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Room 101 (like the TV prog)

I'm happy to keep all cycling bums NOT padded with incontinence foam wadding out of 101.

I was actually frothing at the mouth during our drive, trying to explain to the dear Mr B that cyclists with real clothes, and shopping, and dogs in wicker baskets, and child seats on the back are all proper. They're OK.

I think what tipped me over the edge was while we were sitting outside a cafe, we saw a whole pack of them waddling about looking as though they had 1970s sanitary pads stuffed into their shorts. I mean, if your bum is so skinny that you need padding between you and the hard saddle, then put it on the saddle ***!

Oh. I seem to still have some rant brewing.

See? Now I need therapy.

Obviously another black mark against the whole cyclist species.
 
Oh, no.

I assure you, Mr Pipp is a very very well behaved cyclist. He rants about the sort you describe, doesn't race through red lights, leave his bike across pavements or in doorways. No wicker basket or dog, but back pack to carry all my requisites, and he does wear those cycle shorts and jerseys but without the advertising.

Please, please keep Mr Pipp out. He is indispensable, as well as being rather pleasing on the eye.
 
So, you avoid saying it outright...
I'm afraid I'm going to press you for a yes or no answer here:

Does he have a huge sanitary towel down his knickers?

 
Brunneria said:
So, you avoid saying it outright...
I'm afraid I'm going to press you for a yes or no answer here:

Does he have a huge sanitary towel down his knickers?
Click to expand...
I could do with one of them myself, because I am peeing myself laughing now.

I am going to go and check his lycra shorts, because I can honestly say I have never, ever noticed the bum padding. Surely not because the cheeks are so well defined.
Will report back.
 
I would seriously like to see push bikes banned from roads with a speed limit over forty miles an hour.
 

OK. I plead for Mr Pipp to be excused 101 as the knickers only have a thin, panty liner type of pad. Like I said, hardly noticeable due to the muscular buttocks.
 
He would also be very useful if allowed into 010. He would bring plentiful cups of tea, coffee, refreshments, wash up, do laundry, entertain with jokes, keep the place tidy, mow the lawns, cycle to the shops, and generally not mind that we mock his attire.
 
Pipp said:
OK. I plead for Mr Pipp to be excused 101 as the knickers only have a thin, panty liner type of pad. Like I said, hardly noticeable due to the muscular buttocks.
Click to expand...

You are sure?

This is the kind of thing you are looking for - although how you could miss it is beyond me. Even if 'discretely' done in all black rather than this blue and black combo:

 
Brunneria said:
You are sure?

This is the kind of thing you are looking for - although how you could miss it is beyond me. Even if 'discretely' done in all black rather than this blue and black combo:

View attachment 6937
Click to expand...

Hahahaha, no deffo not like that. That looks like a monkey's bum. No way would I allow him to leave the house wearing those.
 
Phew!

The lovely Mr Pipp escapes 101 yet again!



(And I am surprised that anyone lets anyone leave the house looking like that, but they do. Some people are very odd. Cyclists. Need I say more?)
 
Brunneria said:
You are sure?

This is the kind of thing you are looking for - although how you could miss it is beyond me. Even if 'discretely' done in all black rather than this blue and black combo:

View attachment 6937
Click to expand...

His bike has a gel saddle, so no need for the monkey bum hole/sanitary pad.
 
Brunneria said:
Phew!

The lovely Mr Pipp escapes 101 yet again!



(And I am surprised that anyone lets anyone leave the house looking like that, but they do. Some people are very odd. Cyclists. Need I say more?)
Click to expand...

Yes you do! "Cyclists with the exception of the practically perfect, sleek knickered Mr Pipp".
 
Yes, you are right. I shouldn't let my anti-padded-bum-prejudices tar Mr P with the same brush.

Sorry Mr P.
As long as your saddles (and not your knickers) are padded, it exclude you from all anti-cyclist rants.
 
Brunneria said:
Yes, you are right. I shouldn't let my anti-padded-bum-prejudices tar Mr P with the same brush.

Sorry Mr P.
As long as your saddles (and not your knickers) are padded, it exclude you from all anti-cyclist rants.
Click to expand...

Ah, thanks B.

If he had gone in I would have had to accompany him, sitting on the crossbar. We would have had a go at sorting out all the reprobates in there though.
 
One word
Pipp said:
Ah, thanks B.

If he had gone in I would have had to accompany him, sitting on the crossbar. We would have had a go at sorting out all the reprobates in there though.
Click to expand...
Brunneria said:
Yes, you are right. I shouldn't let my anti-padded-bum-prejudices tar Mr P with the same brush.

Sorry Mr P.
As long as your saddles (and not your knickers) are padded, it exclude you from all anti-cyclist rants.
Click to expand...
I vote all MAMIL's go in ... not a good look, especially if you're overweight. I do see the need for the padded bum area though ... on the rare occasion I get on a bike (about twice in the last 30 years) I do get a sore bum ... and rest assured I have plenty of padding
 


B^*!"r that! He's not going to 101 or 010. He's coming to my house. He'd be safe in the spare room. He could even have his very own Marigolds!!! And he's open to a bit of ritual humiliation?

Send him round.

(I'll get a duster and the mower out ready for him.................)
 

I think I've missed something vital
What's a MAMIL?
 
Think Mr Pipp is still safe. He is beyond middle aged.
Still looks good in lycra. No fat flabby belly or saggy bum. All the cycling over the years has kept him trim.
 
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