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Numbers down how to deal with relatives

W

W&D's Nana

Active Member
Messages
30
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Diet only
I've been low carbing since November 2022 (diagnosed Oct 2022) and have reduced my numbers to a pre diabetes level. No medication for the past month and the diabetes clinic is so pleased they have discharged me from their care and handed me over to my family doctor.

A big thanks to all on this forum that give such wonderful advice! Dietician had advised basically following the same diet a the Eatwell Plate but thanks to all of you I ignored that. Also resisted going on statins as my cholesterol is good and you gave me the confidence to say no thank you. They want everyone over 40 with diabetes on a statin as a matter of course (which doesn't seem like a good enough reason).

Sharing the good news with my family resulted in exclamations of "Great - now you can start to eat normally. Your diet was too restrictive!" Any suggestions on how to respond?

Just wanted to add that for the first time in over 50 years I haven't been hungry and I am now a healthy weight.
 
Well done on your results! You’ve done amazing

As to your family, you know them best and how to handle them, I’m lucky that no one comments on how I eat. You could just not respond at all or go down the route of no it’s not a diet it’s a lifestyle and I am eating normally for me then have a big hunk of cheese and a big bowl of melted 90% chocolate mixed into whipped cream whilst they look on with envy
 
First off, multi congratulations on your achievement - you rock!

Second of all, there is a strange psychology with many people who try to sabotage actions that we take for our own good health e.g. giving up smoking, dieting for weight loss, stopping or cutting down on drinking, etc. ad. inf. and some of this spills over onto those of us who restrict our carbs. I could easily find it irritating, but my stock reply is that I will always be diabetic but by eating the way I do I can keep it under control. Would that work for your friends and relations?
 
Provided it's true, my response, in your shoes would be that my results showed the new way of eating was suiting me well, and that I felt well on it. On that basis,I'll carry on.

If they persist, I'd just throw away that my old way of eating contributed to my diagnosis, so, for now, I'll stick as I am.

Before you know it your new lifestyle is just you, and it becomes a non-topic.

Well done on your results. Keep up the great work!
 
Well done! but isn't it wonderful how people have to accept that your bgs are under control and your weight has fallen, but still think it's time to ditch that "awful unhealthy fatty diet"?

I have friends who have extreme difficulty accepting that while what I do is direcly contrary to the official NHS advice, I've done very well by doing so. I think they expect me explode in flames at some point, I don't really know.

My line is to ask why I'd go back to eating the way that made me sick in the first place?
 
I am lucky that most of my friends accept my remaining low carb.

The one friend who apparently understood low carb first and supported me by providing low carb food when I visited but suddenly stopped. I was used to taking food with me or missing a meal in many environments, but her change took me by surprise. Her reason? A GP at her surgery had gone low carb and took up running when he found he was low carb, once in remission he carried on running every day but started eating more carbs - therefore I could too. Luckily no one else thinks like this among my friends.
I'm happy to explain why I'm low carb, but not argue.
.
 
I think we need to be aware of the lack of knowledge about managing diabetes and when friends and family make comments such as "you can eat normally now" or "your diet is too restrictive" are make these comments from a position of ignorance and caring. Taking out your frustration of the media and healthcare knowledge on these people who care for you is misdirected.
Please remember these comments are made for good reason not to undermine your approach.

As for whether high carb diets caused your diabetes. Please also remember that it is the combination of the high carbs and your body. Others can eat the same/similar diet without getting diabetes. And blaming it on your previous diet alone is shaming those who are not prone to diabetes but follow the same diet.

In other words, be kind to the people who are trying to be kind to you. It is not their fault that media has fed them the wrong line.

And congratulations @W&D's Nana for your amazing achievement.)
 
It's weird, isn't it? My mom is the opposite, she's started gently querying if I have managed to continue low carbing, since we haven't seen each other in person since this summer, when I managed to low carb very successfully even when on holiday in Paris. Her concern is not without foundation, as I fell off the low carb wagon and regained all the weight I lost for several years during the pandemic. I guess her willingness to accomodate me, which she's done in moderation all my life (I was a very picky child!) has amped up after the loss of my sister.
 
Amazing achievement, well done! I have lost weight on low carb but not getting my numbers down. I would be interested to hear what your daily diet consists of. As for family my mum doesn't understand and I have to just say, this way of eating works for me. If I eat the stuff you cook I will be very unwell. Thats usually enough!
 
“Well seeing as the old way of eating made me sicker and the new way made me healthier, I’ll stick with the new way as I don’t want to go back to diabetic levels thanks.
 
I would acknowledge they probably mean well, but reiterate this is a lifestyle change. You quit it and the problems come back. You’d appreciate their help and you can give examples - like having family over for dinner? Perhaps they could always make sure there is lots of green veg. Serving drinks? If I say no, don’t give me more.

Funnily enough I have the opposite with my family they see me eating a biscuit and tell me it’s bad for me. I believe they think I eat like that regularly, which is not true as I don’t even buy biscuits! I just eat them socially sometimes, but they never see that. They mean well, but it is slightly annoying to be mildly scolded about a disease you know more than them about.

Unfortunately people will never know as much as you do about your condition.
 
My day starts off with a bowl of homemade grain free, sugar free granola with almond milk and a cup of tea with cream. I had tried eating full fat
Greek yogurt for about a month when I realized I hated it even with a few raspberries mixed in so stopped. Before I was diagnosed I would only drink tea when I was ill and always with milk and sugar. Now I drink at least two cups of tea a day but of course without sugar.

Lunch will be a bit of meat and cheese or some eggs and bacon, a few raspberries or strawberries and then a homemade cookie (no sugar and made with almond flour). Perhaps some chicken broth.

Supper is meat again and some vegetables. Depending on what I have on hand either cauliflower, spinach, mushrooms or cucumbers. I love roasted cauliflower or mashed cauliflower but found I am not a fan of cauliflower rice.

Snacks (which I cant seem to give up) are usually some cheese or a variety if nuts or two squares of 85% chocolate.

I make keto bread in my bread maker or keto buns in the oven. I bake a lot of cookies (biscuits) and muffins using a sugar substitute and almond flour or coconut flour. This way I don't feel deprived although I do miss my daily large glass of orange juice.
 
A blank look and "But this IS normal."
 
 
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