Hi. I popped on here to ask a question (which I will get to) but read your post. Hope that the following is in some small way helpful.
My daughter was diagnosed with Type 1 about 9 months ago. She was 18 in May this year.
Everything you say resonates with our experience. She is coping better now but the first few months were, to be honest, a nightmare. So here is a brief summary of our experience, and some thoughts about approach / management. We are all different but hopefully something here might be helpful.
1. Biggest issue for my daughter was the timing - coming up to 18, looking forward to freedom, drinking legally (sorry, but that is the way it is) and just having a good time with her friends. Just being "normal". She has often said that she would have preferred to have been diagnosed when she was, say, 7. She talks about her "old" life, which she wants back. And no, we don't understand what she is going through.
2. Mood - has become very low and depressed at times. Moods swing rapidly and sometimes she seems like a different person -angry at times, and unpredictable. Went completely into her shell for the first 3 months or so.
3. Diabetes Management. She is particularly chaotic and disorganised since her diagnosis. (Her bedroom is a source of frequent arguments). Times when she either forgets or deliberately refuses to take her insulin, which it seems is not uncommon in the early stages. Management has improved gradually, but still times when frustration takes over. She gets stressed easily and this sends her levels through the roof.
So,to what has helped:
- The diabetic nurses have been by far the most important part of her management regime. Good if a relationship of some sort can be formed here. My daughter says that she sometimes finds it easier to talk to someone she doesn't really know
- Depending on where you live, some Health authorities do offer counselling services. We have had to persuade a neighbouring Authority to see her, and very helpful if the person concerned wants to receive this help.
- Friends are hugely important. They need to understand what diabetes means and how to keep an eye out for danger signals. We spoke to some of them separately and it has worked wonders. My daughter has gained something from occasionally testing us and her friends for blood glucose levels - makes it seem more normal for her.
- You need to develop very deep reserves of patience - not my strongest suit normally. Sometimes there is no point in trying to push for a conversation if it is not wanted. And sometimes there is no point in getting frustrated about their mood, behaviour or language. We have found that my daughter strongly favours one parent over the other when she needs and is receptive to a discussion. In this case her dad rather than her mum, which is not what we would have expected.
- Encouragement and patience aside, the most important thing is to get the condition under control as soon as possible - massively challenging in the early stages. But when you get a period of stable levels somewhere around normal, you will see a different person. This has been the trickiest part of the process - how to monitor without sounding like you are nagging. Be careful about the mornings! Levels will be all over the place at first, and very frustrating when they are doing everything right but still feel dreadful. Encourage, encourage, encourage.
- Finding someone else who has diabetes can be very helpful, but my daughter, for some reason, is reluctant to use chat rooms and forums like this one. Strange, because she is obsessed with social media more generally.
- Finally, use the resources on this and other excellent web-sites to check if you are unsure. Eyesight issues, stomach pains and other symptoms are not uncommon and not necessarily a sign of a more serious problem.
I will not tell you not to worry, because I still worry myself sick sometimes. My wife tells me that I worry too much, but that's how it is for me. I would however encourage you to keep up the support you are giving your son - he will thank you for it - and be assured that the situation will, gradually, improve. You will find out what works best for you.
The early stages of what you and your son are going though are very, very difficult. Nothing in my life prepared me for those dreadful first few weeks.
But it will get better, despite many ups and downs along the way.
Hope this is helpful.
Kevin
