassional square of 85% chocolate. It would drive me doolally otherwise :crazy:

All looking good but......I have started to feel ashamed of being diabetic and I don't know where this has come from. I'm apologetic too. For example if I have to go on a course for work I can hear myself saying "I'm sorry, I'm diabetic so I may have to leave the room to test my sugars"

We went away to Bruges for the weekend and had a really lovely time but I felt that I was being scruitenised by my friends everytime I ordered something to eat even though it was all good stuff.

It's making me feel very low, to the point that I'm short tempered and miserable. I feel that it's taking over my life and I always said that wouldn't happen. I have fantastic support from my partner, but I'm letting him down feeling like this. All my strength and resolve seems to be going out of the window :cry:

Sorry for such a rambling post but what I wanted to ask was - is it normal to feel like this?

If you got this far with my ramblings then thank you for sticking with it lol

Julie
x

 

[sue999]

hi julie, i havent got any advice for you, as i have been feeling exactly the same i was diagnosed in nov 2009 type 2. i know exactly how you feel. take care, sue x

 

[catherinecherub]

Hi jj,
You ask is it normal to be feeling the way you do. It is impossible to define normal as we all have opinions on what is normal.
Some people accept diabetes very early on and some don't. It is all about our emotions.
Have a read through this article, all 3 parts, and it may help you. I find that I need to revisit it from time to time and there is some good advice there for when you are feeling down about the whole diabetes issues.
http://www.diabetesexplained.com/diabet ... ssues.html

 

[Grazer]

I think you have to eccept that this is a normal reaction to being "different" to other people. Anyone feels awkward if they believe that they stand out from the crowd. A lot of people with red hair feel embarrassed by that, and we all know the standard jokes about "gingers" amputees feel embarrassed because they are "different". So you first need to accept that your feelings are normal, then you need to just face them. If you show that you are embarrassed, people will feel embarrassed for you and it just gets worse. Rather than asking to be excused and leave the room to test your bloods, why not do it in front of them? They will probably find it interesting. I find people asking me if they can have a go! So be open and involve people, and you may find it gets easier.
Good luck!

 

[Glados]

I lost over 4 stone years ago (before there was any hint of a diabetes diagnosis) and I must say I got the vibe that people were watching what I ate afterwards. I think that's because they WERE looking. Not intently but just idle curiosity as to what the ex fat person eats now (to look so good!). So it may not even be to do with diabetes! And even if it is, I think they're probably just being interested/concerned. Ignore them.

Being apologetic about everything is a good old British tradition. I apologised to a desk clerk in an American hotel once, because my toilet wouldn't flush. I'd just arrived and said "I'm really sorry but my toilet doesn't flush.". My American friend went mental and complained properly to the guy, then told me off for my "British" approach. :lol: But I digress...

The thing is, you sound like a nice, normal, sensitive and (more importantly) proactive person. You've addressed your diabetes in a really amazing way. You've lost weight, you watch your levels AND you still cope with work and related courses. Clearly your focus has now shifted onto the reactions of your partner, friends and work colleagues and you want to deal with those too... But it isn't your job to. Take the pressure off yourself and leave their thoughts to them, I'm pretty sure most people just want you to be OK in an abstract and maybe "Thank goodness it isn't me" way. Your partner loves you and sounds wonderful - all he wants is for you to love him back. He's an adult, so he'd expect you to be a bit down sometimes.

I think you're awesome.

 

[xyzzy]

I think you're awesome.

Yep seems to sum you up JJ

Like Glados says they're probably curious or even jealous of what you've achieved.

Take care and relax, you've done the hard bit. :clap:

 

[Jibba Jabba]

Hi jj,
You ask is it normal to be feeling the way you do. It is impossible to define normal as we all have opinions on what is normal.
Some people accept diabetes very early on and some don't. It is all about our emotions.
Have a read through this article, all 3 parts, and it may help you. I find that I need to revisit it from time to time and there is some good advice there for when you are feeling down about the whole diabetes issues.
http://www.diabetesexplained.com/diabet ... ssues.html

Catherine, thank you so much for pointing me in the direction of that article. It sums me up completely. I have printed it off to show my partner so that he can get some idea of how I'm feeling without sounding sorry for myself. Thank you x

I lost over 4 stone years ago (before there was any hint of a diabetes diagnosis) and I must say I got the vibe that people were watching what I ate afterwards. I think that's because they WERE looking. Not intently but just idle curiosity as to what the ex fat person eats now (to look so good!). So it may not even be to do with diabetes! And even if it is, I think they're probably just being interested/concerned. Ignore them.

Being apologetic about everything is a good old British tradition. I apologised to a desk clerk in an American hotel once, because my toilet wouldn't flush. I'd just arrived and said "I'm really sorry but my toilet doesn't flush.". My American friend went mental and complained properly to the guy, then told me off for my "British" approach. :lol: But I digress...

The thing is, you sound like a nice, normal, sensitive and (more importantly) proactive person. You've addressed your diabetes in a really amazing way. You've lost weight, you watch your levels AND you still cope with work and related courses. Clearly your focus has now shifted onto the reactions of your partner, friends and work colleagues and you want to deal with those too... But it isn't your job to. Take the pressure off yourself and leave their thoughts to them, I'm pretty sure most people just want you to be OK in an abstract and maybe "Thank goodness it isn't me" way. Your partner loves you and sounds wonderful - all he wants is for you to love him back. He's an adult, so he'd expect you to be a bit down sometimes.

I think you're awesome.

Glados, you are very kind and I think you're right, my focus has shifted. The friends we went away with over the weekend were expressing their concerns to my partner when I popped to the loo. He wouldn't tell me what they said but told me they were making sure that I was ok, which was lovely of them and totally opposite to what I was expecting lol.

I think you're awesome.

Yep seems to sum you up JJ

Like Glados says they're probably curious or even jealous of what you've achieved.

Take care and relax, you've done the hard bit. :clap:

Thank you too Xyzzy - I know it's always going to be there and maybe I should start relaxing a bit like you say. The funny thing is, one of my friends we went away with could possibly be diabetic (he has to go back to the doctors soon) so I expect it was curiosity more than anything. It's amazing though how a few comments from you wonderful people on here can give a new and positive perspective. xx


I have been in tears at my desk reading your kind comments.
Thank you all so much xxx

 

[mrawfell]

Everybody has up and down days. Firstly we don't have to apolgise for being diabetic. It's not a self inflicted disease, just one of those things. Would you apologise for having no hair if you were being treated for cancer. Explain fine but apologise what for ? If you broke your arm in an accident fine everybody would see and understand you can't eat with two hands. Would you aplogise for not being able to eat with both hands ? Of course not. The only difference is you don't carry a visible sign. So relax don't apologise you have a health problem, that's it.

 

[shop]

Hi Julie,

Well done for making such a positive effort and result. I totaly get how you feel. I have struggled for the 6 years of having diabetes feeling embarressed, not wanting to draw attention to myself and just wanting to blend in ( I was diagnosed T1 6 yrs ago when I was 36 yrs old ) Unfortunately this lead me to mismanage and ignore my diabetes. You on the other hand have not let it affect you and I hope you continue to go from strenght to strenght.

I am turning a corner by carb counting at the moment and although It has been up and down I am still trying and am determined to crack it!

I have even had negetive comments from family members and friends re the carb counting ( I have lost alot of weight and have found it difficult to get the right dose of insulin for my new size )

I think they think I have an eating disorder!!! I am simply trying to get control of my sugars! I have a healthy BMI and am the best weight for my size.

We are only human. Hold your head up high...........( I know I should listen to my own advice )

Lucy.xxx