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SERIOUS HELP NEEDED


I've appreciated a lot of the things you've said here as someone else with a lifetime of eating problems / issues. I understand quite a lot about how they developed, and you're right, as much as that helps, it doesn't solve the real problems of the physiological damage I'm doing myself.

One of the most helpful things said to me about it was by the diabetes nurse I see at my GP's, who said she thought we just have to work with it. That was a shock! I've always assumed I must somehow 'cure' the disordered eating, and after working through an assortment of approaches, had no confidence that I'd ever manage to do that. She said she'd seen too many people with a range of eating disorders to believe we understand it all well, and that there aren't straightforward 'cures' out there. As a result, and with the help of recently going on an X-PERT course where one of the things we were taught was realistic goal-setting, in the 5 months since my T2 diagnosis, I think I've made some small steps in the right direction. Definitely small steps, but enough to make me start to believe real long-term improvement actually is possible. But you're right, it is about taking personal responsibility.
 

This resonates with me too, and that is why I found a book by Gillian Riley, Eating Less: Say Goodbye to Overeating, very helpful. The book does not "cure" anything, instead it provides tools to manage overeating. I heartily recommend it to anyone who has ever struggled with addictive eating.
 
I have a copy of 'Eating less' and it's a book I do read and re-read bits of, but I've read so much good advice over the years that I realise one part of the whole problem is the ability - the great urge - to turn your back on the sanity and do the utterly crazy thing!

I had a spell of going to Overeaters Anonymous meetings and felt the people there really understood what i was talking about. But I couldn't handle the whole 12-step program and dropped out. But for anyone who can take that approach, I'd recommend trying it.

Mind you, I'm not as bad as I have been. I suspect whatever we try, as long as we do keep trying to get some sort of grip on it, we'll slowly make some progress.
 
I was diagnosed T2 back in May and that was the start of me developing a new approach to my diet and eating. I'm still an over-eater, and still binge, but these last few weeks I realised I am now generally eating less at each meal, and the binges are fewer, and less gross. In other words, there's been some real change! I have lost some weight - no great amount - but it's a real change in the right direction. I'm on a low carb diet and it certainly helps, but it's no simple fix whatever some of the 'believers' in it seem to think.

How are you others with the same sorts of problems doing?
 
Great progress, @JenniferW ! It's the change in eating pattern that is important, weight is really just a side effect and it will follow.

I agree that LC helps but it's not the panacea for everyone. I have found myself binging on such LC staples as cheese, butter and cream, so in the last few weeks I have stopped having them in the house. I have not completely eliminated them from my diet, but just not having them in the fridge makes it much easier not to think of, for example, snacking on a butter-cheese-butter sandwich 3-4 times before dinner (!)...

I am still trying not to weigh myself too often, as I get really depressed and frustrated if the scale is not showing a lower number, even though I know it's not about the weight - it's about improving my health, feeling and even looking better (which is all happening). Also, I have another 25 kgs to lose just to get to the top of "normal" BMI, and even at a fast rate of weight loss it will take another year or so, so what's the point of being impatient? I might as well be kind to myself and allow my body to get stronger and reflect my now healthy lifestyle at its own pace.
 

This sounds so familiar! It's taken me time to understand that I can control - or restrain - some of the over-eating by the shopping! I'm lucky in that I live on my own so am only shopping for myself. I do weigh myself daily - a habit I developed so many years ago it's part of the cleaning-the-teeth routine, and for me, I honestly think it's fine. It's like my morning BS test - a nudge to remind me I have to pay more attention to all this. Also, if it's up one morning, it's soon enough for me to link it back to what I ate the day before. It's the same as with the blood testing.

Years ago I remember reading a lot about serial dieters and their successes and failures, and remembered that a loss of 5% a year came out as sustainable. I'd often lost more than that when I was younger (I'm now 68), but of course overall, my weight just went up and up over the years. So now, 5% is my aim, and with luck, I'll get to the target BMI in 7 years time! So like you, I'm doing real long-term planning!
 
 

Hello Petrel and thank you for your kind words . I so understand what you mean about weight loss being stuck. I have recently put on about 8 or 9 pounds and feel absolutely terrible about it. I honestly don't think it is down to bingeing this time, I have had to go on anti-depressant medication (only the third time in my life) and the weight gain coincides with this. I also went into an instant menopause caused by cancer treatment and I understand weight loss can be slower at this time too.

What you say is so interesting and maybe something that only people who have food issues can understand. The morning non stop eating cannot be caused by appetite surely..it has to be that psychological thing that kicks off and tells us we HAVE to eat. My danger time is mid afternoon but it also seems to me that if I eat breakfast, it somehow triggers my brain, and I want to eat more.
I notice that you have the yogurt, then the savoury eggs (salty), then the fruit (sweet) - do you get the urge to continue like that, sweet, savoury, sweet? It is so hard because it isn't about satiety is it? Yet the need to eat is so real, almost like we are driven.

I want to shift this weight I have put on, and am trying to low carb again. I have made the mistake a couple of times (and I KNEW it was a mistake!) of eating a higher carb food too, like rice, even though it wasn't much. It messes with weight loss but you may get the same as me, the mental battle between low calorie and low carb..

I fasted last Monday and it went just fine, no problems. I was going to do it today too, as I think it is good for me, gives the digestive system a rest. Unfortunately, I had to go shopping at Lidl (the only place that do the low carb rolls), I was hungry when I went, got back at lunchtime and hubby was chomping away on his ordinary rolls with the ham that I'd bought and I was unpacking my rolls - and I caved in lol. I did only have half with ham and mustard and then some yogurt with blueberries. I do eat on a small tea plate for all my meals Petrel, do you think this might help you with portions? Really for us, awareness is key - we need to realise what we are doing and acknowledge it, that's the first step. Empowerment over food decisions comes after that, ie if you slip up at breakfast and have a lot, have smaller portions later on with your lunch and dinner. Plenty of drinks to hand, be it tea, coffee, or sugar free something, also helps.

If you would like, we could try and see how we get on together for the next week, maybe see if we can lose any weight, do our fast on the same day? Only a suggestion, no pressure at all. It would be nice to have some support from someone who shares the same issues, that goes for anyone who also has the tendency to binge where it isn't caused by hunger.

What do you think?
 

I agree about eating breakfast, and for me it feels worse, the 'bigger' the breakfast. So all the advice about having a 'good' breakfast doesn't work for me. I've talked about this over many, many years of weight-loss dieting, and I've heard other people say the same thing. You're not alone! I often think I'd be better now to cut out breakfast altogether.

As regards binge-eating, you're not the only one using this forum with the problem. I'm one of a number who've posted something on separate threads. How about starting a new thread specifically for binge eaters? (And not taking over Vicki's original questions.) People who don't know what compulsive overeating involves and with the best of intentions tend to give irrelevant and inappropriate advice. For a while i went to Overeaters Anonymous group meetings. I couldn't take the whole 12-step thing, but the other people there were the best support I probably ever got. Everyone really understood.
 
Isn't it just so practical and real what JenniferW's diabetic nurse said about eating disorders. when Jenniferw reported what the nurse said 'she said we'll just have to work with it', I got quite emotional. Congrats JenniferW on realistic goal setting and small steps.

Sweet and savoury is an interesting insight,ladybird64. I'll watch out for it to see if I do that. Also use small plates.Thanks for your suggestions.

ladybird64, I would like to do fasting on the same days that you do. I can do any days except Wednesday which is my Methotrexate day. So what days would suit you? also, can you do a water fast or do you have to eat a little for taking your meds?

Petrel
 
I'm all for it Jennifer but am very cautious of any kind of a competitive element, if that makes sense? I'm not sure how we all feel about this (maybe It's just me) but I loathe the whole weigh in type mentality, I think it puts so much pressure on and we know that our issues are quite complex. I thought about contact OA a few years back when I was a lot heavier but pride stopped me, also for other reasons, I don't feel comfortable in the 12 step environment. I'd definitely like to share experiences, as I think we have things in common that just aren't picked up on (or are too easily dismissed), like breakfast being a trigger - sometimes just the act of eating can be a trigger!

I'm classed as overweight, but I don't care half as much as I used to as I lost nearly 6 stones, and feel better in myself. excuse the following waffle please.
We know that in all likelihood, the urge to overeat is psychological mainly, with a bit of physical stuff chucked into the mix. Like a lot of psychological anxieties and issues, there is emphasis on "cure", getting past something rather than learning to live with it. How difficult is it to try when there is so much pressure, competition - judgement. I think it's about getting to that point that we are aware, not guilty. Guilt makes me want to block it out and to give up - capable in so many ways but could I stop putting food in my mouth? Nah. Big fat failure. I am a bit fearful of weight going on again but somehow the habits of old are not getting a grip, I have more control. I have done some really weird stuff to gain that control, pouring water in crisps, shoving chocolate under some nasty rubbish in the bin but you know what? It's just a coping mechanism, an odd one admittedly, but it is still me taking control. The "how" doesn't matter, and as long as it is not harming myself in anyway, such as bulimia, it has to be ok.

I think I would love that thread Jennifer. Sharing of ideas, no pressure to do anything, just a bit of support for each other. When something makes no sense, like the urge to binge at certain times, it can feel very lonely and we need to realise that we are not alone. Dealing with the diabetes goes hand in hand with this so we can kill two birds with one stone

Petrel, I did my fast today. I will do another one soon, maybe Thursday if I feel up to it? I feel it's really important for me to take each day as it comes, maybe you're the same, no pressure on ourselves. I ate my main meal last night, at about 8pm. Today I had tea with milk, then a few coffees with cream throughout the day until 6pm when I ate. I honestly felt satiated with the creamy coffees and didn't feel the desire to attack the cold meat in the fridge or grab a piece of fruit - today was pretty easy actually. My aim is just to cut out food until the main meal, let the system have a rest so no restrictions on hot drinks lol.

I have gone on at length -sorry!
 
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If we were to start a new thread specifically for talking about and supporting other people with overeating issues, which part of the forum should it be in?
 
JenniferW said:
If we were to start a new thread specifically for talking about and supporting other people with overeating issues, which part of the forum should it be in?
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I'm not familiar yet with different forums to suggest which you could decide on. Diabetics with eating problems are vulnerable and can benefit from group experiences and ways others with the same problem manage their diabetes.

I'm so sorry but I am more of a spectator type of person. So I will never be a dependable backbone of a discussion group. I wish I could. The problems a diabetic faces when struggling with an eating disorder matter a lot to me and I am most interested to read of the experiences of others.

Please let me know if you go ahead with a thread.

Petrel
 

I'll have a think about this - I need to look down the list of sections. I do think it would be helpful. I'm starting to feel as if I've slowly turned a corner, but know this is a long, long term issue so support would be good.
 
JenniferW said:
I'll have a think about this - I need to look down the list of sections. I do think it would be helpful. I'm starting to feel as if I've slowly turned a corner, but know this is a long, long term issue so support would be good.
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congrats on turnng a corner.Petrel
 
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