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My Step Dad is diabetic and won't listen....

zolabud

Well-Known Member
Messages
4,285
Location
Lewes. Near B right on. East Sussex.
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Diet only
Dislikes
Whelks,winkles... All crustaceous seafood except prawns. Can't do crab.lobster or scallops.
Don't like the way they are killed and cooked. Save our Scallops. SOS !!!
Also HATE evaporated milk.
I have a Step Dad who is diabetic Type 2 and on 4 Metforim per day ( Don't know what strength)
His Mother was Type 1 Diabetic and he used to inject her everyday. She carried on eating sweets and Mars Bars and ended up having both her legs removed below the knee and was in a wheelchair the rest of her life.

Anyway I have known for a couple of years he is diabetic and he doesn't take sugar in his tea anymore and has tweaked his alcohol consumption accordingly. He now drinks very dry Vermouth and diet lemonade.

When he was diagnosed 2 years ago he was told to watch what he ate and given diet sheets but he hasn't really taken it on board about carbohydrates.

2 years later he is now on 4 metformin per day.

He rang for a chat earlier and he asked me what I had for dinner.

I said "Fish salad. Prawns,smoked salmon,crabsticks and smoked mackerel and a large salad including avocado."
This is my favourite dinner at the moment and usually makes my BGs rise from 6 to 9.

He said "What about potatoes then?"

I said "They can make your blood sugar levels spike but you won't know how much unless you test.Have you been offered a monitor?"

"Yes,but I can't be a***d with all that,I just want to know how to eat." He replied.

"What about bread? I had Tiger bread with peanut butter earlier. That's ok isn't it?" He asked.

"Well white bread,potatoes etc can make you spike but again you won't know unless you monitor your blood. Peanut better should be ok as long as it isn't loaded with sugar."

I said to him "I monitor my blood and eat accordingly as I don't really want medication and I don't want to have to inject".

Right. He and my Mum are visiting tomorrow and I will show him my Glucomen monitor and show him how to test. I think he eats very badly. Chips,potatoes,pastys,cake,
He is aware that sugar is a no no but doesn't have any idea about carbohydrates.
He is very aware about what and what not to drink though. He thinks that is good enough.

My Mum does all the shopping and cooking for him and still thinks that I should give up eggs as I have slightly raised cholesterol.
It will take educating my Mum too which will be hard work as she doesn't like folk "telling her what to do".

What is the worst that can happen to him if he carries on eating like he does? He isn't overweight at all and just eats what my Mum gives him. And he likes egg and chips and fish and chip suppers from the local fish and chip shop... And Kentucky Fried Chicken too...

Would he eventually become insulin dependant Type 2? I have read on here haven't I that some Type 2s inject?

2 years ago he was told to watch what he ate... Now he is on 4 Metformin a day. That means his fasting test has gone up. Yes?

Sorry for all the questions but I am still a bit unsure about certain aspects of Diabetes.
 
It's a familiar story I'm afraid. My wife and her boss are both biomedical scientists and he is also married to one. He was diagnosed with type 2 last year and has now moved from metformin to something stronger and fully expects to end up on insulin. He already has lots of problems with his feet and eyes but he just eats the same as before. He is aware but just accepts it as a progressive illness.

His wife talks to mine and is told of the sort of things I eat. At the moment this is similar to what you are eating. They are all clued up individuals in as good a place as you would want for seeing the effects of not controlling it. Yet, people find it hard to make the necessary changes. I have found it easy but I have a few advantages. Firstly I work from home and have time and secondly, I love learning to cook. By being at home, I can also organise things around exercising, even if I am mowing the lawn or cutting the hedge. It works because I can create a routine, something you slot into, without thinking. It becomes sort of automatic. Otherwise, it is all too easy to stay in the old routine. Something more than just snapping out of it is required. He won't snap out of his old ways until there is something he enjoys to replace his old habits. You have to find that first. He has to have something to look forward to.
 
zolabud said:
I said "Fish salad. Prawns,smoked salmon,crabsticks and smoked mackerel and a large salad including avocado."
Click to expand...

I had something very similar for a pub lunch. Everyone else was having the usual steak and kidney pie, lasagne etc and they all looked envious. It cost about £14 and I thought, I could put this together for a fraction of the price at home. I did and it is now a favourite.

I get my greenlandic prawns and smoked salmon from lidl by the way. They are sensibly priced.
 
I went on holiday last year and shared a dining table with a chap who was Type 2. He had no respect for his diabetes whatsoever. He ate everything on the menu, washed down with a bottle of wine. He also drank massive amounts of vodka and tonic (full fat). He was very overweight and told me that he had had a triple heart bypass. I asked him if he tested his BS, he said no, but I must have made him feel guilty as he came down to dinner one night and told me that he had done a test and it was 26, this before he ate his usual carb and sugar loaded meal. I often wonder if he's still alive!!


Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 
I care for both of my parents, no amount of talking to them makes them see sense. My father eats from dawn to dusk, he isn't massively overweight but he thinks anything below a 9 needs a top up or else he will hypo. He feeds my mother accordingly, I went ballistic again the other night as he shovelled toast down her throat on an 8.1 before bed!!!!

Neither of them listen, neither of them care. I am a mere woman so my 89 year old father will never, ever listen to a word I say as long as he is breathing for what could I possibly know.

I give up, he thought the prospect of leg ulcers and gangrene was highly amusing, so much so he was laughing.

Sometimes, you have to let people self destruct, I have tried for 7 1/2 very long years to educate them to no avail.

Time to look after me.

Ali
 

I get all my food from Aldi since they opened in my small town in the South East.

We have a Waitrose ( out of my league price wise) and a Tesco. I have never liked Tesco and when I went shopping there recently was stunned at their high prices.

Aldi all the way for me !!

The only items I can't find in Aldi is Lambs Liver and lentils. They have started selling organic milk now too which at 79p for 2 pints is a steal...
 


Ooooo I go to aldi all the time for various items but this month am gonna do my full shop
Hoping they have everything I need plus save me a few pennies


Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 
I just spoke to my Mum.
She as usual put the phone on speaker and I knew everything I said was being heard by my Step Dad. I don't like him but my Mum does and that is all that matters so I am civil and friendly as required.

Anyway,we chatted and I said that my Step Dad and myself had spoken about testing and such like and she said "He won't listen...He is eating a trifle at the moment. I told him it is doing him no good and he just doesn't want to know."

I said "Tell him that if he carries on like he is he may get eye damage and may no longer be able to drive..."

My Step Dad is 20 years younger than my Mum. He smokes and drinks and doesn't care for himself at all.
My Mum is 85 and puts me to shame with her abounding energy. (She hasn't smoked or drunk in 20 odd years) I do not want to be responsible for him if (God forbid) she should leave us before him. That is why I am rather worried about his diabetic denial... If you can call it that.

Mum said "That's ok.I will get a taxi...."

I give up.

Sorry...Getting a bit personal here but he hasn't got the 'net so its ok.
 
"Ooooo I go to aldi all the time for various items but this month am gonna do my full shop
Hoping they have everything I need plus save me a few pennies!

Trust me.You will save money. The washing stuff is well comparable to the bigger supermarkets and a lot less money. And ham and suchlike is way cheaper. And olive oil and free range eggs....

If you don't save money I will eat my own earwax...
 

I wonder how many carbs are in that lol


Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 
Eggs. Fine.
Olive oil. I us it as it is mono saturated.
Ham. I buy 'Toulouse' ham which is £1.49 per pack and looks like real ham, not 'formed'. 140 grms for £1.49.
Washing stuff...All I know is I buy a large bottle of Bio liquid and it works out at pennies per wash.

Every week they have a 'special 6' on the fruit and veg. For 69p.

Aldi sure is great value.

Everything except the Lambs liver....
And.... Free range chickens for £4.99.
 
Some people won't listen to reason. The only reason they discovered I had type 2 diabetes was because I had a leg ulcer, the scar that left on my leg is like a mortar shell went into the leg.

Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 



The threat of loss of driving licence was, surprisingly, the most significant factor in getting me to finally take care of my diabetes long term. I ended up with retinopathy and laser, and as I had just started a job which involved driving around I feared the loss of my livelihood too. Just the thought of not being able to go where I want, when I want was and still is enough to make me buckle down most of the time now. I had to have the field test for the dvla but after lots of laser and some damage from an eye op I passed it ok. Whenever I feel tempted to not manage my condition I just imagine waiting at a bus stop in the freezing rain for a bus which probably won't go anywhere near my final destination. Hopefully I have caught it all in time before any further eye damage but at one point I really thought I may lose my licence and it scared the living **** out of me.

I wish you all the luck in the world with getting your stepfather to change but I fear you may be fighting a losing battle. Some people just can't be bothered. If he does eventually go on to insulin it may give him more freedom to eat the naughty stuff, if he injects correspondingly, but then he has to be motivated to learn how to do that - which it sounds like he really isn't.
 
Mr Happy said:
Organic milk 79p - I'm pretty sure all milk is organic...
Click to expand...

Organic milk is milk from cows which were waited upon by farmers in white jackets trained in silver service.
 
Hi Zolabud,

Your mum is a miracle, what more can I say.

Roy
 
Looks like he's thinking about trying to control things. some of the GI diet books have a traffic light system on what to eat, which might be helpful to him.
Hana
 
Interesting day with my Mum and step Dad.

I didn't mention the meter again but when we went round Aldi he pointed to various things and I said Yes or No.

I didn't even mention the monitor. But I think it is an important thing to do as it shows you without doubt which foods make you spike.

We are all different and what makes me spike may not effect others.

But I said white bread and processed foods in general are not really a good idea. So he forwent the tiger bread and bought Ryvitas instead.

I found out that he started on 2 Metformin... And now he is on 4. And he is on Gly...something or other. So I said "If your medication is going up like this does this not prove that you could be eating a bit differently?

He agreed and I really think I am getting somewhere. We talked about potatoes and he said "I like new potatoes". Am I right in thinking that it is better to eat new potatoes than more starchy old ones?

Anyway he said he is going to finish the bag and not buy anymore. My Mum added that she doesn't really like potatoes anyway and only cooks then cos my step dad likes them..... She said the same about white bread.

If I can get him to monitor himself I will. That's when the interest really kicked in for me.

As I said an interesting day....
 

Sounds like a very productive day
And the Gl is probably gliprimide I'm on them 2mg think they are to bring your sugar down better
When I first went to the docs my blood test was 119 scary stuff
Hopefully your father in law will start to listen to you
Fingers crossed Hun


Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 
Yes he is proud. And so is my Mum.

But I have made progress today.

And I didn't think I would....

Thanks for all your interesting replies.
 
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