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Reactions to diabetes...

casspetrick

Member
Messages
5
Location
Toronto, ON
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
Hi everyone! I recently told a new coworker that I have diabetes and was kind of rubbed the wrong way by their reaction. When I told this person their reaction was something like "Ohhhh noooo, I'm so sorry!!" as if it was something to be pitied. I am someone who is very open and proud of my life with diabetes and this unabashed sorrow for my illness sort of surprised me. Most people are generally neutral when I tell them so I was taken aback by this and left feeling I had to reassure them that I am healthy etc. This experience made me curious how other individuals are received when they break the news??
 
Where I work there are a high proportion of diabetics so that its just seen as 'one of those things'. In my private life I do get some of the 'how sad' reaction but mostly from older people who still have the view that its an uncontrollable killer.
 
I think people often bring past experiences into conversations like that.

If your coworker saw a friend or relative die of horrendous diabetic complications (amputations, blindness, kidney failure, endless dialysis, charcot foot...) then they may automatically assume that those things are in your future too. We get people turning up on the forum who watched a parent or grandparent experience this, and their first reaction on diagnosis is plain terror that they will inevitably have to endure the same.

Fortunately, we have the opportunity for better control and better treatment than at any time in the history of medicine - but these people may not realise it.
 
Hi. Yes, Brunneria is right. I take the opportunity to educate friends etc without boring them. It's not their fault if their knowledge is scant or dated.
 
I would probably say "Oh no, I'm so sorry to someone too" I know diabetes isn't a death sentence anymore, but it can be damned inconvenient at times and I would rather anyone I knew didn't have it.
 
My husband's best friend died aged 40 of diabetic complications. He had the lot, severe neuropathy, poor eyesight, and failed kidneys requiring a transplant with years of dialysis beforehand. He had been T1 since the age of 9. That was about 30 years ago. When I was diagnosed with T2 all that went through my mind was this. It remains a large part of my own motivation to keep this condition well under control.
I am very open about my diabetes. I've never withheld it from anyone, and normally get the usual "you poor thing, no more cakes" followed by "eat it, one won't hurt"
 
Bluetit1802 said:
I am very open about my diabetes. I've never withheld it from anyone, and normally get the usual "you poor thing, no more cakes" followed by "eat it, one won't hurt"
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People really are stupid. I accidentally let slip I was diabetic to an elderly lady because I'd just had the diagnosis and had been knocked for six. She was very concerned that I must eat, otherwise I'd end up in a box! Besides, she knew someone who had been diabetic for years, and he just had whatever he wanted.
 

Hi, no I have never had that said, often they know someone with type 2 and then I say 'no I'm not type 2, I'm type 1' and then explain what I have to do, how long I've had it etc and it can make their eyebrows go up a bit lol.
 
The response I've had from work colleagues has been good. We have a system where we buy small presents for birthdays etc and the birthday girl brings in cake. Since I was diagnosed in September they have decided to bring me in fruit rather than cake or biscuits

The bad reaction was from a fellow diabetic who said 'oh ur diabetic too' as if I was copying her. The mentality of some people
 
My M-I-L always refers to it as 'sugar'. My husband has been battling for years, telling her it's a rather belittling and inappropriate term so she's now progressed to "sugar, oh no, I'm not allowed to call it that, sorry, 'diabetes'" the d word said with air quotes and emphasis. It's not really progress. But she had a new stick to beat me with when I started insulin, she now makes a plunging gesture into her arm - complete with sound effects - and refers to it as "shooting up like a junkie". And she so loves how that sounds, so always says it twice.
 
I get that sort of response all the time to all my health stuff. I think people get a bit flustered and don't know what to say when they realise it isn't something they can offer suggestions on how to fix. People are so used to the temporary illnesses like colds & flu's that go away... so they're used to saying things like oh sorry to hear, I hope you feel better soon. They can't really say the "hope you get better soon" part to us because it just dawns on them that there is no quick remedy and there's no cure. They often have their own views on various diseases as well. I have often been told "oh you have the worst type" when they see I'm on insulin. I say no there is no bad type, diabetes no matter the type has the same complications and outcomes. Then they ask but why are you on insulin if you're type 2. I have to explain about progression and how my pancreas doesn't produce the insulin I need. That for me is hard because just about everyone I meet thinks type 2 is diet controlled only. I could go on... I think people are just ignorant about health and generally they don't like to talk about it either and quickly change the subject on you.
 
your MIL sounds like a real "charmer" NOT !
 

OMG, what an awful person! I think if she were my MIL I wouldn't let her in the house.
 
I'm insulin resistant and fortunate my M-I-L is type two. We share recipes and help each other through the hard times. My biological mother on the other hand knew that something was wrong with me aged 12 but refused to get me checked out. Took until I moved out in my early 20's and wondered why I was so unwell.
 
How strange! Did she ever say why she didn't get you checked out?
 
She said she hated me so much she hoped it was serious and I'd die!! Needless to say we now have no contact. Deep down I think she knew I had it and hoped I'd end up in ketone coma and die. Its genetic and I can't have children she would have likely been told the same.
 
I figure that a lot of people just don't understand. I know I didn't when I was first diagnosed last year.

I try to educate people, and I also try to not get mad when people make ignorant comments (for the most part). There's a lot of diseases I know nothing about so it would be unrealistic to expect others to know everything there is to know about diabetes.
 
Lauren, I hope you don't mind my post. I can't comment with knowledge about insulin resistance and infertility (I wasn't aware this was the case, my daughter had insulin resistance but is infertile due to a genetic syndrome), but the other part of your post saddened me terribly. I've got five adult kids, well, I lost my 28 yr old son a year and a half ago, but these are words that no child should ever, ever, have to hear. We have had some serious problems within our family, but our love is strong. It's not a pity post, but I'm truly sorry that you had to endure this. xx
 

{{{{{Hug}}}}} Yes, I had one like that. She was a career woman who never wanted children. I was told from my earliest memory that I was a mistake and a waste of her time and energy. Like you, I chose not to have contact with her and I've never regretted it.
 
Much the same as me. Mine often said she would rather have gone to prison for murder than raising me. So lucky I have an amazing husband and mum in law. One or both of them will come to any appointment I ask them to without an issue. I've learnt to be strong enough to cope on my own regardless of what life throws at me but I like knowing their there if I need them. (((Hugs))) to you too.
 
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