Hey, I just made my account to reply back to your message. I'm the same age as you. But I've was diagnosed a few more years ago. I was diagnosed at the worst possible time in my life, when I was set to start a career with the Coast Guard and become a marine science technician. I feel near constant rage and sadness over what happened to me, even though it's been years. . I've thought about harming myself but haven't really gone through with it (aside maybe from punching things really hard, I do fitness kickboxing and work on a bag a lot). What stopped me is my ambition to one day work with Fish and Wildlife, and knowing that if they or other law enforcement agencies saw that I cut myself or something similar that they would view me as unstable.
But I guess my advice is, find what you enjoy, find a your passion or interest and try to use it to help you take your mind off the illness. One of my big loves is blues music. I play harmonica and am learning guitar. I listen to dozens of the great artists like Eric Clapton, BB King, Robert Johnson, all the greats. And I remind myself that most of them had harder lives than me. Eric Clapton for instance, lost a son. Blues is designed to cultivate joy from deep depression you feel, so my condition I feel has helped me understand and connect it. I also love nature and all types of animals. Being around them just fills me with happiness. If you're religious, try prayer, try connecting to other religious people. (If you're not, at least look into it, it would make me very happy to know I'm encouraging that, at least). But even if you're not religious, meditation is a long standing way to relieve stress. I've recently been reading a book by Chuck Norris about how powerful a personal tool it can be.
But more importantly, talk to your loved ones. Please don't keep the bad emotions inside until they boil over. They are set to be released in harmful ways in that situation. If you're angry or sad, find a way to vent it out. It's okay to be angry, if I need to run around in the woods screaming like I'm the Wolverine then that's what I usually do (there's probably better ways I know). Many of them may not know what to say, but their love is what you need to connect with, even if their words or advice might miss the mark.
I know I'm probably not explaining this too well, I'm still figuring myself out with my disease. But what I can tell you for sure is that no two people are alike and everyone thinks, feels, and deals differently. The best thing you can do is think and feel outside of the box.
