Sometimes, just sometimes, it goes wrong. (Low carb, dining out)

Had a dinner last night, with my in-laws. I did my research at home, so I came prepared. Even got the ideas okayed by the one throwing the party a week beforehand, as I knew I'd be ordering a side and be more expensive than the other guests, so offered to pay my own way entirely. I couldn't have possibly prepared more for this, basically. Told the server to hold the fries and just add a side of veg, which was actually on the menu. Girl said the fries were served separately, so someone else could eat them if they wanted. Uh, yeah, but then I have less food and still walk away hungry, as fries are filling... So please include a side of veg, so I have something more to eat thna just the meat. She mentions salad. At this point, I'm like, okay, fine, salad it is, whatever floats your boat and makes you look less like you're about to flee, because I was beginning to feel just like she was. She seemed rather overwhelmed with our massive party of way-too-many-people, and I was at a point where I just really didn't want to be the difficult customer anymore. (But why offer sides of veg, salads and what have you on your menu, if your employees could burst into tears when someone asks for that?)

My plate arrives, and there's no fries, no salad, no veg. But they did add in two massive chunks of bread! How helpful, what glorious initiative! I just stuck with coffee for dessert, that seemed the safest option, haha. Gave the complimentary biscuit to my husband. By the time we got home I was too knackered to make myself something, so I went to bed hungry. Still... The party itself was fun, a good time was had, I finally properly met someone who married into the family two months ago, who to my great delight, swears just as much as I do, and on the way home I made the acquaintance of a little hedgehog, which made me insanely happy.

I know asking for something a little different from the norm is hard. I'm terrified of people, and asking for something a bit quirky can be intimidating. I eat out a lot though, and it very, very rarely goes wrong like this. (Like when I asked for strawberries with a dab of cream, and got a lot of grapes with a few strawberries on top! Tasty, but needed a good speed-walk after. They meant well.). Sometimes, it goes wrong. The kitchen doesn't get it, the server panics, sometimes someone gets downright rude because they think you want to pay less.... It occurs. But just very, very rarely, in these past 7-something years. And it's not all about the food. It can be a bit of a glitch, but that's all it is, really... It's about the company you're with, spending time together, or going for an after-dinner walk and meeting critters along the way. Enjoying your surroundings like in "Hysterical Dining" venues... It's not as big a deal as what it feels like. (Which I am writing to also remind myself of that fact!). I know it's hard to ask for something that singles you out as "special", "difficult" or "different". But it's just a relatively small part of eating out. Sometimes you do all your research and whatnot, and a server is in her first week and absolutely panics. Sometimes a kitchen doesn't understand the problem and throws in an alternative without asking, that really isn't an option for you. Sometimes it's miscommunication or misunderstanding. Just assume that it's usually all done with the best of intentions, and they're just trying to make their way through life too.

And then get a damned good coffee after. (Plus, make sure you have something quick and easy in the fridge, don't make my mistake! )

Love,
Jo

Antje77 said:

So where's the picture of your new friend?
You know we need it!

Very sound advice. It's also a little easier to not let mishaps like this ruin your mood if you manage to just shrug it off and decide it's nobody's fault really, just the circumstances being wrong. Doesn't work all the time though, sometimes it just means frustration about diabetes.

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I know.... I've just found a lot of members apprehensive about making requests. And yeah, sometimes it goes rather wrong. But it really is the odd moment where it does. Most of the time, it's a-okay, and if its not, it's often not that big a deal. Not always.... But those are rare events.

The best I had on me at the moment was a phone, the lens I had with me wasn't suitable for night photography. (Egel is the Dutch word for hedgehog.)

MrsA2 said:

I have a friend, who finding so many places struggle to provide vegetables, now serves herself a plate of cooked veg just before she leaves home.
Sounds odd, but apparently Jessie Inchau..., the Glucose Goddess, recommends eating a plate of veg as starter. Apparently it helps with bg to separate them before eating protein.
I've no idea if it works but my friend swears it does, and has the added benefit of not confusing staff or appearing odd.

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I think I have no hope in hell of not appearing to be odd, because I most decidedly am, on several fronts, hahaha. But yes... That does sound like a bit of a plan... One I hope to remember should I go someplace unfamiliar, next time. Thanks! <3

Lamont D said:

I have stayed in many hotels and restaurants.
And found that if you actually talk to the chef or head of kitchen, they are very willing to oblige your wishes!
it is the ones were it is cooked pre service or some public houses that seem to be a bit dodgy. How can you preprepare salad with either dressing or oils? That has happened many times with me!
Similar is a buffet, without meat and the salad bowl is covered with stuff? Just what do you eat?

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Here in the Netherlands, dressing at a buffet is quite often served separately, because you can put the salad of your liking together entirely.... Or not, and then, yeah, it's a problem. Sometimes there's a tiny little daub of dill-honey/mustard-honey dressing and I don't really sweat the small stuff. The drenching is a problem though, but that's what the occasional after-dinner speed walks are for. There's special buffets with Dutch "stamppotten", spud-based mashed up stuff with carrots, sauwerkraut and whatnot. There's exactly nothing I can eat at one of those. I just assume I'll come away hungry if I can have no hand in the menu, and have something in the car if there's no avoiding it. Just fill up with coffee. Needless to say, I love a BBQ!

Sometimes it comes down to me having to go eat elsewhere, like our holiday a few years ago. The tip I didn't leave at the first venue, was given to the next, (and doubled!), as they were accommodating.

Mr Hairyman said:

I find the most fun and games come when I try to order a Cooked (Irish or English) breakfast. I ask them if I can hold the Hash Browns, Toast, Beans and Black Pudding, and ask what I can have instead.
For me, Hash Browns are top tier and thus equal to Sausage or Bacon, but I normally just end up with eggs or mushrooms as a replacement.
I did have one positive experience as I went through this negotiation with a waitress, and she came back to ask me if I had allergies or was on Keto - because the Sausages had flour in them - she checked the carb quantity on them! Above and beyond waitressing!

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I love it when they actually know a thing or two about our wacky low carb world!

Lamont D said:

When I visited Arnhem, I stayed with a family who had a curious dinner ingredient, something that I used to use with roast pork. Apple sauce, it had a sweeter taste and the jar was huge! Spooned out and a dollop into the mix of everything on the plate. I tried it, it was tasty with spuds.
Never mind the chocolate sprinkles, sweet things everywhere including the beer.
Went to a Chinese help yourself restaurant, that was filling and meaty, chat sui particularly!

Then Antwerp was an Argentine and Brazilian restaurant. Wow!
Plenty of griddles around!

Sausages in Germany, do they have low carb with all those varieties?

And the kebabs in Greece, find a good restaurant and a zero carb laden meat feast is truly possible.
Steak kebab is a dream done on an open flame.

An English breakfast should not be standard fayre, and one ssussge, as long as it isn't full of rubbish and mainly meat, showing be a problem. Watch out for scrambled eggs, if your not sure, ask for a poached egg.
Hungry now! Mushrooms, tomatoes and onions with bacon and egg, is brilliant!

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Now I am hungry and eager to travel, hahaha! Not all sausages are low carb, but if i go for a currywurst with the somewhat sugary sauce (without the bread), I don't spike as I walk it off anyway. Argentine grills are everywhere if you know to look for them, thank heavens not just in Antwerp. And yes, we have ridiculously sweet apple sauce.... And some'll put it in everything, or hate it. My husband loves it, opens a massive jar, has a single scoop, and then forgets about the jar until there's blue hair in it, and I toss it in the trash again, haha.

Oh, the joys of food...

Angela64 said:

I find it very difficult, vegans, vegetarians, gluten free catered for but not low carb diabetics Not even considered. I’m thinking it’s because ppl only know that diabetics inject ‍ I’m at a weeks all in course. They were aware a yr ago of my low carb protein needs and they had not planned for me, they were reminded week b4 even. The first 3 days nightmare and BG lowering each night making me anxious. I’d even got the week’s menu and x’d out all I couldn’t eat to show them, still no solution. So had to have words with manager and has improved slightly but nothing other than main meal, no fruit or dessert considered

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I'm so sorry you've got to deal with this...! Big hugs!

AloeSvea said:

Yeah - I totally relate to the low-carb dining out experience being really challenging.

I have found two strategies to be really game-changing at the ordering stage (either to waiting staff, or directly to chefs in smaller places).

One is I just say, after finding out what has added sugar to what could be a great low- carb option, "I'm really sorry about this - I have diabetes. So I have way too much sugar in my blood already and I can't add any more to it without it affecting my lifespan!" No one argues with me, thank goodness.

My country is a high blood glucose dysregulation country - estimated at a third of all people, so most people understand a bit about it, and many cafe owners now in the biggest city, Auckland, are Asian or Middle Eastern, and definitely Indian - all places with high levels of type two nowadays, or at least - prediabetes. I am finding, nine years post diagnosis, that many cafe and restaurant staff have some form of blood glucose dysregulation themselves now, or a close relative who does, which matches the stats. So - much greater understanding.

The second one I do if I am feeling in the mood - I apologise for elaborate ordering by saying I am mildly OCD, (Rightly or Wrongly.) and make all the condiments on the side. Everyone knows about OCD, and the wonderful Sally character in the classic 'When Harry Met Sally' movie did a wonderful thing in normalising putting everything (for us - potentially dodgey with hidden added sugar) - on the side. This strategy has gone a very long way I must say. As a mental disorder - folks are very kind and understanding, and it has been a fantastic shorthand.

So when I sit there tasting the condiments on the side for sugar (which there invariably is), and leave it - no one says a thing and treats me kindly.

What I have had less success with is with my 'deconstructing' my order, in order to reduce/eliminate the sugar and carbs. I've had some awful experiences where I have been told off by cooks and waiting staff for leaving the fries, and taking the buns off burgers and leaving them on the plate. (Which is where, from one cook, I got the word'deconstructing' my food from. I never went back to that cafe, of course.) As I paid the full price I found this quite dreadful, and disturbing, which is one of the reasons I always explain with the T2D, and depending on how jolly I feel - the OCD.

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Sometimes I explain, especially with very young servers who seem to know basically nothing of diets and special requests, as they've just started the job, by saying I'm a type two diabetic.... I love bread/fries/whatever, but then my blood glucose gets so high you'd have to carry me out of here. My legs feel rubbery if I shoot up suddenly, so I'll get wobbly at worst; but that still looks like I'm decidedly drunk, so it's close enough to the truth. I like your methods!