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Is it too late? I am losing hope (triggers)
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<blockquote data-quote="kitedoc" data-source="post: 1985686" data-attributes="member: 468714"><p>Hi [USER=122436]@bumblebee95[/USER], Aiming for perfection and trying to do everything absolutely right is a wonderful aspiration. I have tried it many times. But it is like coffee, <em>the smell of it always tastes better than the taste</em>. Although occasionally both are pretty good. But in doing this perfection thing I finally worked out that I was setting myself up for disappointment. It was like setting the high jump bar, or long jump length too high or long.</p><p>I came around to the idea of the Goldilocks zone. Yes, I borrowed it from the idea that when looking for a planet like Earth the astronomers searched for conditions close to what we have here, temperature wise, type of sun etc. The zone was not a thin line in space. It might be like a 3d ring thousands of kms wide and thousands deep. It is 'just right', as the story goes.</p><p>What i reckoned was that if i could achieve results for whatever the objective was, e.g. baking a cake, making a kite, composing a piece of writing that there was a point at which I had worked it as much as I could and would then accept that it was in that zone. If I over-worked it it moved out of zone, like a clay pot in a pottery weheel, loking good, even betrr and just a liile bit more and blah! pot twists and collapses, one tweak too much. As I got better at whatever the challenge was (but I do not include my fashion sense in this)! the zone was more easily reached and bettered. (I reckoned there was two outer and one inner region.)</p><p>It was not a case of being sloppy and just accepting something was 'good enough'.. It was a case of being kinder to myself, not beating myself up for not achieving that extra x %, being prepared to love myself (fashion sense and all)!! for who I was, without letting go of aspirations and dreams. Does that sound possible for you [USER=122436]@bumblebee95[/USER] ?</p><p>At 13, before I was diagnosed with T1D, I dreamed of becoming an astronaut. T1D put that aspiration beyond Pluto for me.</p><p>But it lead to me having to re-evaluate me - who I was, what could I do ? in those days, flying planes, driving buses, diving in submarines (yellow or not)! etc were not possible, I would not pass the medical. I also knew that I needed to have work where I was not stuck at a chair all the time, behind a wheel ect all day, I had to move, obtain some exercise but not to the level of hard physical labour with its attendant risks. Something that exercised body and mind.</p><p>I chose and was lucky enough to get in to do Medicine. The GP that had diagnosed me early with T1D was a great example to follow as was the first diabetes specialist who looked after me as well.</p><p>Sometimes we end up doing what we like second best. I had thought of being a ranger in a National Park. Lots of walking, peaceful, looking at and after nature. But in the end I needed more mental stimulation.</p><p>Early on dreams have some reality and some unreality. That changes as you live and we have to readjust those dreams. </p><p>Whatever your dreams are keep them, work them, change them as needs be. It is not too late, [USER=122436]@bumblebee95[/USER]!!</p><p>None of us is perfect. We know that no one cake is likely to rise in a perfect circle and with an even top. But if every cake did that we might lose interest in them. How would we nickname them even? What if every cloud in the sky was a perfect sphere? We might be amazed for the first week or so and thereafter meh ! there go more cloudballs !! It is the differences between each of us in looks, behaviour, speech etc which make life and each of us interesting. Now as a guy do I really need plastic surgery for those droopy eyelids? Or are the 'hooded' eyelids better?? Which is in the Goldilocks zone ?? Um, maybe that is a fashion statement. Next !!! Best Wishes [USER=122436]@bumblebee95[/USER]. Please keep posting whilst I find my bright orange jumper!! The purple one belongs to [USER=468055]@Mel dCP[/USER] !!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="kitedoc, post: 1985686, member: 468714"] Hi [USER=122436]@bumblebee95[/USER], Aiming for perfection and trying to do everything absolutely right is a wonderful aspiration. I have tried it many times. But it is like coffee, [I]the smell of it always tastes better than the taste[/I]. Although occasionally both are pretty good. But in doing this perfection thing I finally worked out that I was setting myself up for disappointment. It was like setting the high jump bar, or long jump length too high or long. I came around to the idea of the Goldilocks zone. Yes, I borrowed it from the idea that when looking for a planet like Earth the astronomers searched for conditions close to what we have here, temperature wise, type of sun etc. The zone was not a thin line in space. It might be like a 3d ring thousands of kms wide and thousands deep. It is 'just right', as the story goes. What i reckoned was that if i could achieve results for whatever the objective was, e.g. baking a cake, making a kite, composing a piece of writing that there was a point at which I had worked it as much as I could and would then accept that it was in that zone. If I over-worked it it moved out of zone, like a clay pot in a pottery weheel, loking good, even betrr and just a liile bit more and blah! pot twists and collapses, one tweak too much. As I got better at whatever the challenge was (but I do not include my fashion sense in this)! the zone was more easily reached and bettered. (I reckoned there was two outer and one inner region.) It was not a case of being sloppy and just accepting something was 'good enough'.. It was a case of being kinder to myself, not beating myself up for not achieving that extra x %, being prepared to love myself (fashion sense and all)!! for who I was, without letting go of aspirations and dreams. Does that sound possible for you [USER=122436]@bumblebee95[/USER] ? At 13, before I was diagnosed with T1D, I dreamed of becoming an astronaut. T1D put that aspiration beyond Pluto for me. But it lead to me having to re-evaluate me - who I was, what could I do ? in those days, flying planes, driving buses, diving in submarines (yellow or not)! etc were not possible, I would not pass the medical. I also knew that I needed to have work where I was not stuck at a chair all the time, behind a wheel ect all day, I had to move, obtain some exercise but not to the level of hard physical labour with its attendant risks. Something that exercised body and mind. I chose and was lucky enough to get in to do Medicine. The GP that had diagnosed me early with T1D was a great example to follow as was the first diabetes specialist who looked after me as well. Sometimes we end up doing what we like second best. I had thought of being a ranger in a National Park. Lots of walking, peaceful, looking at and after nature. But in the end I needed more mental stimulation. Early on dreams have some reality and some unreality. That changes as you live and we have to readjust those dreams. Whatever your dreams are keep them, work them, change them as needs be. It is not too late, [USER=122436]@bumblebee95[/USER]!! None of us is perfect. We know that no one cake is likely to rise in a perfect circle and with an even top. But if every cake did that we might lose interest in them. How would we nickname them even? What if every cloud in the sky was a perfect sphere? We might be amazed for the first week or so and thereafter meh ! there go more cloudballs !! It is the differences between each of us in looks, behaviour, speech etc which make life and each of us interesting. Now as a guy do I really need plastic surgery for those droopy eyelids? Or are the 'hooded' eyelids better?? Which is in the Goldilocks zone ?? Um, maybe that is a fashion statement. Next !!! Best Wishes [USER=122436]@bumblebee95[/USER]. Please keep posting whilst I find my bright orange jumper!! The purple one belongs to [USER=468055]@Mel dCP[/USER] !! [/QUOTE]
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