Lexophile

[Pura Vida]

Lexophile" describes those who have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "To write with a broken pencil is pointless."
This year's winning submission is posted.


*No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
*I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.




*When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.


*I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.



*I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.


*England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .


I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.


*I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.


*A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.


A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.


*When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.


*Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.


*Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

 

[kitedoc]

Not up to standard, but here goes:
Putting cigarettes in my pocket loses me money.
A stitch in time puts me out of the race of nine.
Injections have a point, so do needles.
Seeing the doctor is pointless, unless I get an injection.
A bird in the hand requires a nappy. Two in the bush may be caught napping.
My body needs a service to stop my smoky breath braking out.
Souls sometimes get weary, they may need a retread.
Why go for broke when it is already fixed?
If it is not cricket, try toasting something else.
Baseball is under-pitched just as cricket is under-arm.
By owing the doctor money you live longer.
My bicycle is weary of things, it should have been retired long ago.
Undertaking something for someone may not stop their coughing.
The two things that may thrive from Big Pharma are health and crops.
Things were going well until my karma ran over my dogma.