Pura Vida
Well-Known Member
Did
I read that sign right?
TOILET
OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR
BELOW.
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
-
In
a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC
WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES
OUT.
------------------------------
------------------------------
-----------------------------
In
a London department
store:
BARGAIN
BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...
------------------------------
------------------------------
-------------------------
In
an office:
WOULD
THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK
OR
FURTHER STEPS WILL BE
TAKEN.
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
------------------------------
---------------
In
an office:
AFTER
TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN
ON
THE DRAINING
BOARD.
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
--
Outside
a second-hand shop:
WE
EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING
YOUR
WIFE ALONG AND GET A
WONDERFUL
BARGAIN?
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
------------------------------
--
Notice
in health food shop
window:
CLOSED
DUE TO ILLNESS...
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
------------
Spotted
in a safari park
I
sure hope so.)
ELEPHANTS,
PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.
------------------------------
------------------------------
---------
Seen
during a conference:
FOR
ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON
THE 1ST FLOOR.
------------------------------
------------------------------
--------------------------
Notice
in a farmer's field:
THE
FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL
CHARGES.
------------------------------
------------------------------
--------------------
Message
on a leaflet:
IF
YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET
LESSONS.
------------------------------
------------------------------
-----------------------
On
a repair shop door:
WE
CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL
DOESN'T WORK.)
Proofreading
is a dying art, wouldn't you
say?
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
--
Man
Kills Self Before Shooting
Wife
And
Daughter
This
one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the
Editorial Room and asked
Who wrote this. It took
two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was
reading
Was impossible!!! They put
in a correction the next
day..
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
------------------------------
-----------------
Something
Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert
Says
Really?Ya'
think?
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
----------------------
Police
Begin Campaign to Run Down
Jaywalkers
Now
that's taking things a bit
far!
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
---------------------
Panda
Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes
Over
What
a guy!
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
---------------------
Miners
Refuse to Work after
Death
No-good-for-nothing'
lazy so-and-so's!
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
---------------------
Juvenile
Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works better
than a fair
trial!
----------------------------
- ------------------------------ ------------------------------
-----------------------
War
Dims Hope for Peace
I
can see where it might have that
effect!
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
----------------------
If
Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last
Awhile
Ya'
think?!
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
----------------------
Cold
Wave Linked to
Temperatures
Who
would have thought!
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
---------------------
Enfield
( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect
Homicide
They
may be on to something!
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
--------------------
Red
Tape Holds Up New
Bridges
You
mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
--------------------
Man
Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery
Charge
He
probably IS the battery
charge!
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
--------------------
New
Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test
Group
Weren't
they fat enough?!
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
--------------------
Astronaut
Takes Blame for Gas in
Spacecraft
That's
what he gets for eating those
beans!
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
--------------------
Kids
Make Nutritious Snacks
Do
they taste like chicken?
******************************
******************************
********************
Local
High School Dropouts Cut in
Half
Chainsaw
Massacre all over again!
******************************
****************************** ******************************
****
Hospitals
are Sued by 7 Foot
Doctors
Boy,
are they tall!
******************************
****************************** ******************************
*****
And
the winner is...
Typhoon
Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds
Dead
Did
I read that right?
******************************
****************************** ******************************
***
I read that sign right?
TOILET
OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR
BELOW.
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
-
In
a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC
WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES
OUT.
------------------------------
------------------------------
-----------------------------
In
a London department
store:
BARGAIN
BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...
------------------------------
------------------------------
-------------------------
In
an office:
WOULD
THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK
OR
FURTHER STEPS WILL BE
TAKEN.
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
------------------------------
---------------
In
an office:
AFTER
TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN
ON
THE DRAINING
BOARD.
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
--
Outside
a second-hand shop:
WE
EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING
YOUR
WIFE ALONG AND GET A
WONDERFUL
BARGAIN?
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
------------------------------
--
Notice
in health food shop
window:
CLOSED
DUE TO ILLNESS...
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
------------
Spotted
in a safari park
I sure hope so.)
ELEPHANTS,
PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.
------------------------------
------------------------------
---------
Seen
during a conference:
FOR
ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON
THE 1ST FLOOR.
------------------------------
------------------------------
--------------------------
Notice
in a farmer's field:
THE
FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL
CHARGES.
------------------------------
------------------------------
--------------------
Message
on a leaflet:
IF
YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET
LESSONS.
------------------------------
------------------------------
-----------------------
On
a repair shop door:
WE
CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL
DOESN'T WORK.)
Proofreading
is a dying art, wouldn't you
say?
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
--
Man
Kills Self Before Shooting
Wife
And
Daughter
This
one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the
Editorial Room and asked
Who wrote this. It took
two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was
reading
Was impossible!!! They put
in a correction the next
day..
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
------------------------------
-----------------
Something
Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert
Says
Really?Ya'
think?
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
----------------------
Police
Begin Campaign to Run Down
Jaywalkers
Now
that's taking things a bit
far!
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
---------------------
Panda
Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes
Over
What
a guy!
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
---------------------
Miners
Refuse to Work after
Death
No-good-for-nothing'
lazy so-and-so's!
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
---------------------
Juvenile
Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works better
than a fair
trial!
----------------------------
- ------------------------------ ------------------------------
-----------------------
War
Dims Hope for Peace
I
can see where it might have that
effect!
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
----------------------
If
Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last
Awhile
Ya'
think?!
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
----------------------
Cold
Wave Linked to
Temperatures
Who
would have thought!
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
---------------------
Enfield
( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect
Homicide
They
may be on to something!
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
--------------------
Red
Tape Holds Up New
Bridges
You
mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
--------------------
Man
Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery
Charge
He
probably IS the battery
charge!
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
--------------------
New
Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test
Group
Weren't
they fat enough?!
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
--------------------
Astronaut
Takes Blame for Gas in
Spacecraft
That's
what he gets for eating those
beans!
------------------------------
------------------------------ ------------------------------
--------------------
Kids
Make Nutritious Snacks
Do
they taste like chicken?
******************************
******************************
********************
Local
High School Dropouts Cut in
Half
Chainsaw
Massacre all over again!
******************************
****************************** ******************************
****
Hospitals
are Sued by 7 Foot
Doctors
Boy,
are they tall!
******************************
****************************** ******************************
*****
And
the winner is...
Typhoon
Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds
Dead
Did
I read that right?
******************************
****************************** ******************************
***
