Not interacting with the forum

I understand the cooking thing, it can just seem like too much effort day after day. How about picking one day when you feel okish and cooking a large batch of curry then freezing in portions. Then All you have to do is pull a portion out and reheat it with a ready made portion of cauliflower rice. Or a large cottage pie with swede mash and freeze in portions. Or buy a pack of nice ham or prawn cocktail and salad stuff….no cooking needed. Steak doesn’t take much cooking, salad is good with it. A good easy low carb meal for me is a butchers beefburger in a low carb roll with cheese, accompanied by coleslaw, minimal cooking.

Could you meet with just one friend and talk to them? Or do you have an Andy’s man club near you. A group set up for men to chat. I’m sure they would welcome you with no pressure.

Plus of course chat here, or just read with no pressure to get involved unless you want to.

IanBish said:

This isn't really shifting. I had a call with the GP today, and he gave me a couple of links, and signed me off for a week.

I know what I need to do, but can't sort of summon the courage to do it. It seems like there are so many barriers.

The one big thing for me is the waking up early, whatever time I go to bed. I don't have a problem with going to sleep, just waking up far too early. And I can't seem to go back to sleep afterwards either.

The cooking thing has pretty much gone out of the window, though I'm still trying to stick to low carb (<130g).

This working from home thing has taken its toll, I think, and I haven't connected with my friends. I'm trying to reconnect, but it doesn't always seem that easy. Shame is a big part of it, I think.

I know, when I've been with friends, that I've felt better. But it's difficult to explain your feelings to them.

Click to expand...

Reconnecting is difficult, speaking of feelings. And especially with fellow men for some reason, more so. Speaking about mental health is still taboo, while so much can be gained by openness.... But sometimes change comes slowly. All the same, a nervous system calms down a little when there are social interactions and/or being outdoors, generally... So maybe not pressure yourself too much, and just be around people or outside for a bit. You don't have to give chapter and verse if you don't feel like it'll help you, you could just go for a bit of pub time, or sit in a park with a coffee, or.... Anything. Something you feel comfortable with that doesn't feel like a mountain to climb, where you don't have to explain yourself in ways you don't feel like.

The sunrise was lovely this morning. I don't sleep well either, but that, at least, was a perk to the insomnia. I saw a pretty coloured sky, and some mist rolling over the street. No people in sight, which for me is a good thing (I do better with cats), but it did soothe my soul some just to see a pretty world, waking up slowly under my window. Take the little wins when anxiety gets too much. Shaming yourself doesn't help you whatsoever, especially if there's little to nothing to be ashamed about. Show yourself kindness, and try to find things to be grateful for in a day. Even if it's tiny, like a sunrise being rather nice, it helps a little. It doesn't solve everything overnight, but it might give a moment's relief.

Hang in there, eh.
Hugs,
Jo

IanBish said:

I had a chat with an old friend and told him what's going on. It helped a bit, but not hugely. And we're going out for a few drinks tomorrow night (probably beers!).

Click to expand...

I hope your night out tomorrow will be very enjoyable and good for your soul!

IanBish said:

Well I went out last night with my friend. It was quite busy, with lots of stag and hen dos about, but as the evening wore on, I almost felt normal - no stress or anxiety.

But today I felt quite anxious and went out by myself, and later met some acquaintances, which helped. And I got a bit tipsy.

I realise this road won't be smooth or quick, and it will tale some time to overcome, but this calms me at the moment. I think it's absolutely beautiful.

Click to expand...

pleased you've managed to get out and see friends and it's been helpful.
I find a lot of classical music calming and always listen before sleep - I listen to calm classics which is on at 10 pm for three hours every evening on Classic FM.

@ IanBish
What a beautiful music! You made my day!

Be strong because you are young. I am at the devil's age (66y) and I have 14 diagnoses that I was told I had a 5 year survival rate for. True, the first one, HCM, was in 2016 and luckily the doctor misjudged my condition because I still swim every day and walk 2.5 miles. For me, exercise helped me get out of a bad mood, walking to the gym every day to swim, that's 1.25 miles, and then walking home the same distance. In the gym, in the swimming pool and in the sauna, there are great people - not really friends, but great companion; we talk and laugh a lot. Some of them diabetic, like me, and we exchange our experiences. I simply don't have free time and energy to be in a bad mood. I also suggest you take a walk with your girlfriend every day, or just go to the park and watch the birds and squirrels. And diabetes doesn't like beer - rely on friends more than alcohol.