New Year...new attitude...

[Molly56]

Am just a short way into the New Year and seem to have adopted a whole new attitude to dealing with my partner's diabetes ..unfortunately it seems to be quite a negative attitude in that I have decided it is now time for me to step back and leave him to deal with it himself....and whatever consequences that leads to through years of poor blood sugar control.....to be truthful it is not the best of attitudes but after spending the best part of the last couple of years trying to help him I can now see this is a fruitless and thankless task...nothing much has changed and nothing will change until something bad happens to make him sit up and take notice...
....so I will just sit and wait and perhaps be there to deal with the consequences...or on the other hand just leave him to deal with them instead...

...personally I find it sad that I have not been able to do enough to help him see where he is going with this but sometimes you just can't do that.....the blinkers are on and that is that....
....for my part I am feeling a bit down about the whole situation (and at times a bit lonely)....part of me feels that I am a failure in walking away from this but just can't see what else I can do..

Does anyone else feel like this sometimes and what do you do to get yourself out of it.....

 

[4ratbags]

You have to think of yourself, if he wants to self destruct leave him to it. You just have to remind yourself when things go south that its not your fault, its his. My partner has a habit of doing stupid things and every time I start to feel sorry for.him I tell myself 'its his own fault, dont feel sorry for him' and I dont get pulled into his bull****. There is only so much you can try and help someone before it starts affecting your quality of life and you have passed that line a long time ago. Please start looking after yourself, just remember you are important as well.

 

[Sunny]

Molly, just read your post & it made me really sad. Your sorrow is so apparent in your words & also Inbetween them.
Please don't feel like you have failed- you have done all you can & you obviously need to think of you now. That is such a difficult thing -when you have a partner that you love you expect it to be teamwork when dealing with difficult things.
The psychology of illness is SO complicated. We humans are very good at self- destructive behaviour for so many deep & complicated reasons. If we always did what was best for our health there would be no smokers or obesity or addicts etc etc
I am a well- educated, ex health professional who knows exactly what I should & shouldn't eat/do & what the consequences are but I want to be NORMAL!! So sometimes I stick my head in the sand & hope it'll all go away?!! Of course it doesn't - it just gets worse!! It's like a form of self- harm.
I think sometimes we need more than just medical input when dealing with long-term chronic health conditions- we need psychological input CBT for example (cognitive behavioural therapy). Trouble is because it's not something that happens normally, on diagnosis, for example- it would be hard to get your partner to ask for referral.
I've had a wake-up call in the last couple of weeks & at the moment I'm doing really well- I just hope I can keep it up for ever- but that's a tall order for anyone.
Be kind to yourself & do what you need to do for yourself. All the best.