Really struggling

Kerry, please TAKE YOUR INSULIN before you do permanent damage to yourself.

If you are not taking it because you're worried about weight gain then please read the information on this page....

http://www.diabetes.co.uk/symptoms/polyphagia.html

This might help you understand what's happening.

Given your extremely high bg levels and the fact you've not taken your insulin for 3 days I would advise you to seek urgent medical attention, feeling weak, tired and sickly is a sigh of DKA which can be very serious if left untreated.

I would still seek medical attention asap @xxkerrylouisexx13, the best people to help you with your eating disorder is your HCP's, but you may want to have a read of the following which is a support group for type 1's who have a eating disorder:

http://www.dwed.org.uk/

You will start to feel low when you're at 15 because your body has got used to high levels so 15 feels low to it when it really isn't at all low. Do you see a DSN? They could help you get your sugars down gradually.

Have you tested for ketones? You really do need to speak to someone so you can get your level down now and avoid DKA.

Sort out this high and then think about getting help to get your long term levels back in range.

I hope you're still receiving help and support for your eating disorder. Even when you're recovering, it's good to have that support there to help stop relapses and just for reassurance.

But now you really do need to look after yourself and get advice about your high sugars and your sickness as soon as possible.

You shouldn't get the sack for attending medical appointments. If for some reason you don't want your employer to know about your appointments, you could arrange them for days off maybe - ie take a day or half day holiday.

You coukd also phone your DSN during a work break. Mine takes calls from approx 8am and I've spoken to her a number of timesthen and in lunch breaks.

I hope you don't think i sounded bossy or anything. It's just upsetting to see someone struggling and it's a worry. We all have diabetes and we all know how horrible it can be. It's a total pain. But if you want to lead a normal life, as you said above, the best way is to control your diabetes and then it doesn't control you.

If you get your levels good then you can get on with your life. That's the way you can win against diabetes - keep it under control and keep it in its little box. It'll always be there, but it'll be a tamed monster not a life-threatening, life-affecting one.

Take care - and do post some more. There's a lot of info here and plenty of people who've been where you are now.

you need yo take the insulin and get medical NOW

I,m long term diabetic and know the results of this so please just start taking your insulin and go to the hospital asap

Hi Kerri. I am in the same situation and am currently recovering and also 20. I was told to see a psychologist about the eating disorder but I haven't plucked the courage. However, i am improving and have started to inject as much as possible. It is very hard to see the weight go up when everything is telling me to withdraw the insulin but it's just something that I have to do. And sometimes I do fail. It is hard to break from this cycle without help so I recommend for you to get some either from your care team or a psychologist (I feel like a hypocrite saying that) as it is too hard to break out of alone. I am really struggling myself. I am here to talk if you need to xxx

Hi Kerry,

I can relate to you in everyyyyyy way I'm 21 type 1 and struggled a hell of a lot I use to not take my injection 6months at a time. The one thing I saw on your post was lucozade! Please don't drink that I know you feel like it gives you energy but it really is doing some damage.

I use to feel hypos at 15s and then gobble down a cookie, but last month I was in the hospital admitted with 2 infections. I really was in pain and couldn't walk, with high bloods your opening yourself up to so much hassle!

I can now say today my sugars aren't reading at HI on my meter I've bought them down, it's a gradual process of getting use to having your sugars at 'normal' level and feeling good when they are at single numbers.

Do keep injecting, try speaking to a dietician who can help you with the food aspect of things and if it helps to speak to a health psychologist, friends/family or us in a forum then please do.

X

Hello Kerry,

I don't normally write on these forums as I tend not to immerse myself in my diabetes. However, your post struck a chord with me and I felt compelled to write a reply.

I have been diabetic for 19 years and have really struggled to manage it. I, like you, did not inject for long periods of time and used various techniques to keep my weight down. It felt like the only element of control I had in my life and gave me some satisfaction that I could control one element of my body. There is so much emphasis on weight and food when you have diabetes, conflicting information and it feels never ending at times.

I am nearly 30 and I am now suffering with severe complications of my diabetes due to my lack of management when I was in my twenties and I am scared. My body always seemed to bounce back and I could recover quickly but now this is not the case and I am unable to drive and suffer with both kidney and eye complications. It is incredibly difficult to strike the right balance, as I do not want to scare you and you will need to manage this in your own time with the help of professionals and the support of family and friends but….. Insulin keeps you alive! You can lead a really full life where you control the diabetes and not the other way around. I am still not fully there my last HbA1c is the lowest it has been in 13 years but still has a long way to go. I have bad days and days where I really struggle to do one blood test. I remind myself how much better I feel when my BG is at a good level. I have more energy, my breath does not smell, I can sleep through the night,I am less emotional and I am in control.

I don't imagine for one minute that you will read this and miracously change your habits but you have taken a huge step by opening up a discussion on how you are coping with it. I am not going to lie, it sucks and it will not go away but you can manage it and feel better both mentally and physically.

The lucozade will not give you energy throughout the day, It will compound the issue as you are loading your body with more glucose which it can't get rid of. This will send your blood sugar higher and make you feel more lethargic. If you are still struggling to inject, drink plenty of water and stick to a low carb meal, consisting of vegetables and protein based foods. Ideally, you need to take your insulin and it will make you feel hungry but it does subside after a while. I wear an insulin pump and have insulin continuously pumped into my body, I don't often feel hungry and stick to low carb foods as I am trying very hard to get lower BG results. Everybody is different and what works for you might not work for someone else but we all need insulin.

I feel like I have really rambled and will draw this post to a close. You have been very brave and I admire you for reaching out for help. I truly hope you are able to get the help and support you need to handle this but be safe in the knowledge many people have experienced similar issues as you. I am more than happy to talk to you, if you would like.

Look after yourself

Aimee

Hi Kerry I just want to say that I myself started to become extremely paranoid about whether injecting insulin would make me gain weight leading to me stopping injecting ( when I was first diagnosed) and instead refusing to eat any carbohydrates which in turn made me ill. What I did instead was see a private dietician and I now eat 3 meals a day at least! And I've still lost over half a stone in a few months! And I inject insulin at every meal normally. Firstly I think you should speak to your diabetes team and ask their help and then If you want, message me and I'll give you an idea of what I eat, which is healthy and low carb.
Hope you're ok, remember were all in this together

Hi Kerry,

I do feel your pain and I fully empathise with how grim Type 1 diabetes can be, but you really do need to make some drastic changes.

I know a 27 year old girl who went down this path, she is now registered blind, on dialysis and recently suffered a stroke. She would not inject insulin because she did not want to gain weight, it's only now she realises how foolish she has been. A girl in the prime of her life living like a geriatric. Her body image is the least of her concerns now.

Not taking your insulin, to me is a slow form of suicide and it will catch up with you eventually.

I think you it owe to yourself and to those you love and who love you to start working on this TODAY.

1. Your health must be your primary concern, sod worrying about not being able to attend medical appointments because you risk losing your job. You risk a hell of alot more if you do not get this situation sorted.

2. Engage with your medical team, I'd actually advise going to A&E to get the ball rolling! You'll at least get a consultant visit whilst you're being stabilised so you can start dialogue and get a plan of action in place. Start taking your insulin!

I know this will not be an easy change for you, but it absolutely has to happen because the alternative is not really worth thinking about.

You'll feel so much better when you get on top of this disease.

So many brilliant guys and girls on this forum that can guide you every step of the way.

Good luck.

Hi and welcome. Many have already said that you must take your insulin and keep the lucozade for hypos only. It's pure glucose and poison for us other than for hypo recovery. It won't be easy but try to start having drinks and food that are low in carbs to get you out of the Hi state on the meter. You will be causing damage to yourself currently and I'm sure you don't want that. I might suggest seeing a counsellor if you can find the time to break the loop with CBT or whatever. Do contact the surgery again and ask to be referred to the diabetes clinic if you haven't already been and also see if some conselling can be arranged. Good luck.

If I had a meter reading "HI" and the symptoms of DKA. I would not be trying to get a referral to a diabetes clinic, or put on a waiting list that you'd need a telescope to see the end of for counselling.

I'd be on the way to A&E!

I agree with the above. A&E will be the best place to get the immediate care you need. You will need a combination of insulin and fluids. They normally administer potassium in order to open your cells and aid with rehydration. This in turn can affect your heart rate and they will monitor this. Your insulin dose will need to be controlled and measured over time as bringing it down too fast can also be dangerous and makes you feel awful. It won't be easy but you have already demonstrated tenacity and resolve...you can do this.

Diabetes is a recognised disability and your employer has to give you time to attend your hospital appointments. This is the law. They cannot discriminate against you because of it. I know this is hard to believe but you have the right to attend your appointments.

Go to A&E now and then phone up your GP and get an appointment and ask to be referred to the diabetes clinic at the biggest hospital near you (if you have a teaching hospital chose that).

This takes priority over work, and everything else.

You have to act now.

xxkerrylouisexx13 said:

I dont really have anyone to speak too as ive not been to the hospital in what seems like forever and ive sort of pushed everyone away so i dont really know where to turn to for help, so i feel rather alone all i know is i feel very unwell and im having to pretend every day that im fine when i know im definitely not.
x

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That's upsetting to read. I really hope you can be brave enough to reach out again to your diabetes team or your GP.

But if your sugars are still high now and still out of control, you do need to get to A and E. Don't worry about what they might say. They're there to help you and you certainly won't be the first person struggling with diabetes. As others have said, it's also a good way to get back on their books. Even if you've pushed them away or said No before, you can still ask for help from them. I'm sure this will be a situation they've seen many times before. Their job is to give you whatever help you need.

Please look after yourself. I know how lonely it can be having diabetes when no one around you has, but the fact you've posted here shows you're a strong person so stick up for yourself, bite the bullet and get some help. Once you get that help, you'll feel so much better.