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non diabetic rivalry

ManateeMarie

ManateeMarie

Member
Messages
10
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Family favouritism!!!!!!!
Has anyone ever experienced this????
I spent the last 5 hours, after a 9 hour shift at work, with no break and no gratitude, getting a lovely meal ready for my dad and his wife, only for my non diabetic twin not to turn up as she had a date with a new guy, (even though she said she would come) and all night, the only thing my dad could say was, where's your sister, I'm not eating till she gets here, have you txt her to ask where she is, now to any other person, this might seem liked a concerned father, looking out for the welfare of his daughter, but thinking about it, this is how he's always been, I've been the mummy's girl, let's be honest , she was the only one who really looked after me, she was the one who looked after all of us, maybe he feels the need to ask about my sister more as he didn't want her feeling left out, she is my twin after all, but some how, through the years , thinking about those little conversations, he's always seemed to favour my sister, she is candy floss, and if you cut me open, all you'll find is black and wrong, I'm the thorn in his side, she's the rose etc etc, on any other day, I could probably put up with it, but tonight,it really got to me, maybe he never wanted her to feel left out, as when I was younger some of the attention swayed in my favour, but I'm 27 now, and after tonight, (I felt invisible) maybe I'm not the stronger one, maybe I've just had to fight that little bit harder,I may aswell have not been there, even my lovely stepmum tried to interject, but it's like he didn't want to know...has anyone else ever experienced any sort of favouritism in a non diabetic sibling, surely I'm not the only one..............
 
Have not experienced this, my sister and I were treated pretty equally, and being 5 years apart in age, we weren't rivals at any one time. I didn't become T1 until I already had a child, so diabetes didn't come into it.
It must be a huge worry for parents of twins, one of whom gets diabetes. It might be seen as a coping mechanism for one parent to 'take charge' of the diabetes problem of the one twin and for the other parent to keep a weather-eye open for the welfare of the other twin.
I can understand how you feel! Maybe your Dad just doesn't realise he's doing what he has always done. Maybe your stepmum does realise and will tip him the wink. Maybe he really was sorry that your sister wasn't there to enjoy the lovely meal you had made for everyone. Just give them the benefit of the doubt, is what I would do. However, I'm not IN this situation, and so, really, what do I know? I just wanted to let you know that I can imagine how you feel.
 
My little brother is always favourite child even at the age of 50 so to make a point I presented him with some sun screen to rub on his backside as the sun was getting rather bright in that general direction. :D
 
My aunt, my mum's sister had two children, both girls. W was the favourite, she the bees knees and my aunt loved her, Y, well she not treated the same. Went on to other stuff in her life ( rumours as well) and she died a few years ago. Cousins child, my 2nd cousin, ended up many years ago living with the said aunt,his grandmother, she brought him up, but couldn't even give her own daughter( his mum) the time of day. It's a sad world :(
 
My middle sister was always my father's favourite - possibly more so after we grew up. He supported her financially, but expected me to lend him money, when he's never even dream of offering me a penny in return. It didn't affect my relationship with my sister, but it certainly did my relationship with my father. Because of his attitude and overall mean behaviour towards me all my life, I eventually ended up with few feelings for him, so I wasn't actually jealous of his preferential treatment, he'd made himself unworthy of that effort. I just regarded it as typical of the man. My in-laws were lovely people and I actually thought of my father in law as the dad I should have had. I've only recently become diabetic, so that never came into the equation.

Robbity
 
Hmmm. Well I don't have siblings, so I'll answer this from the point of view of a parent. My eldest child was often poorly, so I spent a lot of time looking after him. Sometimes it changed when my other son was ill. As a Mum I probably seemed to 'prefer' the one who was most ill at any given time. That's because I felt they needed me the most. My husband compensated by 'preferring' the healthiest one, whichever one it was. So I can see how your Dad might have got into this habit without even realising.

I think it's really hard as a parent to get it right. Treating children equally isn't always easy or even right when their needs aren't equal.

Going back to your situation, yes I would feel the same as you. I hope your Step Mum will tell your Dad where he is going wrong because he does need to see the error of his ways.
x
 
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