Normal Life? or anywhere near.

lilla said:

Well............im glad i asked the question, reading all your comments, suggestions and encouragement has at least assured me, that this is a process, and im not totally selfish for thinking 'how come i got it'.
I try to think positively, every morning i start o well, and by the i have had my evening meal and then started to feel hungry again, my mood changes, i cnnot concentrate, and i start to doubt mysel and my ability to navigate my way through to a good end.

The nhs will not give a monitor, i have asked saying i would feel better knowing how foods efect me and feeling i had some choice and control, but i was advised against testing.

I also asked for a DESMOND course to educate myself, she told me it was a years waiting list! hopefully i will know what i need to know by then. Im thinkingof paying for a nutrisionist, as im getting confused between south beach, and the nhs advice, is South Beach lowcarb high fat? i have high cholestral and hbp, so do i feed myself fat? that just does not sound right, i understand the low cal aspect though, that makes sense.

I cannot think anymore, but will ask these questions another day, on a post in the correct place.
THIS is what i end up doing EVERY night, everything whizzing around in my head, then i can feel my heart racing :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: Good night one and all, thanks for your kind and helpful advice.

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Lilla ... to be honest you're probably lucky to have been refused the DESMOND course, it gives you more time to REALLY get to grips with it all by using THIS FORUM. You really are in the right place.

To start with and to keep things as simple as possible, where diet is concerned, I'd give this website a look over and you'll realise it's not that difficult to eat the right things and that also you WON'T GO HUNGRY which is, what I think a lot of diabetics fear most when learning what to eat - http://www.dietdoctor.com/lchf

Hi Lilla,

my cholesterol and BP numbers have gone down since I started eaing low carb high fat - but I know how you feel its completely counter to what we have believed for years - high fat is evil. As far as I understand it, fat and starchy carbohydrates are not friends if you eat those together you are in trouble. But high fat without the carbs is not bad, it keeps us full. If you don't replace the carbs with something you get hungry and you won't stick to it. Double cream is my friend, I have some almost every day and at my last check up my cholesterol was 4 (i do take a statin every day as well).

I don't know what the south beach diet is but most of us on here started off with a version of Vivs Modified Atkins Diet as per this link viewtopic.php?f=18&t=18803 but I think you said you don't have a lot of weight to lose, so you could add in extra things such as nuts, cream, cheese. I love avocados, mayonnaise etc.

Yesterday I went out for lunch I had a relatively small ham salad in a restaurant which I was worried wouldn't keep me full so I also took a portion of extra strong cheddar and some mayonnaise. These fats bulked up the meal and kept me nice and full till around 5.

Keep asking Lilla, we love helping!

We honestly DON'T have to, need to or even want to - shovel the fats down ourselves. All LCHF is asking is that we stop buying low fat stuff and don't avoid eating the full fat versions of foods. I think when people think of 'high fat' they mistakenly think of it as having to eat loads more of the stuff than they could tolerate. That's not true.

All I do to get my fats in my diet is eat things like this -

fresh meat with it's own fat left on- ie, ribeye steak, shin beef, pork chop, lamb chop - I don't like chicken fat so I don't bother with it
fresh fish - ie, mackerel, sardines,
cheese - full fat, mature hard cheese (I really enjoy that as a supper with a few olives and mayonnaise dip)
sandwich spreads in tubs - egg mayo, corned beef mayo, tuna mayo, chicken mayo etc.
single cream in my coffee
butter for greasing the pan when frying eggs and bacon

The sandwich spreads work well for breakfast on low carb crackers, half a pound of butter lasts me about 2 weeks or even more so I'm really not shovelling it down, but just having those little extra fats in my diet really DOES satisfy me.

Your own body won't let you overdose on fats, it will tell you when you've had enough because you just won't feel you want any more. Also, I would recommend anyone who suffers from constipation - rather than increase fibre and fruit etc, increase fat intake by a little and there soon won't be a problem. Lots of people on low fat diets suffer from constipation but don't connect it with lack of fat, they connect it with lack of fibre.

lilla said:

The thing is I id not feel ill had no symptoms except for peeing at night some times...........im not particularly overweight, although i could lose half a stone....
I just feel out of control of my own body, and its scarey. :?

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I too had no symptoms and felt perfectly healthy when diagnosed in June this year. I had been trying for years to lose a bit of weight as I was a little overwieght but have now managed to lose 2 stone thanks to diabetes. Well in truth it is thanks to this forum.

The first few weeks after diagnosis were awful. I didn't know what to eat and like you say, I felt out of control of my own body. But everything you are doing helps. I tried to keep thinking that a change here and there leading to improved blood glucose was all adding up. And in a way it was a bonus because I was diagnosed before having symptoms - the diagnosis gave me a chance to protect more of my pancreas than if I had only been diagnosed when I had symptoms.

I think I am getting back to normal slowly. It no longer seems that life has come to an end. Just needs a bit more thought and planning regarding food. I no longer eat certain foods but then I eat others that I haven't for years such as fry-ups and full fat products.

I found this forum soon after diagnosis and it is the best resource I have found by far. There are so many knowledgable people available to help, support and provide advice. And they all have personal experience. So keep asking your questions! I do. :wink:

yes your life will seem more normal.I have been a diabetic for 9yrs my brothers and sister were all diabetic so it soon became a way off life.The time i do feel abnormal is when shopping and reading the garb's but i found more people are doing that.I changed my diet slowly and as soon as you know what spikes your blood you no longer think of it as a diet but a way of life.Good luck

hi lilia

I felt exactly as you and the others have said. Now, i actually feel sorry for the people out there who don't know about low carbing. especially diabetics but also over weight people who could easily change their lives for the better.

I was a dieter all my life , i was so good at it I did it over and over lol. then nearly 12 months ago was diagnosed t2. Just before Christmas - thanks.

My lowest ebb was when I had porridge as normal, dropped my car off at the garage went to sainsbury's for a coffee and tested my blood 2 hours after the porridge. 15.4. I cried! why me, not fair, what else is there for breakfast.

Then I had a good talk to myself, kept up with this forum, testing, recording reads and slowly dropped all the foods which caused me to go over 7.8.

Fast forward 12 months, 3.5 stone lighter, improved cholesterol, normal BP OFF bp tablets, normal HBA1c since 3 months in. The difference to the previous 'diets' is now I CANT have the 'bad' food not I SHOULDN'T have it.

Take it a day at a time, a little victory at a time and Enjoy going for your next blood tests cos you'll KNOW they will be good and it will be down to YOUR damned hard work

Mary x

Thanks lilla

I don't particularly set out to do high fat, naturally I go over my protien and fat RDA but I don't bother about that.

My typical day is

Breakfast
1 or 2 eggs
mushrooms,tomato

Lunch
Chicken salad with full fat coleslaw

Dinner
Salmon fillet cooked in foil with pat of butter, chilli flakes, parsley, lemon juice. Served with variety of veg's

tea and coffee as I want them, water or diet drinks throughout the day

Alternative dinners - chilli, curry, bolgonese, chicken casserole, stews all made from scratch and served with veg

Saturday night - I always have indian takeaway - eg 1/2 portion of chicken tikka shashlik, chiken bhuna or chicken karahi served with veg from my freezer. I might nick a bit of garlic naan off OH or half a poppadum, all washed down with a bottle of red wine (hence why I can afford to nick the bread)

It doesn't have to be boring at all, although it's a standard joke here that I will start to look like a chicken salad. it's been my staple for nearly a year now and I still love it!

Mary x

Hi Lilla

Agree with Fraddycat... that you will normally go through a kind of grieving for the 'old' you (or your 'old normal'). 10 days is probably a bit too early to negotiate the changes and start feeling normal. Your post did make me smile though... I was a bit like you when I was diagnosed (coming up for 6 months ago now) and I just wanted to fix things and 'move on'. Good news is, like others have also said, you do begin to settle into new routines eventually and to find new ways of dealing with eating out, etc. Good luck with the journey...

Neicy - loved the snow globe metaphor - very true!

Your wish to feel normal is completely natural and you will as you get into new habits. The key is to choose the right new habits and as a diabetic it must be to keep your blood levels safe. That has to be your primary aim as that will give you the best way of living a long and healthy life. Here's some straight forward advice. Get yourself a blood levels meter so you can see the effects that various foods have on your levels. Most of us do that. Next remove all of the plain sugar from your diet and very importantly at least halve the amount of starchy foods you eat so that includes rice pasta potatoes bread cereals and other flour based foods. Replace with extra meat fish eggs cheese and especially green veg. Most of all keep asking questions on this forum!

I think I lead a fairly normal life. The most abnormal, is the number of times a week, I have to step in and help my daughter with 2 small children. Childcare arrangements seem to be a bit fragile and the babies need to be cared for, whilst Mummy and Daddy are at work. I do have friends who tell me Ishould say "NO!", but Inever do.
As to food, I've just got used to it. We've been up to my brother's farm in Wales for a few days and had no bother. Welcome Break Motorway services have a *low carb* option in the Eat In eatery and we went out for lunch one day in Welshpool. We had omelette and Greek salad, which was delicious!, In a little Greek Cafe. We also had a salad in a cafe in Bala. Staff were most accommmodating and food excellent.
On another side, A neighbour of my Mother's has just been put onto insulin. He's not been keeping his numbers down and does not want to cut back on carbs. Toast for breakfast, a filled roll [or two!] for lunch and a cooked dinner without greens, but with potatoes every day. He won't eat vegetables or salad.
He asked my Mum [also diabetic] what he could eat if he cut back the carbs. this man has a degree in Chemistry! My 94 year-old Mum keeps her numbers down fairly well on 1 x 500mg metformin. She eats very small portions nowadays. She told him to eat vegetables, but he WON'T!

hanadr said:

I think I lead a fairly normal life. The most abnormal, is the number of times a week, I have to step in and help my daughter with 2 small children. Childcare arrangements seem to be a bit fragile and the babies need to be cared for, whilst Mummy and Daddy are at work. I do have friends who tell me Ishould say "NO!", but Inever do.
As to food, I've just got used to it. We've been up to my brother's farm in Wales for a few days and had no bother. Welcome Break Motorway services have a *low carb* option in the Eat In eatery and we went out for lunch one day in Welshpool. We had omelette and Greek salad, which was delicious!, In a little Greek Cafe. We also had a salad in a cafe in Bala. Staff were most accommmodating and food excellent.
On another side, A neighbour of my Mother's has just been put onto insulin. He's not been keeping his numbers down and does not want to cut back on carbs. Toast for breakfast, a filled roll [or two!] for lunch and a cooked dinner without greens, but with potatoes every day. He won't eat vegetables or salad.
He asked my Mum [also diabetic] what he could eat if he cut back the carbs. this man has a degree in Chemistry! My 94 year-old Mum keeps her numbers down fairly well on 1 x 500mg metformin. She eats very small portions nowadays. She told him to eat vegetables, but he WON'T!

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Awwww Hana, your 94 year old Mum is a brilliant incentive to us all. God Bless her! As for the neighbour with the degree in Chemistry well ... denial is strong in some people no matter what others advise them to do. I think for some people the diagnosis of diabetes seems like the end of the world but honestly, I love my food with a passion and there isn't ANYTHING I don't like apart from Marzipan (yuk). But if I can see on a meter and feel in myself that certain foods are doing me no good at all - I've no problem kicking them out because I know I can eat something else in it's place. And as you said, it really isn't all that difficult to cut out carbs and it leaves more room for the good stuff eh? :wink:

As for babysitting, I wish I had contact with my grandsons but sadly I don't. And it's so sad today that young Mums and Dads can't make ends meet without two full time wage earners and even then it's a struggle. Grandparents are NECESSARY if not VITAL and they won't be babies for long. Cherish them while you have them.

Lilla, it will get easier with time, you are already getting on with things, I am amazed, you are one hell of a strong woman :clap: :clap:

I have sent you a PM re your ebay problem

I'm going to write a book at the end of this year. My life has been so packed & eventful, good times have lead to stressful situations but that's a result of the partying etc, diabetes (type 2) has not held me back at all. I have lost 4 stone, I have good control, it slipped a bit in bad times but I know my signs (I don't have a meter but if my legs itch I have to reel it in a bit. But honestly I have stories to tell & a lot that'd make people jealous, the only way diabetes holds you back is if it becomes your only topic of conversation, nothing more off putting than that!

What is your normal life changes all the time. Are you the same person you were two years ago do you live your life the same way? Or have their been subtle changes?

Don't be too hard or strict on yourself, let it sink in.

It gets easier, though you discover how bad food labelling is. The first couple of weeks shopping takes 5 times as long.

So you have to modify your diet, look after yourself a bit better. It becomes second nature very quickly.

Not enough exercise, give yourself a chance. Hind a level your happy with.

You did the right thing, you came and made that silent scream, here where people know what that first couple of weeks of shock are like.

I agree with Mongoose ... 'normal' life does change all the time ... as Gloria Estefan sang ... 'the only one sure thing is change'.

Some changes hurt us a lot and throw us into despair, others we welcome with open arms. Some changes are gradual and barely noticable, like the odd grey hair which over a few years turns to a full head of it, a few more lines on the face that weren't there two years ago. Other changes arrive suddenly, unexpectedly and traumatically, like accidents, illness, death of loved ones, divorce etc.

I've had quite a few serious traumas in my life concerning family members and personal life events, which have literally left me reeling for years afterwards because they came in quick succession with no let up in between. My life seemed surreal for several years because so much changed in such a short period of time that my mind couldn't grasp the enormity of it all and there was a HUGE lag between the giving of the information and me receiving it and then another huge lag between me receiving and then actually being able to processing it.

My body and mind doesn't seem able to deal with shock very well at all and I literally became catatonic at one point because the shock was so overwhelming and my mind couldn't take it in. When we receive bad news, we don't actually always really 'receive' it at the time it's given. It's given to us, we appear to have received it, but what's happening really is very similar to information popping up on our PC and the firewall blocking it. And until we feel safe enough to allow it past the firewall, we don't receive it.

I do wish my pancreas hadn't changed so much over the years and started misbehaving, and I wish I wasn't diabetic ... but the fact is ... it did and I am. I put a lot down to shock and its effects and I've learned a lot from the past in that respect.

I now allow myself more time to take things in, I think of information in much the same way as a dinner plate. How much can I take at one sitting? Would I cram a huge dinner down me and expect to feel great and be able to digest it quickly? No, I wouldn't. It's exactly the same with information. I don't try and cram too much into my head. I pace myself and take it in in short, manageable chunks.

I did that with the diabetes diagnosis. Once my GP arranged for the blood tests I paced myself according to how much energy I had to actually go and have them done, and I was very, very low on energy then. I got the diagnosis, hugged the doctor, watched her mouth move, heard the words, 'Oh! You're diabetic! You'll need to start on this medication and see the DN." I took the prescription and came home. I then realised I hadn't a clue what to do next so I googled 'Diabetes forums' and up came this one.

And this is what helped it all sink in. Reading through what other newbies had written, and responses from more 'seasoned' diabetics gave me the time for my diagnosis to sink in. After a day or so online, I felt I was already getting to grips with it and to be honest, it's been a positive experience from diagnosis onwards. Before diagnosis was a sheer and utter hell of 'not-knowingness' and 'not knowing what to do because of not-knowing'.

Knowledge is definitely power when it comes to being diagnosed with diabetes. We have the power to do something about it. Which is why I moan on and on about NHS DIAGNOSTICS PARAMETERS AND SERVICES NEEDING TO BE OVERHAULED in order to detect SERIOUS CONDITIONS LIKE DIABETES AND THYROID FAR EARLIER THAN THEY'RE BEING DIAGNOSED NOW!

All those in favour - PLEASE SAY 'AYE'.

lilla said:

Hands up if anyone here leads a near as dammit life.

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Me!

lilla said:

I spend nearly every minute of the day, thinking about food, talking about food or preparing food then cooking and clearing up food, then it all starts again.

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What do you mean? Do you spend more time preparing and cooking and clearing up than you used to?

lilla said:

I worry if i have eaten a good meal

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Everyone should worry about this, diabetic or not. Those that don't are probably in bad health regardless of whether they have diabetes or not. Take a look around, it's easy to tell which people don't care about eating a good meal.

lilla said:

am i excersing enough

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Follow the guidelines for a "normal" person, if you don't do any exercise, its a bad thing regardless of you being diabetic.

lilla said:

im worried im stressing myself out with all this worrying

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Please don't. This has happened so the best thing to do is just get on with it. Soon it'll become second nature, and although you'll have your low points (we all do, diabetic or not), the best thing to do is just work through it and do your best. It's just life after all, the worst thing that can happen is we die and we'll be too dead to care about that! Enjoy life and wear a smile!

lilla said:

Does anyone just get on with life, laugh and be merry, go out for meals

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Yes!!! You can go out for meals, you can go out drinking, you can do whatever your friends do, you might just need to test your blood whilst your at it and and stab yourself a few times, it's not that big of a deal, and you can still do the things you love!

lilla said:

Does life ever feel normal again

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There is NO SUCH THING! You're life before you were diagnosed was completely different to the life of everyone else. COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! Trust me, whether diabetic or not we all live our own lives in our own way, there is no normal. You're life has changed slightly now, you'll have to monitor your body manually rather than relying on the automatic mechanism others use. But your bosy is the same thing it has always been. It still needs food, it still needs exercise, it still needs to you take care of it, diabetic or non-diabetic.


Your diagnosis might be a shock to the system, but if you look at it in the right way and accept it (its the key), then you can live you're life exactly how you want it and still manage your diabetes well.

Good luck, and remember there are millions of people in your situation, many of those available right here to help you get by