hi my name is sharon i am a mother of an 18 yr old type 1 diabetic son he has had diabetes for 9 years now an almost always been poorly controlled ,but over the last 3 years has gotten worse , not takin insulin eatin and drinkin sweet things , he has been in hospital for dka a total of 39 times in the last 2 an a half years am at my wits end as kno i can do nothin ta help him an he doesnt seem to listen to no one as to wat he is doin to himself an that hes slowly killin himself from the inside , it is also killin me watchin it time ane time again i hav tried with doctors , phychiatrists ta see him but not got anywhere would appreciate sum advice if anyone has it as hes been told if he carrys this on he wont see his 27th birthday , i just dont kno wat to do anymore apart from worry and break my heart every time he goes into hospital , can anyone help plz
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PLEASE HELP DESPERATE
- Thread starter shaz73
- Start Date
Jen&Khaleb
Well-Known Member
Feel for you... 
Would you think he needs to just get this out of his system and then he can move on. Your story is not uncommon by any means and it seems that many teenagers do the same as what you have described. I hope he has a good doctor he can talk to and continues to make regular visits even if he isn't managing well. The only teenagers I've met who have got past this stage have told me that their parents were terrified but stayed out of the way and let them find their way. Hard to do and I can just imagine your worry. Keep positive!
Would you think he needs to just get this out of his system and then he can move on. Your story is not uncommon by any means and it seems that many teenagers do the same as what you have described. I hope he has a good doctor he can talk to and continues to make regular visits even if he isn't managing well. The only teenagers I've met who have got past this stage have told me that their parents were terrified but stayed out of the way and let them find their way. Hard to do and I can just imagine your worry. Keep positive!
thank u for ure reply , he has been like this for the past 3 years now but nev has been really well controlled ,as for a doctor he hasnt been attendin his diabetes clinic since last year an nev really goes ta see a doctor unless really neccesary , i am suprised there is no support wat so ever in place for this sorta situation with teenagers , my son just keeps doin the same over and over again an no one tries ta do anything i cant watch him die slowly its killin me
WhitbyJet
Well-Known Member
Hi Shaz, my heart goes out to you, of course you worry yourself crazy.
I am type 2, so not much use to you, I hope you dont mind sticking my oar in, but from reading your posts it looks as if your son is feeling just as helpless as you are, he seems to be depressed?
Can you ask him to sit down with you and talk things over, ask him why he finds it so hard to accept his diabetes, ask what help he thinks that he needs to manage his diabetes, offer to work with him as a team, kind of support each other. Admit to him that you are feeling helpless, you worry about his well being, because you are his Mum and you love him, assure him that you dont want to sound as if you are nagging, on his case all the time.
He might be really, really scared you know, avoiding the issue will help him stay in the denial phase.
Thing is that he can eat sweet things, but the right sort of sweet things, show him the Chocolate Paradise thread, I know a few non-diabetic teens who adore some of the chocolate recipes, the Bounty is most popular, so are the truffles.
There are cakes in that thread, also in the low carb recipe thread. Experiment with food, dont single him out, some of these recipes can be enjoyed by the whole family, I am thinking of the pizza recipe, the chicken nuggets, the cashew chilli coated chicken fillets, all foods teens tend to like, you two could experiment together, cook and bake together, become a team, both of you lose the fear of diabetes, gang up on it and beat that beast together.
I mean what you have done so far has not worked with him, so its time to try a new approach? I can well imagine that its not easy, but little steps in the right direction will lead to bigger ones.
Introduce him to this forum, there is a section for young people, me might want to chat to someone who knows exactly what he is going through, someone a bit more his age group.
A big, big hug to both of you, I hope you can work out something so that you both can be happier and healthy x x
I am type 2, so not much use to you, I hope you dont mind sticking my oar in, but from reading your posts it looks as if your son is feeling just as helpless as you are, he seems to be depressed?
Can you ask him to sit down with you and talk things over, ask him why he finds it so hard to accept his diabetes, ask what help he thinks that he needs to manage his diabetes, offer to work with him as a team, kind of support each other. Admit to him that you are feeling helpless, you worry about his well being, because you are his Mum and you love him, assure him that you dont want to sound as if you are nagging, on his case all the time.
He might be really, really scared you know, avoiding the issue will help him stay in the denial phase.
Thing is that he can eat sweet things, but the right sort of sweet things, show him the Chocolate Paradise thread, I know a few non-diabetic teens who adore some of the chocolate recipes, the Bounty is most popular, so are the truffles.
There are cakes in that thread, also in the low carb recipe thread. Experiment with food, dont single him out, some of these recipes can be enjoyed by the whole family, I am thinking of the pizza recipe, the chicken nuggets, the cashew chilli coated chicken fillets, all foods teens tend to like, you two could experiment together, cook and bake together, become a team, both of you lose the fear of diabetes, gang up on it and beat that beast together.
I mean what you have done so far has not worked with him, so its time to try a new approach? I can well imagine that its not easy, but little steps in the right direction will lead to bigger ones.
Introduce him to this forum, there is a section for young people, me might want to chat to someone who knows exactly what he is going through, someone a bit more his age group.
A big, big hug to both of you, I hope you can work out something so that you both can be happier and healthy x x
Jen&Khaleb
Well-Known Member
I am in Australia and a couple of the DE here that run the camps have introduced a transition clinic to make things better going straight from kids clinic to adult clinic. It has only just begun but I can see it will be a great success. Maybe this is something more clinics should take on as teenagers are a whole different alien race.
I hope your son can talk to you and even if he lets you take on some of the responibility when he is with you as I imagine he is just sick of the relentless nature of blood sugar testing, injections, highs and lows.
Can't put an old head on young shoulders.
I hope your son can talk to you and even if he lets you take on some of the responibility when he is with you as I imagine he is just sick of the relentless nature of blood sugar testing, injections, highs and lows.
Can't put an old head on young shoulders.
Hi Sharon,
I'm sorry to hear about your situation, it sounds unbarable for you. From what you say, it sounds like you son needs to be referred to a psychologist via the diabetes clinic, and soon! If not via the diabetes clinic, you could maybe see if he will go to the GP with you, and get a referral to a therpist through that route? However, from what you say, it sounds like he isn't going to listen to being told what to do. does he still live with you?
I have type 1 diabetes and am now 26. I am in more control of my diabetes now, but through my teenage years was much less so. When you are a teenager, you just want to be the same as everybody else, eat the same as everyone else and do the same. Maybe it will help to try small steps with your son. perhaps just pursuading him to take his insulin to start with, and not go on about what he is eating? Just from my experience, when I was that age I ate and did what I wanted, and no one could tell me otherwise. I would never have been pursuaded to count carbs etc! However, I did take my insulin. I think getting him to change his diet dramatically will make him stand out from the crowd (or at least feel like it), but you can take your insulin on the sly, with people not noticing. I lived a crazy life without ever being hospitalised, so there is some hope! i think at the stage your son seems to be, any changes, no matter however small will make a difference to his health. When you get older, your priorities change and he will pull through and decide to make some changes.
hope that makes sense!
Amy
I'm sorry to hear about your situation, it sounds unbarable for you. From what you say, it sounds like you son needs to be referred to a psychologist via the diabetes clinic, and soon! If not via the diabetes clinic, you could maybe see if he will go to the GP with you, and get a referral to a therpist through that route? However, from what you say, it sounds like he isn't going to listen to being told what to do. does he still live with you?
I have type 1 diabetes and am now 26. I am in more control of my diabetes now, but through my teenage years was much less so. When you are a teenager, you just want to be the same as everybody else, eat the same as everyone else and do the same. Maybe it will help to try small steps with your son. perhaps just pursuading him to take his insulin to start with, and not go on about what he is eating? Just from my experience, when I was that age I ate and did what I wanted, and no one could tell me otherwise. I would never have been pursuaded to count carbs etc! However, I did take my insulin. I think getting him to change his diet dramatically will make him stand out from the crowd (or at least feel like it), but you can take your insulin on the sly, with people not noticing. I lived a crazy life without ever being hospitalised, so there is some hope! i think at the stage your son seems to be, any changes, no matter however small will make a difference to his health. When you get older, your priorities change and he will pull through and decide to make some changes.
hope that makes sense!
Amy
Hi Sharon, I really feel for you - must be awful to feel so helpless. What is his social group like, any others with T1 in that group that could perhaps help support him? Maybe his best-friend may like to help, and learn up on T1 Diabetes, Insulin, and perhaps "be his gentle reminder" to test and inject etc.
Whilst considerably older than your son, something that I found a problem treating mine was the almost "unknown" or guesswork into identifying carbs versus blood glucose levels.
I cannot recommend enough the Insight course, and every fellow attendee (2 were pensioners!) said that this helped identify logic to their insulin usage and they'd only wished this had been done when they were first diagnosed (some 60 years earlier), identifying insulin needs based upon carb intake. I think my own management now has some order, where they teach you to "think like a pancreas". Perhaps your son feels whatever he does it makes no difference, perhaps the logic that could be taught may aid that.
Perhaps being proposed for an insulin pump - continuous subcutaneous insulin infusion (CSII) - may also help him. But the identifying exactly what you're eating having a direct input on how much insulin you need to inject is paramount. e.g. what your insulin need is per 10g carb, or if your blood sugar is high, how many units of insulin needed to lower by 1 mmol etc. Its effort, but once there is some logic, it is so much simpler :crazy:
My final thought, what about some form of hypnosis to refocus his attention to his own health.
I hope these thoughts help.
Richard
Whilst considerably older than your son, something that I found a problem treating mine was the almost "unknown" or guesswork into identifying carbs versus blood glucose levels.
I cannot recommend enough the Insight course, and every fellow attendee (2 were pensioners!) said that this helped identify logic to their insulin usage and they'd only wished this had been done when they were first diagnosed (some 60 years earlier), identifying insulin needs based upon carb intake. I think my own management now has some order, where they teach you to "think like a pancreas". Perhaps your son feels whatever he does it makes no difference, perhaps the logic that could be taught may aid that.
Perhaps being proposed for an insulin pump - continuous subcutaneous insulin infusion (CSII) - may also help him. But the identifying exactly what you're eating having a direct input on how much insulin you need to inject is paramount. e.g. what your insulin need is per 10g carb, or if your blood sugar is high, how many units of insulin needed to lower by 1 mmol etc. Its effort, but once there is some logic, it is so much simpler :crazy:
My final thought, what about some form of hypnosis to refocus his attention to his own health.
I hope these thoughts help.
Richard
michellehayward
Member
hi, i have been type 1 for 28 years and also was like your son as a teenager, i just didnt feel in control and i rebelled. i know a lot of people who did the same but all stopped and got control. he will outgrow this phase and take control, its just something that we all do. just reassure him and hopefully it wont be too long before he agrees with you. my parents went through it too and i am sure they felt as you do, but i kept on rebelling as i felt they were telling me what to do. i found that i have no long term effects from it and now have 3 lovely children and semi good control. hope this helps.
