My Partner Doesn't Get It!!

It is a dilemma as what us unqualified do on this website and outside halts the progression of diabetes at the very least or reverses the condition at best. The mainstream professional advice at the very best masks symptoms whilst not addressing the root causes.

There is a reason why this site is one of the most popular in the world. You could show your other half the success forum on this site, you could show the carb content of potatoes, rice, and pasta and relate this to sugar content.

In my opinion and as my doctor informed me 'it is my health and my responsibility - he is only there to offer advice - whether I follow this or not is my decision'.
The NHS advice can be interpreted in several ways - if you choose to read into it that you need to look at keeping your carbs low then that is for you to decide.
Yes I went against my doctors advice and I brought my own testing kit and I can honestly say for me it has made the world of difference. It has helped me to see what food groups really spike my sugar levels - it is all well and good that we get the HbA1c every now and then and it shows what generally is going on but for me knowing day by day was important.
I believe in taking responsibility for my health and doing what is best for my health as much as I can - so for me the cost of testing is worth every penny.
My doctor only said to eat good carbs...... wholemeal bread, brown rice - he never said eat this amount and the diabetic nurse said if you never eat bread again it won't do you any harm...........

My advice - do what is right for you - but it has to be your decision - no-one should be telling you what to do and yes we are the non professional in the field of type 2 diabetes but we are the ones living with it and quietly we do what works for us.
Each type 2 is different and reacts differently to each and every food type and that is why we all have to test because what works for me may not work for anyone else..................

I wish you well and this is only my own opinion and I am not a qualified doctor.

You have the right idea by wanting to take control rather than delegate to the GP.
Can you sit your partner down and explain that the doc was probably trained years ago and so is giving you outdated advice.
What a lot of us here have achieved, according to my Diabetes nurse, isn't even possible. We should all be getting worse and ending up on insulin.. hey ho..

Show them the success stories thread and maybe some videos from Jason Fung or dietdoctor.com but remember.. it's you that have diabetes not your partner or your GP so it is your choice what to do..

I've always been a cantankerous old git so my hubby wasn't surprised when I decided to ignore the DN advice and has been supportive (whilst eating curries and take away Chinese alongside my fasting of course!).

I hope you can persuade your partner to become part of the solution and not part of the problem. We're here for support and help otherwise.. good luck!

Unfortunately most doctors don't have a clue about how to effectively manage type 2 diabetes. They hand out drugs and when they don't work try to get you to take even more. The sad truth is that the drugs don't work very well and if you carry on eating what you did before than your blood sugars will remain high and can lead to diabetic complications such as nerve damage, eye damage, dementia and a ten year drop in your life expectancy.

Doctors are not keen on people measuring their blood sugars, because their advice on diet is so bad the patients will get frustrated with the lack of progress. However, if you adopt a LCHF diet then in most cases you can expect to get down to non-diabetic HbA1C within 6 to 12 months, or a lot earlier if you also do intermittent fasting.

You have to take responsibility to manage type 2 diabetes and these forums provide the best advice that actually works.

It comes down to the simple fact that only you can do what is necessary to help you. Once you get your meter, and along with this site, you have the tools to do it. Your doctor can give you drugs and advice, but will that be what it takes to do the job? Reading around this site you will find many people, including me, that have made big progress without drugs and by doing what has worked for others on this site. Read much, ask much, and get plain mean determined to do what works!

Maybe explain that with any luck and a bit of support you could have readings which are no longer diabetic.
I was a full blown diabetic thanks to a cholesterol lowering diet sheet from my doctor (it didn't work) 80 days later I wasn't even in the diabetic range. Now at 6 months I have normal readings, and lower cholesterol.

When your meter arrives, show him some of your results. Eat a "normal" meal - one you would have eaten previously. Test before and 2 hours after and note the rise from before to after. Then do the same with a carb free meal (bacon and eggs perhaps) and show him the difference. Let him see that it works.

I'm sure he is well meaning and perhaps sees you stressing a bit, but obviously he is ignorant of what causes diabetes and how it can be controlled, that carbs are the baddies. Ask him why T1s have to inject certain amounts of insulin when eating carbs, the amount injected depending on the number of carbs. As T2s not on insulin we have make use of our own natural insulin to counteract carbs, and as our insulin isn't working properly it can't cope with too many carbs.

Metformin is a soft drug. It does very little to help reduce glucose levels. Diet is the key.

Sadly, a lot of doctors think the way your partner does, which is why T2 is known as a progressive disease. Eat carbs, take the pills. Then take more pills. Then take stronger pills. Then eventually inject insulin. I'm sure your partner doesn't want this for you.

Lastly, promise your partner that you will tell your doctor/nurse about your change in diet and your testing. We should all do this, to help educate them.

bluelybell said:

He's worried that because I haven't talked to the dr about my diet changes, lower carbs, and the prospect of testing my bg, that I am therefore going against medical advice and that instead ive been talking to you guys and getting advice from a 'non qualified source' and the 'internet' that I am somehow going to do myself serious harm.

Any advice is welcome.

Thanks in advance.

Bluelybell

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Perhaps get your partner to voice his concerns on this forum, possibly using your account. Hearing it from people who appear to be sane, rational, and sensible may win him round.
Geoff

My husband had the same concerns but I really wanted to do it but luckily my husband knows that our GP is a complete plank so couldn't use the 'going against medical advice' argument.

We struck a deal, I would give it a go for a month and if, in that time, I felt ill or had increased BG, blood pressure or any other kind of worry that I would stop immediately. Each day (bless him) he would check my BG record and be next to me as I did my fasting blood glucose reading. At the end of the month we had a re-evaluation and decided that I would continue with it for another month as I had reduced my insulin injections to almost nothing. During the second month he was still 'monitoring' me but was as chuffed as I was when I didn't need the insulin any more and a few weeks later stopped some of my other meds.

After a couple of months he liked the look of my food so much that he (a reasonably slim non-diabetic with just a tiny belly and love handles) decided to start low carbing with me - that was about nine months ago and since then he has lost his little pot belly and has lost four inches off his waist.

I don't think I could have done it without his support (especially at first) and I feel the reason I have been successful on this way of eating is because I included my husband in every decision and didn't make him feel like I was excluding him from what is, after all, something that is really important. .

I also concentrated on 'normal' looking food like steak and chips and roast dinners - and made some very nice low carb cakes and desserts.

librarising said:

Perhaps get your partner to voice his concerns on this forum, possibly using your account. Hearing it from people who appear to be sane, rational, and sensible may win him round.
Geoff

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Sensible rational and what!? That's me out of the picture then oh appear to be - I can do that.

My husband still thinks that I don't have to test my blood sugar levels, that I'm a hypochondriac! I ignore him!

I was given a meter and test strips and told to test. The nurse was horrified with how much Weetabix raised my levels. She really thought it was good for diabetics. So that was changed with her agreement - eggs and mushrooms gave so much better result. We might be able to educate the medical staff. My GP at that time said all his diabetics were on medication and when I got my HbA1c down to 33 (up a bit since) he said he had never heard of a diabetic with an HbA1c that low. He told me I was only given a meter as it was obvious that I was going straight onto Insulin. Just before he retired he told me he had 3 diabetics managing on lifestyle changes. A little progress in educating the experts.

I would just like to add my 2 penneth.................... as a type 1 I take insulin so circumstances are different ------ but I am in constant contact with a dietician that works for the NHS and she is in complete favour of eating what works, --and using a meter to find out what works for the individual.
using her rationale has helped many type 2 D's that I personally know to come off all meds

keep doing what you are doing !!

bluelybell said:

My partner has got the opinion that i shouldn't be thinking of testing, carb counting and that I should be just sitting back and taking my increased dose of metformin and just 'do exactly what the dr says' and basically carry on eating just the way I have been which hasn't been the best and to keep taking the medicine. I really don't want to especially having read about how you guys are making lchf work.

He's worried that because I haven't talked to the dr about my diet changes, lower carbs, and the prospect of testing my bg, that I am therefore going against medical advice and that instead ive been talking to you guys and getting advice from a 'non qualified source' and the 'internet' that I am somehow going to do myself serious harm.

Don't get me wrong I am concerned that I'm not going to be able to stick to this but I have a meter on order, I have an app on my phone that will help track things and I have been thinking of menu ideas and I have this forum.

Any advice is welcome.

Thanks in advance.

Bluelybell

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trust in yourself dear , you´ll need that from now on... cause so many people have an opinion of how one should eat when being diabetic... I have met many telling me that one do need some sugar sometimes... huh ???!!! where do they have that from...?

Both my GP and Diabetic Nurse encourage the lchf lifestyle and are very pleased with my progress, in fact the nurse said she recommends it to all her patients. Self testing however is a different matter, I was told not to because I could become obsessed or that as a t2 I don't need to but they still asked what my reading's were!
I say.... do what you need to do to get some control, you don't need to become obsessive, I have a few meals that I have tested 3 or 4 times and I know what effect they have (hardly any) so I don't worry about testing them anymore and I know that porridge spikes me into the teens so I avoid it.
In fact 2 non diabetic family members have started lchf (after quizzing me as to why I'm doing it so I explained why and how) and a diabetic type 2 friend has also started because the NHS guidance just isn't helping her (and she got a meter from her gp whereas 10 miles away I have to self fund!)
If your partner has questions then ask them here and maybe some of the very knowledgeable members will explain.

Very interesting as today the diabetic nurse told my husband that it's ok to eat what he wants in moderation! She even said of course you can have a biscuit but just one....? I'm going to down load some low carb recepies and try hard to get going on reducing carbs for my husband

Hi Bluelybell

Just wanted to say I was diagnosed T2 in 2014. The day after my diagnosis I put myself through Doctor Roy Clarke's "Optifast" protocol.

I was 26 stone when diagnosed and am now 16.5 stone (I was carrying another person around with me in my shirt)

My last 3 HBa1C tests have been in the high thirties (last one 37 I think)

Blood pressure is good as well.

I get my regular toe-tickling checkups with bloods etc but take no medications for T2, BP or Cholesterol.

I eat mostly fat, vegetables and protein. For the first year I ate no bread or pasta or alcohol or sweets at all (total cold turkey).

Since then I've relaxed a bit and have the occasional stress binge with a glass or red wine and pizza involved:-(

Over the longer term (averaged over the last two years) I track myself on myFitnessPal and keep my calorie input as close as possible to 1500

What I take out of this is that medical protocol moves slowly but I was going to loose limbs, erections and quality life with wife and kids. I had a gun to my head and I didn't have time to wait. Dr Clarke's original protocol lasts for 8 weeks. NHS Doctor re-training could take 8 years. I just couldn't wait.

My advice would be listen to your doctor but be an active patient, ask questions, make suggestions, and as well as following doctor's advice, stop eating sugar and keep the calories somewhere sensible.

I could hug and squeeze that man. He saved my life.

Hope you get a better feeling about your doc. Also, your partner needs to respect your feelings and intuition a bit more!

Ian

bluelybell said:

My partner has got the opinion that i shouldn't be thinking of testing, carb counting and that I should be just sitting back and taking my increased dose of metformin and just 'do exactly what the dr says' and basically carry on eating just the way I have been which hasn't been the best and to keep taking the medicine. I really don't want to especially having read about how you guys are making lchf work.

He's worried that because I haven't talked to the dr about my diet changes, lower carbs, and the prospect of testing my bg, that I am therefore going against medical advice and that instead ive been talking to you guys and getting advice from a 'non qualified source' and the 'internet' that I am somehow going to do myself serious harm.

Don't get me wrong I am concerned that I'm not going to be able to stick to this but I have a meter on order, I have an app on my phone that will help track things and I have been thinking of menu ideas and I have this forum.

Any advice is welcome.

Thanks in advance.

Bluelybell

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