So this must be "diabetic burnt-out"

[Revontuli]

I've had T1 diabetes for a year now. My previous 2 HbA1c results were very good. There were times that I felt very tired of it, but it didn't take longer than maybe 2 weeks. But this time, it feels very different.

It's been 2 months or so, I have lost all my control over diabetes. I don't check my blood sugar regularly, I postpone injecting and then will, of course, get highs. I was at a language school, sometimes would get up later than usual and then had to eat at school. It started to become a habit to eat first and then inject. But then it turned out that I usually forget injecting.

In the mornings, when my blood sugar is around 4 or 5, I skip injecting just because I eat one slice of rye-bread and it has around 15 carbs. But in the long run, I guess it's had bad effects on my blood sugar.

I make mistakes, knowing the results I will get. And then I feel so guilty and I live with the fear of death, every single day. I always think that I'll end up having horrible complications. And a few weeks ago, I got this urinary infection. Now I all feel that I definitely screwed up.

My blood sugar is not always high, but I have these swings very often lately. It won't go always straight.

And today I have realized something that has made me feel so sad and LONELY. Before my diagnosis, I had so many problems. I'm an immigrant in a different country and my doctor was so idiot not to understand anything wrong with me. So, I was diagnosed when I went to my home country for holiday. My family was shocked to see me having lost 15 kilos and how sick I looked.

So now, even though I have regular check-ups, they won't trust my treatment here and I know they'll get panicked if I tell about these to them. I know they care for me and they get worried after that horrible experience, but they need understand that I'm here, in a different country, this is my illness and I am responsible for it.

And my sister was so shocked when I told her that I can eat sweets in moderate amounts.

I'm sorry for this long and maybe boring post(and also my not very good English)... But I just felt so lonely and thought only people with whom I have something in common can understand how this really is...

 

[philchap]

Hi, don't let it get you down, make the effort to test you blood sugar levels and do not miss injections, for most of us it's up to yourself to keep a good control of diabetes, if we don't try and keep good control we will get complications, I've been type 1 since 1967 and sometimes I've been no angel but soon realized that my health is in my hands, I work and lead a full as life as possible, when I was a teenager I used to think I wouldn't reach the age of 30 but I'm still going strong at 52, so good luck and say to yourself I can beat this. All the best. Phil

 

[DanniP]

Hiya

It's never too late to start getting good control again. I had (or at least I guess I had) awful control whilst at University for 3 years. I just wanted to fit in and forget my diabetes, and whilst I did my injections I never checked my levels and just guessed doses. So to be fair I have no idea what my control was like. Since then I've grown up a lot and realised that ultimately it is down to me to sort out my health. I have done a lot of research about the condition, which despite having had for 11 years there was still lots I didnt know or hadn't bothered to ask about.

I found the first thing that helped me feel more in control was to start doing my levels 5 times a day again. Even if they are high it immediately makes you feel better as you can start to rectify them with more insulin, or less if your levels are low. Once I started doing that I felt a lot more in control and that led to me feeling better about the whole situation of being diabetic.

The fact that you recognise you aren't looking after yourself is the first step, now you just need to move forward. Don't make yourself feel guilty, we all have times where our control lapses but like I said earlier its not too late to make changes and by gaining your control back you'll begin to feel so much more positive.

Sorry for the ramble but I wish you the best of luck.

 

[Revontuli]

Hello everyone,

Thank you for your support and advice...

This is a long journey, there are so many things to learn. I know it's very new for me and I shouldn't be this pessimistic right in the beginning, but it's just so inevitable.

Today I had my check-up. I told my concerns and all my mistakes honestly. I explained how it feels sometimes to inject in public or to face those questions from friends. Another thing that upsets me is when my Lantus dose rises up. To me, it means that things are not going well, I have bad control.

My HbA1c level is 7.1, a bit higher than previous, which was 6.8. I know it's a tiny difference but it was enough to make me feel disappointed. But my doctor was very positive, he said it's still a very good result and the highs and the change of Lantus dose is very normal. He advised me especially avoiding lows as they might end in coma. He talked very openly, that I have to learn to inject on time, to check my blood sugar on time as I have no other choice and this is my only chance to live. But he was at the same very encouraging.

Today's been better actually, I didn't skip anything. I wish things will be back to normal as soon as possible...

Wishing you all a good day.

 

[philchap]

Glad your feeling better.