Mother's having a melt down!

[1505helen]

My daughter has type 1 found out on Thursday...

Ok so Emma is fine and has taken control of the diabetes rather than the other way round which is of course fantastic! So why am I having a melt down?

Anyone else react like this?

Thoughts please............

Helen x

 

[angieG]

Well I was 45 years old when initially diagnosed as a 'type 2'. After 18 months I was referred to a Consultant with high levels and keytones and re-diagnosed as a type 1, and I can assure you my Mum has in effect had 2 meltdowns!! (Great phrase by the way!!)

Initially she treated me as if I was seriously ill and had a wonderful habit of telling everyone, so I threatened to tell everyone she was 'ill' with high blood pressure!! That settled her down a bit.
Then when I went onto the insulin she was relieved as it made me feel and look better (as I had lost a large amount of weight) but she then took to panicking as to whether I was okay, hypo, needed feeding etc!! It took her a while to realise if I got things right I was fine!!
Pleased to say she is better now, bless her!!

You will get over the initial shock and calm down soon, learn together and support one another.
Regards
Angie

 

[hale710]

My mother is the same. She has moments where she gets upset (I don't help by winding her up telling her she gave me faulty genes )

Emma is ok with it because she HAS to get on with it. You're watching on the outside and I think that makes it almost harder as you want to control it for her! Should have seen me trying to explain to my mother that " big girls" don't take their mother to every single appointment...... I'm 23. You'll get used to it eventually!

 

[Shzz46]

My son was diagnosed 8 years ago (hes 28 now ) and I have been to everyone of his appointments with him even attended the carb counting course I'm glad I did as I was diagnosed type 2 ,4 years later


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[1505helen]

Thanks both x

I think you've hit the nail on the head she's in control so she's fine, all I can do is watch her and annoy her by asking if she's ok!

Angie I've managed to avoid telling anyone other than my dad! My two sisters will take the 'oh no she's seriously ill approach!'

I'm feeling guilty for more or less telling her she was imagining it all, I fall into the 'pull yourself together and get on with it camp'.......usually

Perhaps that's why she's coping so well my philosophy on life has rubbed off on her! We both have thyroid problems and I have pernicious anaemia and have monthly B12 shots (which I can't do myself because they hurt so much....pathetic isn't it? My husband does them for me) it was almost inevitable she'd collect another autoimmune disease eventually.

My older daughter has escaped my **** genes so far LOL!

Glad I've had a good cry tonight! As for Emma .....she's gone out for a meal with her friends, all her kit and haribos crammed into her hand bag! My meltdown started when she said her mobile was almost out of charge on her way out of the door........at least I waited till she was out of sight LOL. I'm even going to bed before she comes in, won't sleep of course!

Thanks for replying,

Helen

 

[hale710]

Haha yeah my mum would probably still worry if she knew I was headed out with limited battery. She was with friends though so I'm sure they would have lent her a phone if she needed it! I'm lucky in that my best friends are a doctor and a dietician

I was the one convinced I was imagining it. I thought the weight loss was due to stress at work and having a new puppy, the thirst due to central heating which I wasn't used to etc. my parents came gone after 4 weeks away, took one look at me and sent me to the doctor. Apparently I was visably ill, but I felt fine!

My mother told everyone under the sun. Still does. It winds me up no end! Family wasn't an issue as my cousin is 22 and type 1 also, has been since she was 11. She has poor control though as she doesn't care and so they thought I'd be like her. I've managed to prove them wrong so far! Most people don't understand and that's why they react like she's an invalid. The more you both understand the more you can educate people

I have 3 siblings, all fighting fit. My mother has hypothyroidism which I have been tested for numerous times but so far so good. Apparently it's a matter of time though as it goes hand in hand with diabetes. But hey, I'm already doing injections so what's a few extra pills a day?!

I hope you've cheered up a bit today when you see she probably had a good night out with no major drama!

 

[Just Laura]

Hi Helen

Sounds like your daughter is a lot older that mine, who is 5.
But I most definitely had plenty of 'meltdown' moments. In the early days, I would be sobbing in the loo while she was merrily carrying on as normal!
I guess it's probably to feel a little more in control with a littlie though? And the spontaneously bursting in to tears moments stopped after a couple of weeks. So I guess it gets easier - life is just a bit different now.

Hope you both adjust to it as well as you can and the meltdowns get fewer and farther between!

x


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[1505helen]

She had a lovely time last night, bit naughty ate more carbs than she perhaps should but at least she was happy testing and injecting in public!

As for the phone, she's quite often let it run down so I have most of her friends numbers already anyway!

I have to keep reminding myself she's ninteen in a couple of weeks and off to Uni in September so I'd better adjust and quick or I'm going to drive her insane LOL!

Helen x

 

[hale710]

She had a lovely time last night, bit naughty ate more carbs than she perhaps should but at least she was happy testing and injecting in public!

Personally I eat all the carbs I want, even my favourite sticky toffee pudding isn't off the menu! Provided she determines the current carb to Novorapid ratio it's all fine. Bit of trial and error at first but it works out in the end

 

[CambridgeLass]

Hi Helen,
What can I say, you're a mum! And parents worry so much about their children, more so after a diagnosis. I cried rivers first few days, it does get easier and I think the more you understand the better you feel. Emma sounds like a wonderful smart girl - credit to you! She'll be fine and it sounds like she already knows she can carry on with her activities and be in control. Her coming on here shows she wants to learn and seek support which is a wonderful thing. I've certainly felt much better once I talked with other parents.


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[EmmRoseTat]

I think iv been quite relaxed, not stressed myself out since being diagnosed 5 days ago. However the parents cant say the same, I love how this forum has a parent section so you can keep your worrying to yourself mum till you've been given advice
Since being diagnosed it's my parents who have been getting upset and not me.

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[mrman]

Found the same except it was my wife worrying more than me lol.

You will get fed up are u ok, can u do that, do u need a snack.

Best one has to be when I'm a bit irritated I get asked are your sugars ok, needless to say I get irritated more lol. But i suppose i would rather that than her not care !

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[hale710]

Haha I love that you came on here wanting to vent a bit while Emma was out but she still came home and found it!

 

[1110Karen]

Hi Helen,

My son (Harvey age 9) was also diagnosed Type 1 on Thursday a huge shock to us as no trace of it in the family. I have been feeling exactly the same. Harvey has been amazing and taken control like your daughter and he's so matter of fact with it. Think I would have been 10 times worse if he hadn't reacted the way he has.

It's lovely to know that there is so much support out there

Regards
Karen
x

 

[alby tross]

My daughter has type 1 found out on Thursday...

Ok so Emma is fine and has taken control of the diabetes rather than the other way round which is of course fantastic! So why am I having a melt down?

Anyone else react like this?

Thoughts please............

Helen x

Hi Helen.

You're having a meltdown because you're her mother and you love and worry about her. It's what we mothers do! My own son has serious health problems (non-diabetic related) and even at 18 I worry about him. I am sure that Emma will be fine.

 

[laura1981]

My daughter was 9 when diagnosed and doing everything herself by the second day. She attended the hospital school room and on 3rd day in hospital well she was there and i was alone waiting for her it hit me like a sack of spuds wat was happening i didnt even feel it coming. I had a total melt down. I think at the end of the day its our babies no matter wat age they r and also the fact that they will always have it and we cant make them better like a parent should. But always remember they are tougher than we think and it does get easier. Good luck always here if u need a chat

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[Mags68]

Hi everyone, new to all this as my 14 year old daughter was diagnosed 2 weeks ago. She seems to be coping ok but I am a nightmare. I know I will eventually get on her nerves worrying all the time. If I had my way she would be with me constantly!! Started reading the forums but had to stop as some were like nightmares. It's reassured me that I know I'm not the only mum struggling and it will calm down. Mags

 

[nursey123]

Hi. I am also the mum of a recently diagnosed teenage girl. I felt stupid I hadn't picked up her condition before as I am a student nurse! I knew all the signs. Because I knew all about complications of diabetes I got really stressed about what may happen in the future. I swear I cried more in the first 2 weeks that I had done in my whole life. She was my baby, it was my job to protect her and keep her safe and well, and I couldn't. That I found/find really difficult. However, she has amazed me. She keeps her BM strictly within limits about 95% of the time. She just gets on with it. 2 weeks after her initial diagnosis (after being hospitalised with DKA) we spent a weekend away at a dance comp and she won so many medals. I was so proud (more tears - but happy/proud ones). She also was back at college almost straight away. She parties and drinks alcohol (but doesn't get hammered!). She has also just started driving lessons on her 17th birthday. She attends dance classes and goes jogging with her mates. She has come so far. She has coped. I was a mess! I try not to worry. She has good supportive family and friends and wears her beaded medic alert bracelet in case of emergency. It does get easier. If you need anyone to talk to I would be happy to give you my mobile number. I have a student nurse friend whose 13 year old daughter was diagnosed last year and we support each other. Always room for a third mum though ............. Good luck to you both x

 

[jowrich1]

Hi all
My 3 year old son was diagnosed earlier this year. I am a nurse too and saw the signs but still beat myself up that I didn't take him to GP earlier!! Even though all the health care professionals told me I'd done really well seeing what was wrong and acting so quickly. 5 nights in hospital and he was fully adapted to it. We got a pump for him 2 weeks after diagnosis and life is great. Like you Helen, I have a thyroid problem so I knew where he'd got his faulty genes from!!! As a mum, you will always blame yourself, it's our nature, and be protective of your own no matter how old or or prepared they are. I have control over my son and his diabetes at the moment due to his age, I'm sure I'll have fun with him when he's older.....! We have booked to attend the JDRF north thing in Leeds in August, just for Saturday, with a view to learning more and meeting other families that may be local for support. They do other sessions too, check it out! Use these forums as a place to vent, get support and information. Good luck all, it's a long road and we'll all keep travelling on it
Jo x

 

[mariamack1]

My son was diagnosed last year age 12. He took it all in his stride, but I just crumbled (not in front of him of course). He is the star patient with the lowest Hba1c, he carb counts, injects his insulin, deals with hypos all by himself, I am just the back-up! And just today he has gone off on a week long school residential. Major major panic on my part, full of excitement and totally relaxed is he. I am so very very proud of him, and only wish I was half as strong as he is, but I suppose it's just the motherly way we are!