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<blockquote data-quote="VashtiB" data-source="post: 2371487" data-attributes="member: 511345"><p>hello and welcome,</p><p></p><p>I can echo what previous people have said- first of all you did not cause the stroke. She had the stroke. The second issue is her recovery from the stroke- that is seperate from the stroke. The recovery may or may not have been better if you called the ambulance earlier. Unfortunately that is something no one can know for sure. Some people don't recover well even if an ambulance is called straight away. I also agree that unless you are a medical professional the decision on when to call an ambulance at any stage is difficult. I suspect even a medical professional would find it hard for family. So you will never know. Having said that I understand why you are beating yourself up but I think you need to get some help for yourself. It doesn't sound like you have a lot of support. The reality is that you made the best decision you could at the time. We can't ever go back and see what would have happened if we made different decisions. </p><p></p><p>Second I think your mother is very lucky to have you care for her. Being a carer is really difficult at the best of times and it has not been the best of times for a long while now.</p><p></p><p>In relation to the diabetes again you didn't cause it- some can eat whatever they like and never develop diabetes. Secondly she could have shared with you the knowledge that her father had diabetes and she could have looked in to it- it isn't all on you. Thirdly- I get not liking a low carb diet. I don't particularly like it- but again she is making the decision not to eat the food.</p><p></p><p>I agree with everyone else- you need to get some support for yourself. It is difficult not to blame yourself for everything but with some help and support you may find it easier to put it into perspective. As I said your mother is fortunate that you are willing to care for her but for her sake as well as your own you need some support.</p><p></p><p>Virtual hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="VashtiB, post: 2371487, member: 511345"] hello and welcome, I can echo what previous people have said- first of all you did not cause the stroke. She had the stroke. The second issue is her recovery from the stroke- that is seperate from the stroke. The recovery may or may not have been better if you called the ambulance earlier. Unfortunately that is something no one can know for sure. Some people don't recover well even if an ambulance is called straight away. I also agree that unless you are a medical professional the decision on when to call an ambulance at any stage is difficult. I suspect even a medical professional would find it hard for family. So you will never know. Having said that I understand why you are beating yourself up but I think you need to get some help for yourself. It doesn't sound like you have a lot of support. The reality is that you made the best decision you could at the time. We can't ever go back and see what would have happened if we made different decisions. Second I think your mother is very lucky to have you care for her. Being a carer is really difficult at the best of times and it has not been the best of times for a long while now. In relation to the diabetes again you didn't cause it- some can eat whatever they like and never develop diabetes. Secondly she could have shared with you the knowledge that her father had diabetes and she could have looked in to it- it isn't all on you. Thirdly- I get not liking a low carb diet. I don't particularly like it- but again she is making the decision not to eat the food. I agree with everyone else- you need to get some support for yourself. It is difficult not to blame yourself for everything but with some help and support you may find it easier to put it into perspective. As I said your mother is fortunate that you are willing to care for her but for her sake as well as your own you need some support. Virtual hugs. [/QUOTE]
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