Skeptical friends

[Gratope]

:wink: Hi all, need to ask a question regarding neighbours and friends. For the last year my good neighbours have been inviting me to tea/dinner, sometimes up to 3 times a week. I have insisted on making some contribution now and again as it makes me feel better. I only got diagnosed type 2 in May and started my tablets 2 weeks ago.
I have told them I am diabetic. I have even been across for Sunday lunch since then. Here's the question, should I just bite my tongue when my mate keeps telling me its " All in the mind " I have had my tea for tonight and he has just called to see if I wanted any bubble and squeak as he has made plenty. I told him the mash was just too much for me and I got the usual " no it isn't, it all in the mind, it never bothered you last year " They are fantastic neighbours but I am getting a bit uptight with him. WHAT DO I SAY ?

 

[stoney]

Hi Gratope

Tell them exactly what you said:

I only got diagnosed type 2 in May and started my tablets 2 weeks ago. Then say that you really don't want to rock the boat with overdoing the carbs otherwise instead of taking tablets could end up having to have insulin and become a Type 1, so I really need to watch what I eat.

Hope they see sense and good luck

 

[LittleSue]

I agree with what Stoney said.. except don't mention becoming type 1. Going onto insulin doesn't mean you've become type 1. It just means you're a type 2 treated with insulin. Sorry to be picky, but there's no point spreading wrong information.

You could mention that eating more carbs than your tablets are designed to cover will put you at higher risk of complications such as blindness. But if this isn't taken seriously, most people should understand that you don't want to eat things that will make you feel lousy afterwards.

 

[Sanober]

Hi Gratope

People mean well but they can be so silly sometimes.

My manager has been great about giving me time off for my appointments and is always keen to know the latest outcome of test/DN visit etc . But come Easter he handed out large milk chocolate eggs to the staff including me :? I didn't make an issue as I thought it was a kind gesture so politely accepted it and gave it to my husband.

At the end of the day, bubble and squeak wasn't a problem before you were diagnosed now it potentially is :lol:

How would your neighbours treat you if you decide to become vegan or convert to Islam/Hinduism and therefore have certain food restrictions?

You seem to know them well enough, maybe you should invite them round to yours, and just set the record straight that they will need to be aware of certain things now. Or meet them half way on the dinner at theirs, insist that you take round something (veggies?) to them to compliment the dinner but that you can eat and they can eat without problems.

Good luck

 

[angieG]

My attitude is something along the lines of you wouldn't suggest someone with a nut allergy eat nuts, so why should someone with a sugar allergy eat carbs that turn to sugar?
If you explain to them how you feel if you eat too much of the wrong things and the possible long term complications I think if they are good understanding friends they will work with you to deal with the meals.
Good luck.
Angie

 

[Gratope]

Thanks you guys.

 

[RussG]

Hi Graham,

From my point of view, there's nothing wrong with saying to your friend that you're still getting your head round diabetes and what it means to you, so they'll just have to bear with you for a bit whilst you work out what's best to eat for your long term health.

I think repeated comments that it's 'all in your head' probably need refuting once and then leaving alone and not engaging with them. Fundamentally it just comes down to saying 'no thanks' as politely as possible. People might try and argue with 'I can't have that' but they generally can't with 'I don't want any'.

You could also try emphasising the things you can eat more of - e.g. just a few potatoes please but can I have loads of brocolli, it's lovely etc. Sanober's idea of taking a veg accompaniment is also a great one.

 

[Gratope]

Actually they are very good hosts, they usually put the main entree ( meat or fish ) on the plate, everything else is in split serving dishes and you just help yourself. I am fine with that as I am a veggie nut anyway. I usually have only a few potatoes, bolied or roast. Always been OK after.
Its when his missus is working late and he makes something and invites me over, like bubble and squeak ( mash with all the leftover veg. ) When I say , no thankyou, he says , you ate ok yesterday, it must be in your head. I like the idea of not engaging him again though, I have told him its too much mash/carbs thats making me ill, so thats it.

 

[catherinecherub]

Once you get your meter you will be able to tell your neighbours that you have tested certain foods and some send your blood sugars too high. Explain that before you had the meter you were doing the best that you could but were not seeing the true picture because you were unable to test your response.
I think they mean well but haven't got a clue about food issues and diabetes.
I am sure they wouldn't expect vegetarians to eat meat products.