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Please help me, help my partner
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<blockquote data-quote="Deespee23" data-source="post: 1392305" data-attributes="member: 277971"><p>Difficult one, this. Without knowing your (as a couple) personal circumstances, it could be that your OH is trying to establish the fact that he is the one in control of his situation - even if that "control" only amounts to doing nothing. Does he feel railroaded? If you feel that you have little control over what is happening to you, it easy to develop a "F*ck It" mentality. Certainly, as so many others on here have observed, because there are no immediately apparent indications of the damage that is occurring, it is easy to become complacent.</p><p></p><p>I suppose all you can do is "keep on keeping on", but I know that is scant consolation for the stress and worry created by your position. And as Kevin FG has pointed out above, ultimately it is down to him. You must also look after your own health - I like the idea of making him go out to buy his own junk and only having "good stuff" in the house. The thing not to lose sight of is the fact that it is not just about your partner - it is about you as well. So look after youself and you have sorted 50% of the problem already.</p><p></p><p>Don't forget, there will always be someone to talk to on here when you need a bit of support.</p><p></p><p>PS - you are not a "control freak" - just someone who cares.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Deespee23, post: 1392305, member: 277971"] Difficult one, this. Without knowing your (as a couple) personal circumstances, it could be that your OH is trying to establish the fact that he is the one in control of his situation - even if that "control" only amounts to doing nothing. Does he feel railroaded? If you feel that you have little control over what is happening to you, it easy to develop a "F*ck It" mentality. Certainly, as so many others on here have observed, because there are no immediately apparent indications of the damage that is occurring, it is easy to become complacent. I suppose all you can do is "keep on keeping on", but I know that is scant consolation for the stress and worry created by your position. And as Kevin FG has pointed out above, ultimately it is down to him. You must also look after your own health - I like the idea of making him go out to buy his own junk and only having "good stuff" in the house. The thing not to lose sight of is the fact that it is not just about your partner - it is about you as well. So look after youself and you have sorted 50% of the problem already. Don't forget, there will always be someone to talk to on here when you need a bit of support. PS - you are not a "control freak" - just someone who cares. [/QUOTE]
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