Need a talking too...

[claridge]

Hi all,

Now l know lm being silly being a bit down so hope for a bit of a talking too
I was diagnosed in Feb with Type 1 and through exercise and low carb have it really well managed. I also make sure l sleep well and dont go out so much on big nights- just generally looking after myself properly. Also l made the choice to massively cut down on drinking- now l will have 1 or 2 max (if any) (due to the Diabetes and my eczema) I feel so much better in myself and life it more easily managed.
However lm just feeling a bit down as l have spent the last 7 years up in London going out- drinking lots and not worrying about the little things as drinking makes everything so much funnier and easier in a way. Im 25 female and single and lm just feeling a tad lost now. People all seem to turn there nose up when they see what l do/dont eat. I dont go out as much so dont seem to feel part of the crowd any more- well mainly the ones that go out drinking a lot. I feel lm losing some friendships a bit- but thats probably just me over worrying. I feel most at home in the country and even have my name down for an allotment. I have been single for 3 and a half years- which is fine as lm very independent. I think lm just feeling a bit down and confused as life seems to have altered a bit and l need to feel confidednt with it.
I definitely wouldnt go back to my old lifestyle as it does seem like it was a bit of a waste- all thosse wasted days spent in bed with a hangover and the nights out l didnt even remember the next day.

Sorry for the ramble was just hoping for a bit of advice...
x

 

[dragongirl]

Hi Claridge

I can empathise, being recently diagnosed. It feels as if we've become someone else, doesn't it?! Someone we never imagined being. And because we're not quite familiar with that new person, it's really troubling cos we don't know how she will manage, or react or find a way forward.
Two things spring to mind about your situation – one is that you've done brilliantly getting control of your diabetes and the other is that you seem to intuitively be moving towards the lifestyle you really wanted – rural, growing things, bit of independence to do your own thing, worthwhile days in sight etc. I guess you could work out a mantra to use for a while, saying something like 'This is me now, and I'm okay, I'm alright'. Friends who don't want to know the new you will drop off, I guess, but you will find others who want to be with you. The in-between bit, when things are in flux, can make us quite anxious but that's just being human! Me, I'm watching to see who really still loves me with my funny eating and hole-ridden fingers from testing.
Hang in there, the worst has already happened so you must be on the way up. I've found people really supportive here.

 

[lionrampant]

Look at it this way - now you can have all those nights out without the hangover because you can't drink as much.

Also, you're going to be much healthier than your pals in a few years. And more attractive as a result. And richer since you're spending less on booze.

Cloud -> Silver lining.

Also, why hello thar 8)

 

[claridge]

I know your both so right- thank you
Dragongirl- you hit the mark there! Im in the flux stage and l am a country home girl at heart yes- lm going to right down a list of the positives- number 1 l get to spend more time on my passions of cooking and well just being out in the country! The mantra is perfect will use that thank you!

Lionrampent- very true! Need to re find Miss Positive.

It makes it so much easier to talk to people who understand!

 

[copepod]

Just an idea Claridge, but are any of your "hard drinking buddies" actually drinking less than when your started going out in London 7 years ago? If so, perhaps you don't see them so often, but they might be happy to meet up for slightly more modest drinking sessions. I'm guessing a bit, but I lived in London as a female from 19 to 23 years, as a student nurse, and drank more often then than I did at university in Newcastle from ages 25 to 29. I didn't have type 1 diabetes then, so can't add that into the mix, as I didn't get that until aged 30 years - which made BSc Marine Biology virtually useless and useless medics put me off working in health for many years.

 

[LittleSue]

If "the crowd" are only your friends if/when you're out drinking with them, I wonder if they're true friends? Reminds me of the email "guardian angels" who only care about you if you forward their message to 50 friends within 10 minutes! A true friend remains your friend regardless of blood tests, changed diets or erratic behaviour when hypos, and stays your friend if you go teetotal.

Perhaps you could take up a new hobby and through that make new friends who've only ever known the diabetic you. You'd have the new hobby in common and friendship wouldn't be conditional on getting legless together. This is the perfect time of year to start an evening class, something positive for yourself, be it salsa dancing, drama, pottery, bee-keeping, family history, a musical instrument, quantum physics, astrophysics, amateur brain surgery, whatever takes your fancy.

Good luck and here's to a new, fulfilled Claridge.

 

[claridge]

Thank you I will look into joining another group to meet new people for sure.
I suppose my worry is that all my friends that l see on nights out dont see me as fun anymore and l worry that l have lost my sense of humor.. think l should go on a comedy night out! ;0) I used to be known as the party girl. Its very difficult as l feel there is an expectation. I had 2 wine's last night as felt l couldnt not drink and think l have lost my love of red wine (which is a good thing) and even felt sick (and guilty!) when l went to bed. Im hosting a dinner party Sat night for a bunch of my girlfriends- will try to let my hair down a bit without drinking.

 

[cathycat1973]

Hi Claridge

There are some great suggestions here for ways to let your hair down in a safe and dare I say it, sober way! You've got a great start considering you love the countryside. I find sometimes just being a bit creative with what you've got (or what hand you've been dealt) can really make a difference. What is it they say? If you're given lemons, make lemonade! I live in a flat in London but one thing I did soon after being diganosed type 2 was start my own herb garden. Sounds daft, but outside my kitchen window there is a flat roof (which we're not really supposed to use) but I put some pots out there and grew my own fresh herbs. I got really passionate about this and found my mothering nuturing side coming out! It's great you've got a nice circle of friends and you may not have to say goodbye to them, even if they do like to party and like a drink. There's more to a person than just Friday night abandon!

Life is for living. But we don't have to put ourselves at risk to do that. You go and be the party girl. You don't need to be so drunk that you forget what's happened to do that. And... you'll be sober enough to collect some funny stories from your friends!