Really struggling

I'm sorry I don't understand your logic.

You're a 20-year-old adult, you must be able to understand the damage and risks you are currently taking with your health and life?

I don't see how you taking responsibility for your condition and getting well is going to put pressure on your family. How much pressure would losing a daughter to diabetic complications at a young age put on them?

If you meter is reading HI and you have symptoms of DKA, the best thing you can do is to go to A&E. They'll stabilise your BG and get your blood profile back to normal quicker than you battling along by yourself.

As previously stated it will also likely get you a referral to a consultant and a clinic a lot sooner.

If you're struggling with the basics, which it sounds like you are. Having the support of a consultant and decent diabetic specialist nurse will be invaluable.

You're on MDI I assume? Or meant to be? What insulins are you on? Are you meant to be on basal bolus regime?

Diet wise? Why you're drinking bottles of Lucozade when you're blood sugar is off the charts is beyond me. I'd limit carbs, drink plenty of water, take electrolyte powders and keep correcting until your sugar is down to the single digits. Much safer to do this via medical professional in a hospital.

Short-term advice is: GET TO A&E.

Long term: Engage with your medical team, do a DAFNE course if possible. Learn about basal-bolus, test when you wake up, before every meal, two hours after, before bed etc. Learn about I:C ratios, carb counting. Get your basal rate sorted.

xxkerrylouisexx13 said:

Maybe I could try and phone them ? And unfortunately no matter how bad I feel i have to keep carrying on if I want to get better I have to do it myself I can't go to a and e because the amount of pressure it would put on my family my dad's seriously ill and the last thing any of them need is to be worrying about me so I've just got to do this myself :/ I just don't know where to start :/ is there a diet plan thar you follow or dyou keep a diary to make sure you test your bloods I just really need some guidance :/

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Please do as Dillinger has advised and go straight to A&E, do not worry about anyone else but yourself, you need to selfish and stop worrying about what other people think, tell work you are ill and need medical assistance, this is not a trivial matter and you need to put yourself first, you need to seek medical assistance now.

Think of this - what would you life be like if you were blind, were on dialysis, lost a leg - this is serious, this is your life you have to consider, this is what we all as type 1 diabetics live in fear of, please put your health first, if I was near you I would take you in myself. Work and family have to take a backseat now until you get yourself sorted out.

Going forward you need to test your BG at least twice a day to start, do it first thing on waking, then take your insulin, then test again in the evening before dinner. Try and get this routine in place then you can start to get your BG under some control.

Please stop playing russian roulette with your life and start to take control now, it will not go away but only you have the power to change it. You will only get help if you ask for it.

Sending you a very big hug and please let us know how you get on.

Apologies if I am sounding harsh, I don't mean to. I'm genuinely concerned for your welfare and worried about the damage you're doing to yourself.

If you're in Hampshire I'll happily drive you in myself!

xxkerrylouisexx13 said:

Maybe I could try and phone them ? And unfortunately no matter how bad I feel i have to keep carrying on if I want to get better I have to do it myself I can't go to a and e because the amount of pressure it would put on my family my dad's seriously ill and the last thing any of them need is to be worrying about me so I've just got to do this myself :/ I just don't know where to start :/ is there a diet plan thar you follow or dyou keep a diary to make sure you test your bloods I just really need some guidance :/

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Sorry your dad is ill. That must be very hard.

You do need help and monitoring, but you don't need to tell your family the details if you think it would worry them. Tell a white lie. Make out it's routine, say they wanted to do a check, whatever you want. You may think you're saving your family from stress but it could easily be that you end up causing them more. If they knew you were being looked after and helped, it might be a weight off their minds.

None of us can give you specific medical advice. If your sugars are really high you do need medical attention. It can be extremely dangerous.

You could phone your hospital and ask to be put through to the diabetes team and tell them it's urgent and you need to speak to someone. You could also phone the NHS on 111.

Have you any idea what your blood sugar is now? When did you last test it?

xxkerrylouisexx13 said:

It is. He has only just come out of hospital and the last thing he needs is me being in there. And if i do that won't they admit me though? I can't afford the time off work at the moment and I realise my health is important but I cant survive without money so I need to have a balance. And yes I felt low this morning but they will still 14.9 but I felt like my legs were going to go from beneath me so I had to have some sugar to bring it back up there now 28.7 x

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I completely understand the way you're thinking and that you want to protect your family from more hurt and worry, but you need to try to see it a different way. Your dad was in hospital because he was ill. If you were to be admitted, it would be because you have a medical condition. That's way different from you suddenly developing something or having an accident. You coukd even explain to the hospital that you don't want your family made to worry. You're an adult so your health information can be confidential. You could ask the hospital to only tell your family X, Y and Z and not all the details. I'm sure they're used to presenting things in a positive way.

I'm not sure what job you do, but if you wouldn't get sick pay from your employer, you'd get statutory sick pay from the state. Also, if you carry on not controlling your diabetes you coukd end up without a job anyway. Get it under control and you'll be able to function much better at work.

Drink water for your thirst not Lucozade. If your sugars stay high, which they will do with the Lucozade, then you'll only get more thirsty so the Lucozade isn't helping at all. If you feel ill when your sugar is around 15 you coukd try to keep it slightly higher but nowhere near 28. I know its hard to get your head around when you're feeling shaky and low, but 15 is not low.

Even if you'd been a total pain to your diabetes team, they would still see you. Don't worry about what happened in the past. They're there to help, not judge. Tell them you've had a hard time. Tell them you're struggling. Tell them your diabetes is out of control. Tell them you need support.

If you went into DKA that'd be far harder for your family than if you were admitted to hospital for monitoring. Even if you were admitted, it might not be for long anyway.

Please phone someone. Once you ask for help it'll be a huge weight off your mind. You can't go on struggling like this.

Sorry my lovely - you cannot carry on this way.

You are putting barriers up here, your health comes first, you know that you cannot carry on running high levels as it will be causing internal damage to your vessels, only a healthcare professional can get you back on track with your diabetes now and unless you go to A&E you will carry on doing untold damage, please heed everyone's advice here, we are doing it because as fellow type 1's we care deeply about you.

You need support right now and contacting your local A&E or at least speaking to your doctor is the only way forward for you right now, please do something positive for yourself and get this sorted today, otherwise you will carry on kidding yourself that you will be ok when really you wont be.

Hello Kerrylouise
I've just read everyone's comments here and agree with what they've all said. Please take the first step and ring the diabetes team at your hospital. Do you still have the number? If you don't, ring through the hospital switchboard and say you need emergency diabetes help. They absolutely will help you. Do this today, preferably do it now. And then get back to us and tell us how it went.
You remind me of me before I was diagnosed. I had a raging thirst all the time and was drinking so much I was practically living in the bathroom! I was dreadfully dehydrated. I had no energy and felt terrible. I eventually went into a diabetic coma and was taken to hospital where I was eventually stabilised. Once I was on an insulin regime I couldn't believe how much better I felt. I also couldn't believe how awful I had been feeling for so long. So please don't let yourself get to that point.
I've been type 1 for 35 years. I've always hated it, but you just have to deal with it. It's important to remember that you are in control of your diabetes and not the other way round. One thing that has really helped me is my new BG meter. It's the Accuchek Aviva Expert. It calculates your fast acting insulin dose for you. Once you are stabilised you could check it out. It has helped me to feel in charge of my BG and I don't worry about going low nearly as much.
First thing first tho. Lift up the phone. Now. Please. Make the call.

K

xxkerrylouisexx13 said:

It is. He has only just come out of hospital and the last thing he needs is me being in there. And if i do that won't they admit me though? I can't afford the time off work at the moment and I realise my health is important but I cant survive without money so I need to have a balance. And yes I felt low this morning but they will still 14.9 but I felt like my legs were going to go from beneath me so I had to have some sugar to bring it back up there now 28.7 x

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Kerry, please try to look at this a different way. If you carry on with BS of 15 or more you will suffer complications, it's only a matter of time. You will not be much use to your dad when that happens. Most parents want the best for their children and I'm sure he'd want to know that you're looking after yourself.

Please go to A&E sweetie, it's going to be much more of a worry to your family if they find you unconscious.
It's serious. Would you have preferred it if your dad had said he wouldn't go to hospital to get treatment for his illness? No! Course not.

Hi Kerri Louise how's you today sweetie just seen posts don't often go on this site but saw you xxx

Kerrylouise - how are you? Please get back in touch. I've been thinking about you and I'm sure we're all worried. Did you make the call? You really do need to get professional help.

@xxkerrylouisexx13 How are you feeling today? Did you manage to phone anyone?

I hope you're ok. Do keep us updated. We all understand how hard diabetes can be.

xxkerrylouisexx13 said:

Hello everyone I'm currently in hospital hopefully should be coming out today. I phoned them up and got admitted to a & e I feel a bit better now just still quite tired :/ but thank you for your support I have a follow up appointment in 2 weeks xx

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Sending you a big hug, diabetes is hard at times, it shouldn't take over our lives, but a little light inside should make you see that you have to get some good control by keeping stable as much as possible. Just do one little thing at a time ( baby steps) and keeping a food diary and writing down how you are feeling too, is a great help.
Of course you are worried about your dad, but you must take some control, I'm sure your dear dad wouldn't want you be ill anymore. Please take good care and good luck at the 2 week appointment. ps any questions you want to ask them, write them down before hand, be strong and assertive, because it's about looking after our minds and bodies. x

xxkerrylouisexx13 said:

Hello everyone I'm currently in hospital hopefully should be coming out today. I phoned them up and got admitted to a & e I feel a bit better now just still quite tired :/ but thank you for your support I have a follow up appointment in 2 weeks xx

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Aww, that's fantastic news! I'm really pleased youre feeling better now

The diabetes team will gradually get you back on track. It's hard looking after diabetes on a daily basis, but once you get a bit of a grip on it, it does get easier to control.

You've made a really great start

A very genuine Well Done

xxkerrylouisexx13 said:

Thank you everyone I'm a bit sore as they could t find any veins to put the drips in turns out I did have dka :/ I think deep down i knew that though just wish they'd give me a bit more support for when I come out as I don't really know where to start x

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Get the number of a good DSN before you leave hospital and specifically tell them that you've been struggling. You might think it's obvioys but sometimes doctors are busy and don't put things together. Ask one of the nurses if you can speak to someone as you're worried about your ongoing control and what'll happen when you get out of hospital.

See if they can give you some help with carb counting too so you have an idea of how much insulin to have for each meal. That'll help a lot and give you more freedom.

I'm quite a quiet person but I've learnt you need to speak up if you want help as people often don't notice. So don't be afraid to speak up

Sorry about your veins. Those drip things are pretty scary, aren't they? I never ever look!