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Message: <blockquote data-quote="WhitbyJet" data-source="post: 236054" data-attributes="member: 35964">Oh Dreamkitty, I am so sorry to hear of your loss.Your feelings of grief are still very raw, and thats only natural, its only a month since your bereavement. Its very sad that your grandmother became so ill before her death, you know sometimes it just happens like this, elderly people havent got the resistance a younger person might have, there comes a point when the body gives up, no treatment in the world would have helped. Age doesnt come into it, when you love someone they can be 700 years old and it still would be too soon for them to die. The pain that you are experiencing now will fade, it will give way to warm feelings and fond memories, I guess you find that hard to believe right now, but I promise you it will get easier.I lost my grandmother 3 years ago, she was 98, I kept on torturing myself with thoughts of 'if only we had done this or that', I found lots of talking to my parents and aunts and uncles helped me to move on from that, so Dreamkitty you are already working things through, you came to the forum to talk about things, it is good that you can open up. Everyone grieves in a different way, there is no right or wrong. As I have said I found that talking helps, but there are also organisations that can be contacted, eg CRUSE Bereavement Care, they can arrange for a counsellor to see you. Losing a loved ones brings a whole host of feelings to the surface, feelings you werent even aware of having before all this happened; bereavement also makes you more aware of your own mortality. All feelings that need to be dealt with.From the way you write I can tell that your grandmother was a lovely woman, she was obviously loved and cared for by you and family right through the end. I can tell you that this is very special, I know its a sad fact that not all families have this kind of closeness. I hope you can take some comfort from knowing that you all did your best for grandma.All those years ago, when you was born she planted a little seed into your heart, the seed of love and this is still within you, nobody can take that away from you and it will continue to grow, you will pass some of it on to all the people that you hold dear to you, one day you might have children of your own, you will pass this special love on to them like I did/do to mine.There will be days when you say or do something without thinking, an suddenly realise 'this is just what grandma used to say/do'.I dont know if you celebrate Christmas, but if you do, light a special candle for her, she is with you in spirit, right there in your heart, that is her legacy.A really big hug to you and all the best to you and your family x x</blockquote>

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