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Moving on….Starting on insulin....positive signs of improvement ...glimmers of hope...

How easy, I wonder, would it be to just mentally walk away from this and pretend that it is not happening / not get involved….am feeling that I am losing some of my fighting spirit and that it would be so much easier to just let things run their course…

…..how much easier it would be to not have to remind him about testing his blood sugars and think about what we are eating……how if he doesn’t attend his appointment about the insulin etc or his appointments with the diabetic nurse it would make little difference…
…..and if he does how much more complicated things will become….

…..so why don’t I just stick my head in the sand and get on with my life……..must be the post Christmas / New Year blues kicking in or perhaps I am just getting tired of fighting this anymore……….perhaps I am just having a bad day / week / month.....
 
Think you're brain is rim down coping for two!! You are taling on all the actions that uour OH should be thinkinking about.. So its natural to question what will happen if I don't etc.... Trouble is from your nature I don't think you could switch off from doing these actions and thoughts...
 
It is after all not you who is ill but your partner and thus not your illness but his.
It isn't about sticking your head in the sand. It is letting him un-sticking his.
I am all for it. Let it go, Molly! He will never shoulder the responsibility that is his so long as you carry it. So let go.
 
It must be like taking one step forward and then two steps back again. Or trying to walk up an escalator that is going downwards.

I have lent my son quite a bit of money recently, in two lots, one for water arrears from when he was in his family home with his wife, who then walked out. Before Christmas for something else that needed quick addressing. He was very grateful and has paid a little back ( but he lost his job in December due to the building being demolished). My teenager said "mum thats a lot of money" but it's because I love him and I care for my him, ( even though I feel as though i could throttle him sometimes) but he has been told that's the last time and I mean what I say. I need to start thinking of my needs and maybe treating myself or the house .............. I think many would do the same.
Look after yourself, pick your self up, dust yourself off and go out and really go to town and treat your self, blow everything and everyone else, it's Molly time

RRBx
 
Robinredbreast said:
It must be like taking one step forward and then two steps back again. Or trying to walk up an escalator that is going downwards.
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@Robinredbreast ….think that sums it up quite well actually…

It just feels like there is so much going on at the moment that it is a bit overwhelming and knowing where to start is difficult…before Christmas I was trying to get the insulin appointment rearranged for earlier and then it got put even further away….since then I could have phoned to try to bring it closer but really can’t be bothered to do so….he seems more than happy to wait until February and as someone else pointed out it is his illness, not mine so perhaps I should just leave it / let it go….

Added to this he is now waiting for an operation date following a consultation with urology….plus waiting for a referral to ENT and a follow up appointment with the orthopaedic consultant about his knee / hip….all of which will / could happen in the next two months….

Whilst I was keen to get the diabetic appointments sorted and to embark on the next step I can see that it will not be easy in terms of how it will fit in with his eating habits / lifestyle and can in fact foresee it being quite problematic ……am not looking for problems but just know what may / probably will happen…..and I know it shouldn’t but can see how it will fall to me to sort it out….

I guess my apprehension is justified but wish I could look forward to say six month’s time and think that all of the above worries and fears were unfounded……perhaps this is why I am feeling like my head is in the sand at the moment and that if I don’t think about it then it is not there….I can at least see why people are sometimes in denial themselves about a certain condition as can see how it is happening to me….…if I just close my eyes to it then perhaps it will just not be there…..

I wonder if I can find the 'STOP' button on that escalator.....that might help....
 
@Molly56 ....if yr partner is waiting for an op to be carried out, then he really should start to pay attn to the amount of food containing carb that he eats. If his bg is too high and his hba1c test is also elevated, then the surgeon will just cancel the op and send him home and tell him to get his bg better controlled and the op will be rebooked for a later date. This has happened to someone I know who is type 2 and was told by GP not to bother bg testing......... So its time for you both to start looking at the carb count in food and cut back so that bg is ok and the op will be able go ahead and not cancelled.
 

This has happened to several people who then found this forum to help them.
 

@iHs …..this is a matter that concerns me in that I doubt very much if my partner even mentioned his diabetes to the consultant when he saw him…..let alone mention the fact that he is shortly to start on insulin…referral appointment booked in about a months time….

I am hoping that these facts will be picked up at any pre-assessment rather than on the day of the operation as it would be a waste of the surgeon’s time and a hospital bed if the operation were to be cancelled at that point…

Ordinarily I would attend appointments with my partner to provide support and remember what is said but on this occasion he wanted to see the consultant on his own which I had to respect….I do worry though that not all information was disclosed and that it seemed too easily agreed to go ahead with the procedure without discussing all of the potential risks….having effectively poorly controlled blood sugar levels may I know affect healing and the possibility of infection, neither of which would be desirable given the nature of the procedure involved..

I hope that common sense prevails and that the relevant questions are asked at the pre-assessment stage by the relevant parties….I cannot see that I will be attending this so hope that the medical professionals carrying it out ask (and receive) the correct information…this one is effectively out of my hands….

As far as looking at the carb count in food I can do this to a certain extent in terms of our main meal of the day but cannot account for what my partner chooses to eat when left to his own devices....he does have some strange eating habits which I have so far been unable to discourage...
 
If he doesn't tell the surgeon/consultant that he is diabetic and he has the op with high blood sugars, the op could go seriously wrong. There is a very good reason why they cancel ops on folks that have high BS. It is dangerous. Does he know this?
 
Yep, agreed ... a lack of disclosure is just insane. Hopefully he has been open enough about his condition given the risks.
 
Bluetit1802 said:
If he doesn't tell the surgeon/consultant that he is diabetic and he has the op with high blood sugars, the op could go seriously wrong. There is a very good reason why they cancel ops on folks that have high BS. It is dangerous. Does he know this?
Click to expand...
Mike D said:
Yep, agreed ... a lack of disclosure is just insane. Hopefully he has been open enough about his condition given the risks.
Click to expand...

@Bluetit1802 @Mike D ....I do know that he had to fill a form in and post it back.....and that he did tick the box that said "diabetic"...I trust that this will be picked up when they do the pre-assessment and that the medical staff will ask the relevant questions and make the right call based on the results of tests etc........I assume that the hospital have the latest HbA1c on file as this is the local hospital where our blood tests are sent for analysis so should be available on the system ..........as to whether the risks have been explained to him I don't know as I wasn't there (or more importantly if he has even considered that there are any risks to the procedure, which I doubt).....there again this is down to the medical staff to make him aware of the risks involved and to make sure he understands what those risks are when coming to a decision....
If there is an opportunity for me to ask questions at some point I will........ but ultimately he has to take responsibility for his own health on this matter ......(and his diabetes)........it doesn't stop me from being concerned though....
 
Hello Molly 56, it has been a long time since we posted. I have been through the posts on this theme and you are still a very worried woman.
I read a post that said it was Molly time, I completely agree with this. 2015 is the year for Molly.

This man of yours is really pushing all the boundaries, and all the logic of life.

Where I formerly worked, I would see a man having something at morning tea break, then he was not there, he was a diabetic, he was dead I discovered, not looking after himself.

My own office boss, following an operation for phlebitis, he came back to work then was unwell again, he went back into hospital to be diagnosed Type 1 and taught to inject with a needle insulin, twice a day.
One night he was getting ready to go out, he fell in the kitchen, banged his head, came round, was sick, then dropped back down and died, even though his wife tried CPR on him.

The many different departments he is waiting for appointments and operations from, will have full view of the hospital folder and on-line blood test results.The letters that have been written out to him and the ones to his GP.

I am sad to hear that the feared insulin is coming to him, did they not try him on Victoza or similar types of injectable's (non insulin types), before they got to this, or have the diabetic doctors decided to go this one step to try and get him under control, once and for all?.

Molly you are a million mile woman, who has done/is doing so much for this man, who is blinkered to what is making you feel and how much it is bringing you down, What a Selfish man he is, not caring for himself and not caring for what it is putting you and anybody else through, Molly take many steps backwards and look out for yourself more, it is so important.

The man will have a pre-assessment with a nurse and when she/he goes through the list and file, the truth and instructions will be given. When this is said then the decisions will be made and he will get the what to do instructions and if he does not get with the program, then he will be put back onto the list until he does comply, as previous posts have already said, his future treatment is squarely in his own hands.

The only way he will be fully 'controlled' is by you being there all day everyday, and that would not do you any good at all.
The other option is he could end up being admitted to hospital for control to be achieved, will he be in hospital when he goes on insulin,or is it in the new injector pens system?.
Molly what would you do if he was taken into hospital, to get controlled and then he would face the finger stabbing at least between 4-6 times a day! and the breakfast options are not that appetising!

Molly take a rest, take a nice day out, but step back. You have done all and everything you can to help "him indoors".
And now all that can be done, has been done.

Molly the 25th January is Burns night, have you been to Scotland? You must be due for a little holiday, after all it has been days since the last one, and that was not much fun.

Speak to you again soon Molly, ttfn Karen



 
Hopefully this won't sound too callous but if he is wanting the op then maybe getting sent home at last minute as his BS is too high will be some incentive to improve it so he can have the operation at a later date. Sometimes we need a specific kick to take it seriously.

As for yourself, I think you do need to try and sit back and have some 'me time'. Carry on doing meals that are healthy for him but let him do or don't do what he wants for a while, if you keep trying to shoulder the whole burden you will make yourself ill as well. Try and think of yourself for a while, although I can understand it's not easy to sit back and see someone we love harming themselves.
 

Have you had a conversation with him about the potential to be canned at the last minute if his bloods aren't in the correct zones? To make changes, we need motivation; this could be his.
 
@Scouser58 …..is good to hear from you again……some sobering stories there and something to bear in mind…has crossed my mind that this could potentially happen…

Am hoping that common sense will prevail when any hospital appointments come up ….this is in the hands of the medical staff and while it has been suggested by others on the forum that I tell him that the operation could be cancelled because of his high blood sugar levels he would just not listen to me….this has to come from the medical staff….so I can only hope that they do tell him this….

With regards to moving on to insulin he is still waiting for his first appointment to discuss this in detail…the GP practice nurse passes this on to a specialist team which covers our area so I don’t yet know what it is that they will suggest….perhaps there are options such as those you mention but I don’t understand enough about it to know what they will suggest….guess we will just have to wait and see
….whatever they suggest I anticipate that it will not be straightforward given his patterns of eating and sleeping but will have to cross that bridge when we get there…and as someone else pointed out I need to leave that to them to sort out….only trouble is they are not here 24/7 to see what actually goes on….

Am finding some time for myself and developing my sewing project…designing and making my bags….my son helped me to set up a Facebook page so I can at least post some pictures for people to see what I do….perhaps 2015 will be the year that I can start this up and make it a success…I guess every business has to start somewhere…is also a good “escape” from everything else that is going on….
.....sometimes I think my reasons for starting this are somewhat unconventional....sown from the seeds of frustration....but at least it is a project that I can throw myself into and find pleasure and enjoyment in being creative.....

So, in conclusion......Am stepping back where I can…..but am prepared to step forward when required to do so....…
 


Lovely to hear from you Molly. Best of luck with it all ,especially your beautful hand made bags, you are a very talented lady

' If don't start somewhere, you ain't going nowhere' Bob Marley Take care,

RRB x
 
Hi Molly 56, from what I remember about insulin, it has a more strict set of rules about it's use.
There time lines that have to be stuck too, and when to eat is also a strict requirement.
The T1's who I worked with, had to get up, have injection, then at a set time later have something to eat, within 30 minutes they said. The keep in touch with how they were feeling and watch what they ate. Then in the time for 2nd injection(if that was the case) repeat the above system of injection, then meal. Having insulin is not to be seen as the get away with what I am doing 'my way' excuse.
Then there is the having to keep an eye on time, food intake and the hated bs levels. On one night out from the office, in the bottom of my handbag was my bosses injection kit (syringe and insulin bottle) and my first aid id card, good job I was not searched!!.

So Molly as others have said it's Molly time, will you pass on the Facebook address for your @bags of sanity'project. So for now Molly, and post again soon, Karen
 
@Scouser58, it will depend on what insulin they use and how it is applied. If a mixed insulin is used, then there will be some pretty strict requirements as far as when eating is required. As I understand it, when put on insulin, T2s are generally issued with a basal long acting insulin which shouldn't require feeding, but they are still expected to manage their diet very carefully.
 
I have gained a great friend (she is a pharmacy manager) in the last year, purely from being a local chemist and when reviewing my meds (as they should do if they manage your prescriptions).
She was actually more interested about my pump...

Anyhow, just saying that it is possible to strike up good relationships with Pharmacists on a personal basis and telling them what is happening with penalty charges and prosecutions...

She has really listened to me and now cards are asked for from everybody.

Let your Pharmacy Managers know whats happening and the majority of them will take it on board. Most of them have private discussion rooms so the conversation doesn't have to take place in public.

Having a good relationship with your pharmacist is so important anyway and mine certainly is exceptional not just because we have a good friendship but because she listened to me in the very 1st place when reviewing my meds...
 
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