Copy all the above and some. 30 years depression, 12 ECTs, strait jacket, sectioned, months in mental hospital, every psychiatric drug you can name, alcoholism. Yet I have got through it and achieved a lot. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies, I was on a destructive spiral and I think ECT was part of the solution although I can't remember a lot of what went on. I am still anxious and depressed, but 2xcancer, sleep apnoea and diabetes 2 are not the biggest things I have had to deal with. Fight back, take all the help you can get and you will have a good life. Only contented people are happy, so accept what you have as well.