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Message: <blockquote data-quote="JenLondon88" data-source="post: 1505303" data-attributes="member: 418316">I have only lived in UK a year but I am already an expert at complaining about the weather, a popular English pastime. I complain about the weather and my ****** job and the dating scene in London and it feels great… it makes me feel exactly like everyone else. I get to be the proverbial ostrich, I bury my head as deep in the sand as humanly possible and focus on all the unimportant ‘easy to handle’ topics like trying to drop a dress size and how the quality of the umbrellas available in Boots is getting worse and worse.I have been diabetic for 22 years and have not always been (and quite frankly am still not) what you would call a ‘good diabetic’. As a result I have neuropathy, retinopathy and (my absolute favourite) autonomic neuropathy. Working in communications and having had extensive experience as a copy writer means that people expect me to be good at communicating… but this is something I battle to share. So here I am, on a Diabetic forum for the first time, bearing what feels like my soul, to complete strangers, hoping for some sort of semblance of normality and acceptance.All my friends know I am diabetic and have seen my pump and possibly even bought a Coke to help me remedy a low but there are probably 3 people outside of my family who have ever seen me unwell. As a result, most of my friends think I am flaky, dramatic and a little down right crazy… and I am alright with that. The alternative is them knowing the truth and that is something I am not alright with.The problem arises in that I have hidden my complications for so long I no longer know how to tell people about them. Remember that horrible dating scene I was talking about? Well I recently (somehow) managed to meet someone I actually like and who seems to actually like me back (it is a Christmas miracle).We have been seeing each other exclusively for two months, I have met his parents and my friends absolutely love him. But he knows I am keeping something from him and I just cannot bring myself to say what I need to. How do I tell this man that under my completely average exterior lies a hotbed of unglamorous health complications?The truth: I have confirmed retinopathy which I have regularly treated with laser therapy and Invastin injections.What I say: My eyes are sensitive and I am as blind as a bat.The truth: I have neuropathy and a jammed big toe which means I occasionally get ulcers that can take up to 6 months to heal. I am hyper sensitive to any form of touch from the ankle down.What I say: I like comfy shoes and am too tall to wear heels or cute shoes anyway… I stick to trainers. And I am super ticklish so no pedicures or foot rubs for me thanks.The truth: I have debilitating boats of symptoms relating to my autonomic neuropathy. They are often unpredictable and almost always happen in the evening and overnight. This spans from uncontrollable sweating (like I am running an ultra-marathon under the African sun) to phantom pains in my lower extremities. My most common symptom and definitely my most shameful is rampant diarrhoea and bowel incontinence which I suffer from at least three times a week (that is a good week). I take many precautions if I am out with people but sometimes things cannot be avoided.What I say: Sometimes things related to my diabetes happen that I am not comfortable discussing. If I tell you I need to leave or be alone, do not ask if I am alright, do not try help, do not follow me…. Leave me the hell alone. And no, I do not like sleeping at anyone else’s house, I like my personal space!I know my coping mechanisms are not exactly healthy but they do get me by. I find talking about it makes me feel incredibly depressed and I have always stuck with the philosophy that talking about it doesn’t change what I go through… so I simply pick up the pieces and carry on movingI guess my question is… how the hell do I tell this guy the truth? Do I tell him the truth? How could a good looking, well educated, charismatic man in his late 20’s choose to stay with someone like me knowing all of the above?</blockquote>

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