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oh my god. I'm really struggling to keep it together

serenity 24

Member
Messages
18
Location
Cheshire
Type of diabetes
Parent
Treatment type
Insulin
Last post daughterstarted new job and was made to feel like she shouldn't inject etc. That was sorted she has complex needs,depression,chronic fatigue, type 1 everyday is a struggle ,self doubt and can't find her way in life. She started an apprenticeship in an area she wants 8 weeks ago but now feels like it's not for her. This is the 6th job approximately since she was 16 and diagnosed. That she has bailed on. I am at the end of how to help and advise. I feel like I am about to fall off a cliff and not find my way back. The guilt I feel at being frustrated with her is immense. I want to scream and shout and tell Dr that life is tough and non of us work in a job we love but it pays the bills. Yes there maybe some out there that are lucky. But generally we just work and get paid. I don't know what to do. She once again wants to leave the job. But terrible to say I have seen the signs the last three weeks. Now she is saying it is causing a breakdown. Who am I to judge. I just can't take much more. You may think I am unsympathetic but I'm not but I can't do anymore. I love her but wonder if she plays me
 
What specifically is is that she is having an issue with?

the job?

just being able to get a through a day without being tired or high/low blood sugar levels?

working that out might help tackle the issue......

how old is she now.....?
 
novorapidboi26 said:
What specifically is is that she is having an issue with?

the job?

just being able to get a through a day without being tired or high/low blood sugar levels?

working that out might help tackle the issue......

how old is she now.....?
Click to expand...
She is 22 has been diagnosed since 16. Self harms when she is in situation that she doesn't cope with. Is under counselling for CBT an DBT depending. Her control is quite good at the moment. A bit of an issue with hypo a couple of times a week. She is very creative. Writes ,draws and wants to do media. The apprenticeship is PR,Communications,media. Which is what she wanted but 8 weeks in and she struggles to just go in and do the admin stuff. I don't think she knows what she wants herself. She feels a failure cause she can't settle on a job. Before she applied she was xxx signed on the sick as she attempted suicide in November. I said she wasn't ready but she has this need to do something high end. I have told her it doesn't matte tree what she does as long as she is happy but she just pushes herself. And I don't know why x
 

Six jobs in six years may sound like a lot, but really at a young age when someone is trying to find the right track it's not that bad. 22 would be a good age to settle on something though so perhaps she would benefit from some career counselling?. It's am excellent ambition to want to find a job that you love - and particualry if your daughter is creative she would benefit from finding something that fits and sparks her imagination. Perhaps the apprenticeship isn't everything she hoped for but it will no doubt be a useful learning experience and probably worth sticking with. It sounds as though she needs a little guidance though - hopefully if she can visualise a longer term objective she will feel more in control and able to deal with day to day niggles and keep them in perspective.
 
I know and I have tried to explain that to her that the apprenticeship is a means to an end. Only 18 months but to her its seems like forever. She is very bright and intelligent but also impatient for success. The worry is she feels she isn't normal as she can't just settle. I have said it takes time sometimes,buht I am too close to her so obviously emotions get in the way.
 
It's tough - expectations can be set so high and yet reality can be very different. Eight weeks is very little time and it's understandable that she might feel jittery. Perhaps if she really is getting ready to leave, reason with her to put a limit of at least six months on the apprenticeship before making a decision. By then she could feel very different, and opportunities can come along at any time - it's just a case of being open to them.
 
I think that's a good idea, from Bebo, to try and get her to delay making a decision to leave. Your daughter sounds very much like my friend's daughter, who is the same age. She has a history of self harm and suicidal thinking and behaviour, and not sticking at jobs. Really, the mental illness is the most important issue for her. She needs to just settle down and work on getting treatment then taking baby steps with part time low-stress work, with the goal of staying in the job for more than 5 minutes. Perhaps something similar could work for your daughter.

I can really empathise with how you are feeling, as I have watched my friend struggle, watching her daughter go through cycles of starting a job, finding it is too much for her, quitting, getting depressed, then doing it all again. It must be so draining for you. I wonder if some sort of counselling would be helpful for you. As hard as it sounds, your daughter may need to learn the hard way that we just have to get on and work and stick at it. Maybe not in this job but in whatever job she takes on.
 
any chance of getting your daughter to come to the forum and engage direct ?

In this modern age i can really feel for her as jobs and careers are so pushed at school she must feel the pressure to succeed and maybe has not found her niche yet.

the daily living with D can be immense and some of us do go off the rails and not cope so well -- so I am not surprised your daughter struggles
the most important things in life are health and happiness so perhaps she just needs some more time to figure out her path
 
My son was 18months old when he was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. It was a huge shock, but then we found out that both of my husbands Grandparents were diabetics also his cousin when 3yrs old was diagnosed with Type 1.
My son is now 17 coming up for 18 and I have struggled all these years with no counselling for myself with the emotional turmoil that my son puts me through. He can be verbally agressive and has self harmed in the past. He did have couselling but she didnt help matters. She was a bit of a fruit cake which made matters worse for my son.
I have been to breaking point several times where ive had to put myself in the car and just drive. Pull over and cry and destress before I head back home.
My son in on the omnipod which has been the best one so far, but he keeps putting his pod in the same place too often and now he has lumps. He doesnt like putting it on his tummy as he doesnt have an ounce of fat on in.
My worries at the minute is he says he has tested but hasnt really and doesnt give his insulin when he should especially after eating.
Im at my wits end.
Im border line diabetic but controlling with diet alone. I have lost 3 stone so far and want to lose 2 more.
 
It's hard going but the people on here are a great comfort
 
Just an update guys. Things are settling she is still working and has been put on iron tablets, vitamin d and folic acid as very anaemia due to recent coeliac diagnoses. But is feeling a lot better presently. Can I just say thanks for all your support
 
It's been a while. Just updating. I can't believe I haven't been on for so long. Daughter is now coming up to her 26th birthday. Not had she come a long way . Stayed in the job that I posted about is now fully fledged comms officer so proud of her for sticking with it. Lots of ups and downs on the way. She is now on the omnipod made such a difference. Still gets occasional hypo but good control generally. The chronic fatigue she was diagnosed with us flaring flaring at the moment so she has just been signed off for a few weeks to rest. Still struggles to accept her conditions but better than she was
 
You said something in a post the word normal, six letters but if you have all these problems nothing is normal. I got diabetes and do not know what normal is but i know what i diabetic is insulin, needles, bg checks, carb counting, watching what you eat and drink, other risks of diabetes and that just a few thing this was from the age of 3 years old. Your daughter is at a stage where i think they need more support, to me from the age of 14 till 28 there needs to be more done between theses ages so much happens in your life. Your body, social life and many other thing change, you go to the adult consultant at 18 now to me children need help before that just look at your own lives to see. I am 42 and did not dare have a drink till i was 17 but now it has become the norm at 14 to be drinking. Your daughter has diabetes and mental health problems and i have them to, i have thought about taking my own life and if it was not for my 2 children i would have done it. At the moment i have hit rock bottom i spend all day in bed, don not want to talk to anyone, have know interest in anything ans this is because a consultant changed my tablets. The new tablets laid me up in bed until i had to go to hospital, so i came off the tablets but then my mood was going downhill so 2 days ago i went back on one of the tablets and am feeling better. Your daughter is caught in a web and the more she gets out of it then something drags her back in, Diabetes is a cruel disease that can take so much of all the people who are caring for one as well as the person who has it but the help we need is not there as the NHS can not cope with the demand now and no new money we have to be thankful for sites like this.
 
Well done for persevering. Maybe your daughter saw your strength and has followed suit. Probables.
Well done.

The things we do for our kids! Even the none diabetic ones can have their own health challenges which needs our support.
Shame my parents weren't as attentive. Your daughter is lucky to have a good parent. A firm support at home makes a huge difference. You'll see.
 
Hi .My heart goes out to anyone dealing with health issues. I agree that more support should be given in particular from 14 to 28/30 age group and beyond probably the preconceptions seem to be once diagnosed and shown how to take insulin, the risk of hypo etc is covered that you will be fine. My cousins son was diagnosed same time as my daughter but unfortunately he never accepted the risks not taking insulin correctly because he wanted to just be one of the lads. Sadly he died at 25 through slipping into a diabetic coma his mum found him a day later at his flat. This was her biggest fear and i have to say it's in the back of my mind constantly. For more reasons than the diabetic one, mental health is a massive impact too. My daughter also has coeliac disease so finds this a big challenge along side the diabetes and chronic fatique. But she continues to amaze me with her strength at times . Recently had to be admitted to hospital after a sickness but which needed up causing acute kidney infection and consequently sepsis. Luckily she is over this. But I think that is why her chronic fatigue has flared up. I want to send everyone who deals with type 1 and any other autoimmune related disease the biggest hug i possibly could
 
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