NOT COPING, NEED HELP

NIC703

Active Member
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32
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Being a diabetic
Hi all,

As I sit here I am in tears, I cant get control of my diabeties - or maybe the word is cant be bothered. I cannot do anything right for my boss - I am the only Civil Servant amongst RAF personnel and he is making my life a misery. I suffer from depression and am the strongest dose of tablets that the doctor can give me. I am over weight and just feel like giving up. The diabetic consultant at my hospital has refused to see me as I have missed appoinments and the DSN dont seem to give a hoot.

I am scared and dont know what to do.
 

sweetLea

Well-Known Member
Messages
108
I am so sorry you are going through this! Could you change your job? A big ask, I know, but I guess it might alleviate things a lot.
As for your diabetes, well, that just takes perseverance and hard graft I'm afraid. Sorry. Carb counting and getting those numbers in line is the key to this.
Please stay with us and let us help you through this. I feel for you and hope things get better soon.
 

NIC703

Active Member
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32
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Being a diabetic
Unfortunately being in the civil service means there arent many jobs around at the moment, and where I live ( a tiny village in Norfolk) means we wouild have to buy another car for me to commute daily which isnt feasible.

Why after all this time am I feeling like this ?
 
A

Anonymous

Guest
Hi Nic, since you've had D since 1985 I think you already know what you have to do. What you need is some help and some motivation. If you can't work with your current endo, could your gp refer you to someone else or perhaps give you a referral to a diabetes nurse? Sometimes the docs are only interested in your test results while a nurse might see the bigger picture. Your bs affects your mood as well and I think from your previous posts that your's high, right? If you can muster it, try to get outside and do some walking, 20-30 minutes/day is enough to start with. That kind of low-intensity exercise will lower you bs to some degree but above all make it more stable. Fresh air and the spring sun will also help lift your mood. Take some time to ponder what things you enjoy and then make the time to do those - if you're happy, you'll want to stay healthy.
Big hug!
 

claymic

Well-Known Member
Messages
503
Type of diabetes
Treatment type
Insulin
{{NIC}} it is not easy! but you are amongst good people here who are ready to support and advise. I am trying to take things day by day so that i do not get too overwhelmed by all the diabetes stuff. Now that i am testing everyday i find that being a motivation to eat carefully to not effect my BS to greatly...

hang in there!!!!
 

WhitbyJet

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Messages
1,597
Well NIC703 - if you cant let off steam here in the forum where you are amongst fellow diabetics who probably have a darn good idea of how you must be feeling it would be a very sad state of affairs.

I dont think of you as moaning, you are doing the right thing, you are trying to come to terms with this disease, you are trying to learn about it, how to manage it, you are bound to trip up here and there, so we are all trying to pull together and see you through it. Just you wait, this dark period will pass, I promise, it does get better eventually, hang in there, come here often and talk to us whenever you feel the need to.
Bottling things up is not good for any of us, we know any upset and worry has the potential of raising our bg levels, is causing stress and adds to depression and feelings of inadequacy. so dont be shy, remember talking is good.
A moaner is someone who just talks about their problems but isnt willing to do anything about solving them, you couldnt be further away from that if you tried.
If the boss is annoying you, just humour him, remember that he is only human like the rest of us, but maybe he is making a complete ass of himself by being nasty, probably a weak character. What does he know, huh?!

a BIG HUG for you.
 

the_anticarb

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Hi Nic, I too have struggled with my diabetes in the past and recently started counselling to come to terms with my diabetes and all it entails, which I never fully understood or came to terms with when diagnosed at age 15 in 1992.

It's helped enormously although I am paying for this privately it's worth the money.

Perhaps you could consider this?

Good luck
 

carty

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,379
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Tablets (oral)
Hi nic
Dont be afraid to moan on here we are good listeners and as we say in Lancashire theres nowt like a good moan :lol:
CAROL
 

noblehead

Guru
Retired Moderator
Messages
23,618
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
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Disrespectful people
NIC703 said:
The diabetic consultant at my hospital has refused to see me as I have missed appoinments and the DSN dont seem to give a hoot.


You need to get your gp to refer you back to the care of your diabetes consultant, try not to miss the appointments this time and hopefully they will be able to help you with your problems.
 

claymic

Well-Known Member
Messages
503
Type of diabetes
Treatment type
Insulin
noblehead said:
NIC703 said:
The diabetic consultant at my hospital has refused to see me as I have missed appoinments and the DSN dont seem to give a hoot.


You need to get your gp to refer you back to the care of your diabetes consultant, try not to miss the appointments this time and hopefully they will be able to help you with your problems.

I am not being seen at the hospital either because i missed alot of appointments. The problem with going to the diabetes clinic at the hospital was that i always felt like the consultant really did not care much...he would smile, say something that most time i did not understand (sorry find it hard to understand some accents) and then give me some more medication. Even during the year or so i had really good results and was suggesting some things to him, he just spoke over me. I thought we were meant to be part of our own care. so i am quite jaded about going again
 

noblehead

Guru
Retired Moderator
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claymic said:
noblehead said:
NIC703 said:
The diabetic consultant at my hospital has refused to see me as I have missed appoinments and the DSN dont seem to give a hoot.


You need to get your gp to refer you back to the care of your diabetes consultant, try not to miss the appointments this time and hopefully they will be able to help you with your problems.

I am not being seen at the hospital either because i missed alot of appointments. The problem with going to the diabetes clinic at the hospital was that i always felt like the consultant really did not care much...he would smile, say something that most time i did not understand (sorry find it hard to understand some accents) and then give me some more medication. Even during the year or so i had really good results and was suggesting some things to him, he just spoke over me. I thought we were meant to be part of our own care. so i am quite jaded about going again


My post was in reply to NIC703 and that is why I highlighted her quote.
 
Messages
17
Type of diabetes
Type 2
hi am a 53 yrs old woman and t2,i am also in a similar position,not the work thing but i am so depressed i eat anything and my brain has told me it doesn't care about the complications

my doctor has also said that she is frustrated with me cos she tells me what i should be doing(which i know) but as you can't really be bothered easier to give into the thoughts than fight when you have depression you are fighting everything just to stay alive.So there are people on here who are in the same postion on this sight and maybe we can help each other
 

tree-peony

Well-Known Member
Messages
686
Hi Chrissie,

Have you tried explaining to your GP how you feel? I think maybe it would be a good idea, but in the meantime, of course we're here to listen and help if we can.

TP
 

hanadr

Expert
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soaps on telly and people talking about the characters as if they were real.
Oh dear!
you do need some help
I don't know if Ican offer anything useful, but perhaps you could get a doctor to see you on mental health grounds. Depression is common with diabetes and if you can get on top of it, you should be able to cope so much better.
In the meantime try to cut back on the carbs you are eating. It isn't easy, but it might help your control. If you use insulin, you'll need to test often and reduce your dose. If you manage this you might feel a bit better about yourself. The trick is to go "baby steps".
I hope someone can come up with a suggestion that really hyelps.
Hana
 

ShyGirl

Well-Known Member
Messages
467
Can you not ask for a new referral and explain you are ready to follow advice now? Anything is worth a try as you clearly need support.
 

the_anticarb

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Hi
I had a GP once who got very uppity with me because I was not taking care of myself. he didn't refuse to see me, but he was just very rude and dismissive. EG I said I was struggling with hypos and his only words were 'you must be doing something wrong then'.
Well, actually he was the one doing something wrong because I eventually made a complaint against him, saw someone else who then referred me to the diabetes clinic at the hospital so I could get some proper help.
So if you are not happy with the person treating you you have the right to see someone else. If not someone else at that hospital then someone else at another hospital.
If you say you have made mistakes in the past, but want to start afresh and do it right this time, most people will want to help. Those that don't are the ones to avoid.
Good luck
 

bobismad

Well-Known Member
Messages
64
deppression is very common in diabetics, also your sugar levels are directly related to moods, speaking from experience, (I've been getting treatment for deppression for about 10 years now), I personally have felt similar to how you say you feel, and it is the hardest thing to actuallydraw a line under the past and try to start from scratch again, I had become lazy in my control and I suffered because of it, but a scare about 4 years ago gave me a wake up call I needed, and although my control is far from perfect, the process of starting afresh did the trick for me.

I started by active checking bloods every 2 hrs for 1st month during waking hours, whilst filling in a notebook as a food diary with bloods included, I was able to see what was causing highs and why I was going low, and through tweaking diet and insulin I was able to slowly get to grips with it, the swings started to get smaller, and as the underlying sugar levels came down my mood started to lift, which then helped me become more active and positive, which then created a snowball effect, as the mood lifted, the control became slightly easier to manage. BUT, AND THIS IS CRITICALLY IMPORTANT, YOU and you alone are the only one who can do it, others can help and advise, but only if YOU want to make a go of it. Put the time in for first month, but you have to be honest with yourself, if you have a choccy bar make sure you write it in your diary, and then when you look @ it at the end of the week, you will see how it affected your sugars, so if when you have another, you'll have an idea how to correct with insulin.

As far as the insulin doses went, for me, I for the 1st week took my normal doses at normal times and ate as I would normally eat, only difference was I was logging all food/sweets/****/coffee, the works, and be honest, look back afer the week ans see what bloods were in relation to food. This is the baseline, when taking correction doses of novorapid I used to over correct causing lows, which I'd again over correct , so I basically bounced from highs to hypos back to highs...... After I started this as a rule of thumb I used 1 unit of novorapid to bring down 1 full point of blood, but say my sugar was 25 and I wanted it to be ideally 7, I'd take18 units of novo, but I'd take an extra blood test in the 3 hrs following, in case the sugars dropped too rapidly, but when deciding on your correction ratio, that will be upto you to find out as everyone is different, but when correcting, never correct to a very low sugar level 4-5 is cutting it a bit too fine.

Also, if your sugars have been running high for a long period of time, you might find that your bodies hypo signs start earlier.

So week 2 is trial and error.

Week 3 is the tweaking stage, using minor adjustments to either carbs in OR insulin never both, as if you get it wrong, 1 compounds the other.

Hopefully by week 4 you should have a rough idea, of what insulin your taking for your carbs... for me it was quite easy doing the food diary as I'm a creature of habit, I eat basically the same stuff each day.

feel free to im me I'm no expert, but I've had to get a handle on it and can relate to the struggles with both the low moods and poor control.

And what works for me might not work for you, but give it a go....... :?
 

shop

Well-Known Member
Messages
665
Hi Nic,

I agree with with what the other members have said. Dont be too hard on yourself. Get the depression sorted, try and get back to see a different consultant, speak with a DSN who will listen.

Maybe I have just been lucky I had struggled with denial, controling sugars and motivation. I have lost some weight, and am doing carb counting and am seeing my DSN and the dietician regularly. I have had to review how I take my contraceptive pill as this was having a major impact on control ( hypos for 2/3 time a day every day for about a week and a half every 3 weeks, when I had a break in the pill. Couldnt adust my doses quick enough initially ) My GP who I saw initially was dismissive and said it was my poor control. My DSN disagreed and could not praise or motivate me enough. My Consultant is supportive too. Anyway I saw a different GP who has helped me sort my hormonal probs out really simply ( I am perimenopaousal ) and has refered me to get my knee sorted. ( muscle wastage )

Talking to my DSN yesterday he said that a certain number of young T1s fall beside the wayside and that surveys had been done and he could understand why. He was really sympathetic and made it clear to me that one day they would come to him for help and that he would be there!!!!! So there are some good ones out there I just hope you find one!

What I am trying to say is that I have had bit of a tough time recently and am starting to get sorted. I think you may need to either get the depression sorted or have someone to support you as you may need some resiliance right now and persevere with seeing somone at the hospital. They may be more inclined to help if they see that you are determined not to give up.

Lots of hugs and best wishes

Lucy xxxxx