I definitely feel your pain , you’ve definitely made the hardest step, by realising what you have to do , i was in a similar place a few years ago, now I’m not a “model “ diabetic but I am better. All I’ll say is small steps , don’t try and eat the whole elephant so to speak , the best thing you can do is to take your blood sugars regularly, cos without that you don’t know where you are . You have a huge incentive to change things around , your granddaughter , believe me when I say it can and will get better , by the sound of it if you take your blood sugars and take your meds you’ll have a 100 % increase , and let’s face it 100% was always acceptable when I was in school.