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Really struggling

jemmaedias

Active Member
Messages
44
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Hi everyone,

I hate to rant and I don't wanna bring anyone down but I'm really struggling at the moment.

I've been t1 for a year and a half and I don't think I ever really came to terms with it. Obviously I got into the monitoring, carb counting and injecting routine really quickly, so I thought I had accepted it. But I've been on the pump for a month and it's made me realise I really haven't.

I thought the pump would be a game changer. But I've got higher levels than ever before. I know it takes a long time to settle down and get levels right but I have my A2 exams in June and I can't let this get in the way of that. Every time I see my DSN she changes my basal or my carb ratio but I always end up having to go back onto my sick day basal until the next visit (which increases each time she changes anything obviously).

I'm just really struggling to get on with revision etc with it and I'm actually seeing my GP about antidepressants. Is there anything I can do???

Don't let this put you off the pump. It's made eating so much easier! I just don't think I was mentally ready for the difficulties that come with it.

Thank you.
 
Most days I read about people who want to go on the pump because "it will make my diabetes control easier". Having been on a pump for just over a year, I can confirm that it does not make control "easier". It makes it better but it does this by giving you more control. Having more parameters to tweak can make control harder until you find the right settings to suit you. And these right settings are not going to be the same every day for the rest of your life. In other words it is difficult. Just think, you and your pump are trying to replace something (a healthy pancreas) that took millions of years to evolve.

I can imagine that going through your A2 exams beings a fair amount of stress. Adding to that the stress of a new pump, could drive you crazy. I believe the rewards are worth it. As you say, eating is easier. I also find exercise much much easier

However, if you feel you can't manage the pump now, there is always the option to go back to pens and try again when the stress of your exams is over. It wouldn't be admitting failure: it's about providing balance in your life.
 
@jemmaedias Dont underestimate the effect stress can have on your BS. Perhaps some of your problems are to do with that, or, at least, are being made worse by stress.

As Helensaramay says, all a pump does is give you more and better tools to deal with your Type 1. It won't give you good control automatically.

I was lucky enough to have my basal rate set up pretty accurately when I first got my pump so I then only had to do tiny tweaks to it myself.

If you can say a little more about when you're getting the highs, etc, then you may get some helpful suggestions. Remember that you can do this : ) Getting your basal right can take a few weeks as obviously all changes have to be small and cautious to avoid hypos. If it was me, I'd concentrate on segments of the day to get right (or close to right) and not change too much at one time.
 
Are you testing regularly, and how often per day? Are you keeping complete timed logs of carbs, doses and BGs? It's worth it so you can review trends etc whilst trying to make changes. For me, I found the game changer was when I read "Pumping Insulin", "Think Like a Pancreas" and "Sugar Surfing". Having CGM made it infinitely easier for me, but if you are willing to take plenty of blood tests, consistently, it really is achievable. Having spent 28 years with diabetes and an a1c consistently in the 90's or above, the books and this forum made me realise how little I actually knew about diabetes.
Whilst you should definitely continue to engage with, and take advice from your DSN, you can start to work things out by doing basal testing first, as this is your foundation, and this must be correct, before you can sort anything else. Only ever change one thing at a time, and give things time to stabilise after a change, so you can decide whether the results are better, or worse. It took me 3+months until I started seeing significant improvements, but for me, I realised it was many small changes over a long time, that was required. Hope this helps give something to consider.
 
Hello @jemmaedias I think the timing of going onto a pump was wrong for you personally, so it doesn't mean to say it's not the right thing for you ultimately, but as it does take time and effort to get the settings right for you then if you already dealing with stress then it's going to make life harder. Maybe a heart to heart with your DSN, getting your priorities right with being able to deal with the stress of your exams may mean your pump has to take a back seat and go back to MDI for the time being ?
 
Awwwww @jemmaedias I'm sorry to hear about your pump problems. Perhaps it's a matter of great gadget, wrong time. Please don't lose heart - I'd have a chat with your DSN about perhaps putting it on hold until your exams are over and you have the time - and headspace - to be able to get used to it without it affecting your exams.

I've been on my pump for a year and a half. I started in the October, and by Christmas I had just about got sorted with my basal rate and bolus ratios. For weeks and weeks I was very high, as I'd started pumping only half the basal I'd been on when on MDI - that was my pump nurse's policy for new pumpers - and I really struggled.

I needed time to sort it all out without other pressures. I gave myself two weeks of no pressure stuff in my everyday life (I was lucky to have the choice) but I still struggled after that. I just didn't have the mental capacity or indeed the time to deal with everything at once.

But I worked it out eventually. It just took time, no small amount of frustration and a lot of support.

I am much better controlled on a pump, although I was pretty stable before that. But it's no less work - just different. The main difference is, once you get your ratios sorted, the hard work feels sort of more 'worth it', because it pays off with more predictable sugars and an easier way of dealing with food, hypos, exercise and illness.

Don't give up on it, but I think if I were in your position I might want to put the pump to one side until after my exams.

Hugs!

Love Snapsy
 
Sorry you are having a tuff time at the moment,i don't think this is the best time for you to start on a pump as you need to give your time and energy to your exams. Speak to your DSN and see if you can go back to injections until your exams are finished and then you'll have time to concentrate on your new pump, it is hard at first but it does yet easier. Good luck with your exams
 
Stress is a major factor with diabetes. I'm not on the pump but was considering it recently. Having lived with type 1 for 20 years it's only in the last 2 months I've realised what an effect stress has. My day job is pretty stressful and I couldn't work out why I was low all weekend but majority high during the week despite mainly eating similar foods. Having spoken to my DSN she worked out it was stress and now I have half the amount of insulin I would have if I was at work. Having the libre system works too so I can continuously see my Glucose levels and know where I'm going. Basically I have to double my insulin take under stressful situations and I have much better control for doing that. Best of luck with your exams
 
Thanks for all your supportive messages guys. You're all right in that it wasn't the best time, but unfortunately it seemed like the better option than doing it months before I went off to uni - although I'd been waiting nine months that would have been perfect times to start! I have emailed her and we've made some changes but if they're not good enough then I'll have to go back to pens for the next month. Thanks again!
 

There's a period at 2-6 pm where they're perfect 5s! Other than that, I wake up on a 13, after going to bed with enough insulin to bring me back to 7 so I'm not sure where that goes! I correct and never come down below 10 unless I go for a walk and fall to 8. As soon as I eat lunch I'm around 11-13 until the next morning with peaks for meals. They're not too high but they're stopping me from concentrating.
 

I'm testing 5 or 6 times a day but using Freestyle Libre CGM to see the patterns. All the readings and carbs are stored in the pump.
 
I know the feeling well. I have my angry moments and serious disappointments. It's all part and parcel of the survival game. I recently had a meltdown, and spent the better part of a week getting back on track. You are not alone.
 
Be kind to yourself.

A2s are a big deal. It takes a lot of attention to fine tune your pump levels. If you are able to concentrate enough to revise then give yourself space in your sugar control. The exams will be done in 8 weeks or so. A short period of less tight control will not harm you if you get on top of it when you have more energy to devote to your diabetes.
 
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