adrian207
Well-Known Member
I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics need a drink, but I already have one.
this dyslexic guy walks into a bra..............
Homeless Man
A man was walking through a rather seedy section of town,
when a bum walked up to him and asked the man for two dollars.
The man asked, "Will you buy booze?" The bum replied, "No."
Then the man asked, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum said, "No."
Then the man asked the bum, "Will you come home with me so my wife
can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"
A Shot of Whiskey
A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey then looks into his pocket.
He does this over and over again. Finally, the bartender asks why he orders a shot
of whiskey and afterwards look into his pocket. The man responded,
"I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then i'll go home.
Wino
The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.
A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, sir. You're obviously drunk" The wasted wino asked,
"Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple."
this dyslexic guy walks into a bra..............
Homeless Man
A man was walking through a rather seedy section of town,
when a bum walked up to him and asked the man for two dollars.
The man asked, "Will you buy booze?" The bum replied, "No."
Then the man asked, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum said, "No."
Then the man asked the bum, "Will you come home with me so my wife
can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"
A Shot of Whiskey
A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey then looks into his pocket.
He does this over and over again. Finally, the bartender asks why he orders a shot
of whiskey and afterwards look into his pocket. The man responded,
"I have a picture of my wife in there and when she starts to look good then i'll go home.
Wino
The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.
A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, sir. You're obviously drunk" The wasted wino asked,
"Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple."
