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No motivation, depressed

R

Racso_

Member
Messages
5
Type of diabetes
Type 1
I'm 19, male from the UK studying first year maths at a top university. Before christmas I was diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic, which has got increasingly more serious in the last few months.

I sit in my room skipping lectures and avoiding studying whilst everyone else around me is more motivated than ever. The only thing i'm good at is League of Legends, which is the only reason people talk to me. Some guys off my course invite me to their social gatherings but i'm certain they wouldn't notice if I wasn't there. I'm shy, socially awkward and hate everything about my body. I've pretty much given up on my diabetes control in the last few weeks as I can't see myself making it to when the long term effects of bad control start to kick in and kill me.

Family is the only thing I have going for me. I have no appetite and am really underweight, the main reason for my social awkwardness and low confidence. I'm not sure if I know what depression is, but I don't know what to do right now, and what I'm going to when I fail my resits in the summer.
 
Hi Racso
Im sorry you are having such a tough time. You have a lot going on. Instead of trying to deal with everything at once, break things down into chunks. First thing I would say is to call your diabetic team and arrange an appt soon. Get control again because believe it or not when your sugars are going daft it badly affects moods and you feel terrible! Once you take that step I would strongly advice seeing your doctor or a counsellor to discuss ur shyness and confidence. I have been in counselling for a year now for depression and it has changed me for the better! Once you start taking these steps, your motivation for uni will return. Being diagnosed as type 1 can be a completely overwhelming thing so allow yourself to feel **** about it....but dont let it ruin your life. All of us here have felt that shock and denial so you are not alone.
 
@Racso_ , there's an infinite number of ways in which people react to being dx'd, but, for practical purposes, it boils down to two: people who step up to the plate, accept that it's a messy, unpredictable, random condition which can have horrendous consequences if you don't deal with it properly, find out everything they can about it, and go on and live happy, full lives. And then there's others who just say, oh, woe is me, ignore it, and end up with complications. People often end up switching between the two.

I'm worried that you're post sounds like you're tending towards the latter camp. You need to look on the brighter side. You're shy etc. Who isn't at your age? Even the loud ones have their own insecurities, which they cover up by being loud, and, frankly, irritating most of the time.

You've managed to get to uni, so you're obviously smart. I was the first in my family to get to uni, my parents were and are still proud of that, so don't let your folks down.

Use your intelligence to do some swotting up on the current state of T1. One of the mods here, tim2000s has a blog, diabettech, where he analyses new stuff in a very mathy way, so you might like that. He's reporting on a new faster insulin, Fiasp, at the moment.

There's some fascinating stuff in development: smart insulin, which switches on and off depending on presence of glucose (if, a big if, it works, say goodbye to hypos), HDV which taxis insulin to the liver to reduce post-prandial spikes, and a wide variety of continuous glucose monitoring systems which heavily improve the odds - google or search this site for freestyle libre, dexcom, medtronic.

I generally manage my T1 well, but the randomness still narks me from time to time. Whenever it gets me down, I remind myself of people like Eva Saxl. She and her husband fled Germany during WWII to Shanghai to escape the Nazis, only to find thst insulin supplies were cut off after the Japanese invaded. Did she lay back and die? Hell, no! They set up a make shift lab in a basement, found papers on how to make insulin, and made their own from water buffalo pancreases, enough to save Eva, and several hundred others too. During a war. Heroes. None of us have the right to complain about the odd hypo/hyper when all we need to do is pop round to the chemist to pick up insulin, and have some sweets for hypos. There are still people in the third world who die because they can't afford insulin. We are all much luckier than we think.

Look around this site. There are people who curl up and ignore it, and then regret it once complications set in. And then there's people who deal with it head on, and then head off backpacking round the world for a year. It's up to you what you do.
 
Do you know what will cause lack of motivation, low mood and weight loss? High blood sugar. Uncontrolled diabetes is certainly not going to be helping with any of the problems you are dealing with.

Do visit your GP to discuss your low mood. In might be worth getting in touch with some of the student services for support with depression - most student unions will run a Nightline service and they might be able to direct you to some support with social anxiety etc. You should also talk to you DSN to find out if there is any psychological support available to help you deal with your diagnosis.
 
Hi @Racso_ Being diagnosed as diabetic, whether Type 1 or Type 2, is likely to have psychological effects I cope with depression, as well as T2 diabetes. Depression and diabetes often seem to be relared and feed off each other.
I have found that controlling my blood sugar levels also seems to have improved how I feel, physically and mentally. I also take anti-depressant medication.
A lot of us on here, both T1 and T2 have found that adopting a Low Carbohydrate High Fat (LCHF) approach to eating has reduced our blood sugar levels. Have a read round the threads to see how this works, and ask any questions you want to.
Exercise can also help in lowering bs, and also in coping with depression. It stimulates your body to produce 'feel good' endorphins. Gettinh out into greenery and sunshine also helps.
At a University there should be some support, probably a student counsellor, and it will help to see one to talk about how you are feeling and get some advice, You should also talk to a doctor, your GP or the Uni doctor if there is one. There are ways to cope with depression, medication and/or talking therapies.
I hope you seek some support and help, and feel better soon, though it usually takes a bit of time for things to get better.
 
Fellow 19 year old maths student checking in! I was diagnosed at age 17, in my second year of uni. I felt extremely ill when I was diagnosed, even though I wasn't in DKA, and when I was told how to manage my blood sugars, I obeyed every instruction perfectly because I never wanted to feel that sick again. For many months I struggled with anxiety - I was always worried that I was dying. I had excellent blood sugar control but it took me a long time to finally stop feeling like there was something wrong, and stop worrying that I was suddenly going to drop dead.

Advice I would suggest, try these things out and see what does and doesn't work for you:
  • Diabetes support groups, either online or in person. It might help if you could find a local group to meet up with some other type 1's who are around your age.
  • Make more frequent meetings with your diabetes care team to help keep you motivated
  • If you're not checking your blood sugar enough (consult with doctor about the right times to test), then try to work towards that goal by 1 extra test per day.
  • Keep a diary of one good diabetes management thing that happened each day. This could be good readings, getting your insulin doses right, remaining stable during exercise, sticking to your diet, remembering to do all your tests/injections, going for your blood test/doctor appointments. Anything really, but the important thing to focus on is EFFORT, not results. When you're feeling like you couldn't be bothered to do diabetes stuff you can look back at the diary and see what you've achieved already.
  • If you need motivational incentives, try non-food rewards. Set a goal, e.g. test 5 times a day all week, get fasting reading below 7 all week, etc, and then at the end of the week if you succeed, you get the reward. Stuff like spending a whole day on one of your hobbies, buying yourself something related to your hobbies, going somewhere special with friends/family to celebrate, etc. You think of something you want that would really motivate you.
  • Pay us a visit over at the fasting blood sugar thread (http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/what-was-your-fasting-blood-glucose-number-this-am.22272/) and share your result every day! It's a great community, the daily posts will keep you motivated to actually check your blood sugar, and everyone is supportive no matter what you get.
 
Sorry to hear this, but agree with all above ie poor diabetic control adversely affects mood, low mood adversely affects diabetes control, see diabetes team, see GP or student health to look into possible depression and whether there is anythong that can be done about shyness, lack of confidence. But you also need to talk to someone from the university such as your personal tutor or the head of the department - they are there to help you thorugh the course and exams, and it is easier if they know in advance of problems. Best wishes.
 
@Racso_ welcome to the forum. :)

I want to tell you a story of a 19yr old young lady who was looked apon as the ugly duckling of the uni group. Shy, quiet and hated any attention or her being asked a question out loud. She had experienced a shock and abuse that we could never of comprehended.
To outsider she was not WORTH bothering with because she didn't contribute to anything. Most students just walked passed her.
Now......
She is confident, some may say a bit of a chatterbox but very fun loving. She went on to qualify and have a family of her own.

What changed??

She meet a big chatterbox who told her straight.
How beautiful she was and how interesting she was and had loads of time for her, at first, limited conversation.
They both became friends, not best friends, just friends. Who respected each other and listened to each other.
We spent time together.
A great time we had. Laughing and giggling. One lecturer accused me of creating a monster and we laughed. We all loved our beautiful, confident swan.
The end.
 
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