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Message: <blockquote data-quote="catherinecherub" data-source="post: 269070">Hi Helen,You are suffering from reactive depression, reacting to a situation in your life that makes you feel helpless.  You are not alone but the difference is that you have not sought help for this treatable condition and have let it go on.  This is not your fault as you probably have not realised that it gets worse if you do not seek help.  It will pervade your thoughts night and day as you describe if you do not seek help.  Please seek the help you so desperately need right now.  Life will become bearable pretty quickly and you will get to feel a whole lot better after a while.There is no shame in being depressed and all diabetic patients should be offered psychological help as part of their treatment.  When you see a HCP, unless you open up it is difficult for them to help you in the best way possible.  Depression does seem to carry a stigma which is a shame but speaking to the right people will make you wonder why you didn't seek help earlier.Rather a silly analogy but here goes.  If you had a boiler that had a red light showing and there was no hot water in your house what would you do?    I bet you would call a plumber or friend who could sort it out.  Depression is no different, you need outside help to fix it, you cannot do it on your own.  Exercise will lift it for a short period as will the company of friends but it will still be there nagging away and you do need professional help.The diagnosis of diabetes means that you are a diabetic no matter how much you do not want to be.  You can accept it, rebel against it, ignore it, control it, let it live with you or turn your back on it and pretend it does not exist, the choice is yours and you do have a choice.  The only way forward is to accept it, mange it to the best of your ability and move on.  You have become stuck and it must be a horrible place to be so please seek some help a.s.a.p. so that you can be the person you were before diagnosis.  The only difference will be that you are the same person who has a chronic condition that is well controlled and does not impact on your day to day living.Everyone who has answered this thread wants the best for you, they really do as we do not like to see one of our own feeling like this.  Yes, you are one of us and we try and help each other, it is part of being a community.We all care about you Helen, sending you hugs, ((((())))) and hope all posts will help you decide the way forward for you.Take care,CC.</blockquote>

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