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Starting to break a little.

RosieDred

RosieDred

Well-Known Member
Messages
289
Location
South Wales
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
I was supposed to go wedding dress shopping today, which I was very excited for. I'm in the middle of a week off work, which again I've been looking forward too.

But now my mother is in the mental health ward of the hospital under a section 136 after a frenzied search for her (myself and my partner and the police) on Tuesday night led to her being sectioned. She was suicidal though not planning on acting on this.

I already have my 12 year old sister living with me as my mother had a complete breakdown in January. My 14 year old sister is currently with my nan but I'm not sure how long she will manage her as she has aspergers, ODD and ADHD. She frequently runs off and gets into trouble and goes missing. She was brought home by police 27 times in 6 weeks and has been sectioned under the mental health act 3 times. There were queries of psychosis but that doesn't appear to be the issue.

It was just a matter of time before my mother completely broke down and now it has happened. I'm glad she is where she can get help. She also had an eviction notice through a few days before this all happened so that was worrying her.

I have spent the past 2 days on the phone to the surgery, camhs, family members, social services, housing association and stuff trying to organise things and cancel/reschedule any appointments.

I'm not really expecting anything from posting this, I think I just need to get it out that I am frustrated, tired and finding it quite difficult to motivate myself and keep my happiness levels nice and high. I am holding it together for the most part, though I did break a little earlier and literally just sat on the floor and had a cry for a few minutes.

I then pulled myself together, got myself dressed and made some lunch. The issue now is that doing that used up all the motivation and energy I was able to drag up and now I don't feel like moving off the sofa even though I have a long list of things to do.

Sorry this is so long. I tend to ramble sometimes.


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You seem to have a lot on your plate, but you also seem to be doing a grand job..........despite feeling your not...

Stay strong.....
 
Rosie I'm sorry you're having a **** time. One thing you should be proud for helping your Mum.

I know it's not easy as I've been there. You will have your down times but just remember if you hadn't stepped up things could've got worse.

If you need to rant feel free if it helps.

Good luck & don't feel alone we're always here for support. You can always pm me if you'd prefer.

:(:(:(:):)

T2, Metformin 850 Mg (1 tablet twice daily), venlafaxine 75mg (1 tablet daily), buscopan 10mg (2 tablets 4 times daily)
 
Well my goodness, that is one hell of a lot to put on anyone's plate, but especially someone so young. You are doing remarkably well holding it all together and must be a very, very strong young woman. Allow yourself a little cry once in a while if you makes you feel better! I am sending every good thought and wish to you that your circumstances greatly improve in the near future. I am in awe of your fortitude! I am sure when the dust settles, your mother and sisters will be so grateful to you for being the rock in the family.
 
Well done, you are coping so well with so much. Don't beat yourself up for feeling like this, it is perfectly normal. You may feel better if you manage to face doing things one at a time now, and then getting back to that sofa. (that's what I do when everything is too much for me) Be proud of what you have already managed to do. You will get there...wherever 'there' is.

Thinking of you
 
Rosie,
you are doing so well, you should be very proud of yourself,sorry we cant help physically but we are all here for you ((((((((((hugs)))))))))
 
Wow, thank you all so much. The support on this forum is amazing and I really appreciate all of your words. I felt better just after posting and decided to not fight the tiredness so I stuck on my onesie, brought my duvet downstairs and fell asleep watching a kids film on the sofa lol.

I just get a bit overwhelmed sometimes but I don't wanna show the cracks to much because my 12 year old sister is very sensitive, my 14 year old sister is extremely fragile, my nan is highly anxious regarding all of this and obviously my mother is in a dark place. I need to stay together and this forum helps keep me strong so thank you all.

Going to see my mother in an hour, she said she's had an anxious day today. I just wish I could do more even though I know I'm doing quite a bit, I wish I could make them all feel better


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Oh Wow. You have so much on your plate just now trying to make things right for everybody. I just want to give you a great big hug and wish that there was something practical that we could do to help you instead of just listening and writing.
I really hope that you come on here and just let it all out when it's getting too much.
Love and hugs coming at you over the ether x
 
i am in awe, cant even find the words, your amazing, if what doesnt kill you makes you stronger, you are gonna be mighty

.....or dead lol
 
Thank you both. My mother was very anxious when I went to see her but holding together just about.

However she called me about half an hour ago to say that my 14 year old sister has been picked up by police and taken down to the same ward on a section 136. They won't let my mother see her or tell her anything so I rang the ward. They couldn't tell me the circumstances leading up to the arrest and section.

They also said the doctor and social worker have just gone in to assess my sister and that they will call me to let me know the outcome. Could take half an hour to an hour.

This is going to be a long wait. It just seems to all happen at once.


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Your having an awful time Rosie, try and stay strong and do ask for help if things become too much for you.
 
Oh crikey, not another worry. I really, really hope that you get some news quickly so that you at least know what is going to be happening and can try and get yourself organised. I guess at least your sister is safe right now, although of course it's not a wonderful situation.
Have you got somebody at your back supporting you hun?
I know you are doing everything you can for your family, but you need to look after yourself too and that means having support while you are coping with all this.
Thinking of you loads. Keep us informed won't you x
 
Thank you. My sister is okay, she was threatening self harm but didn't actually harm herself. They assessed her as okay to go home but obviously my mother isn't there so she's gone to her other sister's house to stay and she is okay.

I have my partner with me who is a big support and I'm very grateful to have him. My youngest sister who lives with me is very upset about the situation. I've done all I can to reassure her and she's snuggled up in bed now. Which is where I can go now I know everyone is at least safe. I'm so tired and keep having hypos which is tiring me out even more.

Thank you for your kind words, it really helps having people to talk/type to :)



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So glad to know your sister's ok and that you are home and have your partner for support.
Hope that your Mum gets the help she needs and that you can now get some much needed rest..
Look after yourself won't you x
 
RosieDred, we wonder at times why we go through such severe trials in life at times and wonder how we will ever
cope with it all.
You, are coping and dealing extraordinary well with the trial you are going through at the moment, and it is a trial isn't it.
The remarkable thing is, you had all that strength of character deep within you ready to surface at a moments notice, should the need ever arise.....Incredible.

You are one very special young lady, you can see the members who've replied so far, are showing you that through
their kind, caring replies.
What an inspiration and encouragement you are to all of us.

Continue you to post updates, it will help you, it will also help and encourage others who may be going through a
trial who simply cannot bring themselves to freely post as you have.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Kind personal regards.

willie. x
 
What an amazing young lady you are Rosie so much on your plate but keeping it together for your family I hope your mum will soon be better and that your sister is now ok. Pleased you have your partner for support keep strong and our thoughts are with you, Come on here and rant as much as you like there is always someone to listen and take some time for yourself you really need that
 
Thanks again, your words really help keep me going :)

I have spoken to my 14 year old sister this morning and she is okay and in a much better frame of mind. I have also spoken to my mother, who is not in a good place at all. She has been self harming and pulling her hair out. She is stuttering and repeating words over and over so getting through a simple conversation was a bit difficult. She is going to be reassessed today I hope to god they don't send her home as I just don't think she can function at home the way she is now.

My youngest sister is quietly upset about it, she doesn't ask for help or talk about how she feels. She's a very deep child. I think she is okay though, and I'm doing my best to ease her worries.


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Oh Rosie,

I know we haven't spoken on this site; but I'm so sorry this is all coming down on your head. There is nothing harder to deal with than mental illness in a family. I wish I could do or say something to help you but I know these words, well intentioned as they are, are pretty pitiful compared to what you are dealing with. Keep posting and expressing what's happening and keep strong; you sound it, and that includes crying - only the strong cry and continue; most either try and bottle it up and allow it to eat away at them or collapse in a puddle on the floor.

It's ok to be upset, scared, angry and overwhelmed; those are normal reactions and I hope you and your sisters can help each other.

All the best

Dillinger
 
Thank you Dillinger, your words mean more than you think. I'm not a very sociable person so don't have any friends (which I'm okay with) so having so many people on this forum offer support helps me a great deal. It's nice to be able to get it all out without worrying anyone else. I don't feel so alone knowing that I can come on here whenever I need to :)


Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
 
Rosie, one of the great things about forums is that there is always someone around to reach out to, someone to offer encouraging words when you feel you are all alone. Please remember to take care of *yourself* first and foremost, so that you have the energy and clear mind to deal with everything else. I am glad your partner is there for you. You are an amazing sister and when your two younger ones grow up they will realize (if they don't already) what a constant you are in their lives and how they could always depend on you. It is too much for any one person to handle, but you are doing so with the utmost maturity, strength and grace. *big hugs*
 
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