Pura Vida
Well-Known Member
Subject: Fwd: FW: Marital Bliss . . . . .
Marital Bliss . . . . .
For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed. Either way, his humour was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great 'one liner's' from the man who was known for his clean humour.
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE
FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays...
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere,
But she keeps finding her way back..
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen..
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops..
6. She has an electric blender, electric
Toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
To sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair..
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
Because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."..
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off..
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
For the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"..
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce..
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
First name was 'Always'..
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her..
13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"..
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it........these were the good old days when humour didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programs with the words...
"God Bless" with a big smile on his face. : )
Marital Bliss . . . . .
For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed. Either way, his humour was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great 'one liner's' from the man who was known for his clean humour.
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE
FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays...
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere,
But she keeps finding her way back..
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen..
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops..
6. She has an electric blender, electric
Toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
To sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair..
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
Because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."..
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off..
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
For the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"..
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce..
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
First name was 'Always'..
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her..
13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"..
Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it........these were the good old days when humour didn't have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun.
And he always ended his programs with the words...
"God Bless" with a big smile on his face. : )
