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Starting to break a little.

Can't really add anymore to what's been said. Just remember to take a few minutes for yourself every now and again. A cup of tea, a good cd to listen to, a hot bath. Take care and I'm sure you will all come through this soon.
 
I couldn't 'read and run'.
As others have said, be very proud and hold your head high.
In order to continue the amazing work you are doing, you must pace yourself get some rest every so often. When you can, allow yourself to cry and let the demons out!

In the future you will realise what an achievement all this has been.

With very best wishes. Gill
 
Wow You do have a lot to contend with. I think you're doing great. It's tired me out just reading about it all. I wish I could magic it all away for you. Don't worry about things that can be done tomorrow.. let them wait, they'll still be there. Save your energies for the people you love and care for.
Please keep relaxing when you can... sofa, duvet and kids film (perfect combination)
Glad the forum is proving beneficial to you :) xx
 
Thanks everyone. Went to see my mother earlier and she looks terrible. She's clearly been crying all day, her arm looked awful where she had been cutting it and she has a bruise right in the middle of her forehead. She is being reassessed tomorrow and if they decide to keep her in (as they should), they can then keep her for up to 28 days. It is clearly where she needs to be so I hope they keep her there and I hope they can help her.

My partner came home from work just before lunch so he could be around if I needed him, which was nice. Managed to get focused enough to do some cleaning today. The hot bath idea sounds nice, I tend to forget how relaxing a bath can be. Think I'll have snuggle up in the sofa now and then take a nice bath before bed, maybe I will relax a little


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Take care Rosie, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
{{{{{{{ hugs }}}}}}}
Chris X
 
Good grief Rosie I just can't believe all that you have to deal with, it's astronomical! Shakespeare says 'When troubles come they come not single spies but in battalions!' and that's so true for you. Not one or two troubles but cartloads all at once. It's strange too that when we are at our lowest we still find the strength from somewhere to deal with what has to be dealt with.

I admire you and I wish you all the support you need love. I am so glad that you have the support of a decent partner, he must be worth his weight in gold. Like others have said, take care of yourself when you can. It must be so distressing to see your Mum in such a state but like you say, she's in the right place for now.

Keep us updated sweetie, always here for you

xxx
 
Am on the forum because I woke up stressed and could not sleep but reading this makes me feel incredibly humble. Wow! What a truly amazing person you are. It is clear that you are much loved within your family and deservedly so! I hope your mum and sister get the help they need and you manage to get some of the me time you so clearly deserve! Good luck and a really, really big hug!
 
Thanks all, feeling a little calmer today. Today is the day we find out if they are going to keep my mother in, it will be a relief once we know as we just don't know what to organise/sort out until we know for definite.

Gonna blast some music and clean my bathroom today. A sparkling bathroom always makes me feel good :)

Sorry you're feeling stressed scandichic, I hope you feel better soon xx


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I'm going to be honest I can't imagine what you're going through but believe me when I tell you that my hart got broken when I read your story so pls don't hold back and message me in private if you want, my hart will always be open for you. Keep yourself strong never give up because we're all here for you *hugs and kisses*
 
Hi Rosie, hope something has improved by now for you today. You are amazing trouper! And handling and going through all this looking after your diabetes as well makes you a Super Trouper :). Remember as you seem to be the rock that everyone needs at the moment, to put your self first as much as you can so the rock doesn't break.
 
My mother is much the same, had self harmed again yesterday but not today.

My 14 year old sister (I'll call her L) was staying at her aunties house but phoned me crying last night. She was going to stay with her cousin long term but because L told a friend of hers about that the cousin and her partner had had an argument and the partner smashed a wardrobe she told L she's banned from going there because she tell people their business.

Firstly, L has autism and in her head did nothing wrong. Secondly, who in their right mind tells a 14 year old that she is banned from going there when that 14 year old is well aware that the only other viable option is to go into care? It just reminded me how childish and petty that side of her family are anyway. Thirdly, no child should ever be expected to keep secrets about her home life and if she is then her home life clearly isn't what it should be.

We went to pick her up last night and brought her to stay with us along with my 12 year old sister (I'll call her J). It's not a long term solution really as L is not in school and can't be trusted to be alone in the house and I can't afford to not work. But there is not a chance that I am letting her stay with the rest of her family because they're all drunks (literally drink every night) some of them smoke pot and they are all unpredictable and can turn at the drop of a hat. I don't want L living anywhere where she can be kicked out for doing something wrong. That's not how home works.

Took them both out for the day and went bowling just to give them/us a day with no worries. It was nice to let go and see them having fun :)

We are just seeing how the weekend goes for now. I'm back in work Tuesday but I'm hoping I can get the social worker to come out on Monday. Maybe I will have a plan by then ...


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RosieDred said:
My mother is much the same, had self harmed again yesterday but not today.

My 14 year old sister (I'll call her L) was staying at her aunties house but phoned me crying last night. She was going to stay with her cousin long term but because L told a friend of hers about that the cousin and her partner had had an argument and the partner smashed a wardrobe she told L she's banned from going there because she tell people their business.

Firstly, L has autism and in her head did nothing wrong. Secondly, who in their right mind tells a 14 year old that she is banned from going there when that 14 year old is well aware that the only other viable option is to go into care? It just reminded me how childish and petty that side of her family are anyway. Thirdly, no child should ever be expected to keep secrets about her home life and if she is then her home life clearly isn't what it should be.

We went to pick her up last night and brought her to stay with us along with my 12 year old sister (I'll call her J). It's not a long term solution really as L is not in school and can't be trusted to be alone in the house and I can't afford to not work. But there is not a chance that I am letting her stay with the rest of her family because they're all drunks (literally drink every night) some of them smoke pot and they are all unpredictable and can turn at the drop of a hat. I don't want L living anywhere where she can be kicked out for doing something wrong. That's not how home works.

We are just seeing how the weekend goes for now. I'm back in work Tuesday but I'm hoping I can get the social worker to come out on Monday. Maybe I will have a plan by then ...


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RosieDred said:
My mother is much the same, had self harmed again yesterday but not today.

My 14 year old sister (I'll call her L) was staying at her aunties house but phoned me crying last night. She was going to stay with her cousin long term but because L told a friend of hers about that the cousin and her partner had had an argument and the partner smashed a wardrobe she told L she's banned from going there because she tell people their business.

Firstly, L has autism and in her head did nothing wrong. Secondly, who in their right mind tells a 14 year old that she is banned from going there when that 14 year old is well aware that the only other viable option is to go into care? It just reminded me how childish and petty that side of her family are anyway. Thirdly, no child should ever be expected to keep secrets about her home life and if she is then her home life clearly isn't what it should be.

We went to pick her up last night and brought her to stay with us along with my 12 year old sister (I'll call her J). It's not a long term solution really as L is not in school and can't be trusted to be alone in the house and I can't afford to not work. But there is not a chance that I am letting her stay with the rest of her family because they're all drunks (literally drink every night) some of them smoke pot and they are all unpredictable and can turn at the drop of a hat. I don't want L living anywhere where she can be kicked out for doing something wrong. That's not how home works.

We are just seeing how the weekend goes for now. I'm back in work Tuesday but I'm hoping I can get the social worker to come out on Monday. Maybe I will have a plan by then ...


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Just a thought Rosie, and you may have already thought of it, but you could perhaps look into stopping work for a time due to caring for your family as a full time carer and look into receiving carers allowance and Income support as well, which you can get together, your sister L may well be entitled to Disability Living Allowance and because she is needing extra care and vigilance etc. you could be the carer. The same may well apply to your mother when she comes home, she could also be entitled to this allowance for a time. The DLA forms can sometimes be a bit much to fill in especially when your already stressed, but Citizens Advice are very good at helping out with these forms, actually I think they may be going to be called something different from DLA forms soon. A phone/appointment call to citizens advice about all of your situation could be quite helpful. The DLA would be paid to you until L reached 16. This is just a thought, I am sure the very last thing you want to do is give up work, but this other way might be a way of holding things together for a time. Just check out all entitlements before giving up job first though! Hope you don't mind the suggestion, all the best
 
Star7 said:
Just a thought Rosie, and you may have already thought of it, but you could perhaps look into stopping work for a time due to caring for your family as a full time carer and look into receiving carers allowance and Income support as well, which you can get together, your sister L may well be entitled to Disability Living Allowance and because she is needing extra care and vigilance etc. you could be the carer. The same may well apply to your mother when she comes home, she could also be entitled to this allowance for a time. The DLA forms can sometimes be a bit much to fill in especially when your already stressed, but Citizens Advice are very good at helping out with these forms, actually I think they may be going to be called something different from DLA forms soon. A phone/appointment call to citizens advice about all of your situation could be quite helpful. The DLA would be paid to you until L reached 16. This is just a thought, I am sure the very last thing you want to do is give up work, but this other way might be a way of holding things together for a time. Just check out all entitlements before giving up job first though! Hope you don't mind the suggestion, all the best
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Thanks for the help. L is already getting DLA, middle care and lower mobility. And even with carers allowance I still wouldn't be getting nearly the same amount that I would be working full time. I really can't afford to not to work full time and it took me years to find my job I wouldn't want to risk not getting another.

I do appreciate your advice, it's just there are so so many obstacles and I don't know if I can pass through them all.


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Ok trying to organise a meeting with social services to discuss caring for both L and J on a permanent basis and making it official. Apparently they have to assess us to see if we can be kinship carers, but I'm just waiting to hear back from social worker at the moment to find out more info about it. They have a meeting on Thursday to discuss foster care on a national level for L as there is nowhere even a bit close that have her. I don't want her hours away so I really hope they will let me keep them both.

My mother was discharged from the mental health ward yesterday morning but her gp saw her and sent her to see the crisis team who then readmitted her. For how long I don't know but she needs serious help.

I feel like my family is falling apart and I'm desperately trying to hold it together. I'm just glad I have such good support. My auntie has taken L out for the day so I could get on with my phone calls and I'm back in work at 4pm after 9 days off.


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your doing a great job rosie a quote I remembered while reading your story is

'a woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until you put her in boiling water'

Cant remember who said it but I think it applys here. You would make a bloody good brew (us welsh girls do :P) :D xxx
 
Engineer88 said:
your doing a great job rosie a quote I remembered while reading your story is

'a woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until you put her in boiling water'

Cant remember who said it but I think it applys here. You would make a bloody good brew (us welsh girls do :P) :D xxx
Click to expand...
It was Eleanor Roosevelt in 1944


Type 2 diagnosed 24/01/2013.
Novomix 30, Victoza, metformin 2000mg sr (but not taking them as they play havoc with my insides,
 
You seem to be holding it together Rosie, keep on trucking hon. Sometimes there really isn't anything else we can do except get up and get on with it really. There will be light at the end of the tunnel though, one day you will be able to look back on this and realize that you came through it but for now.....keep on trucking ;)

I am glad that your mother was re-admitted, it's what you wanted although it baffles me why they thought she was fit to carry on with ordinary life anyway really. :confused: Let us know how you get on with the social worker, post when you have a moment and good luck getting back to work. I think it's probably a good idea to carry on with that while you can, at least it's normality and I suppose will keep you sane even though it's something else to think about. Take care love. :)
 
How are you doing now Rosie? Have things calmed down a bit yet?

Thinking of you and I hope things are getting a bit better for you and your family.
 
Hi all. My mother was readmitted on the Monday but discharged again on the Tuesday. However, the crisis team and occupational therapist have been seeing her at home and she's actually getting better day by day. It's still going to be a long time until she's fully well but at least she's headed in the right direction now.

Have had a lovely settled week with L, no problems so far. J was excluded from school (I blame lack of autism awareness from the teachers, not J) but we dealt with it. My aunt has been watching L while I've been in work.

Our social worker is off next week but when she returns she is going to start the process of assessing us for long term kinship fostering, so I'm hoping that won't take too long and that we get approved. We have all spent the weekend switching all the rooms around and moving furniture so now L has her own bedroom (with an air bed temporarily) and I switched bedrooms with J so that I could have the furniture from what is now L's room in my bedroom.

It's been a busy and hard weekend but I'm almost done finishing the rooms. Just mine to finish off tomorrow and then I have some sort of order in the house again.

I'm definitely feeling more positive as time goes on. I just really hope we get approved as carers.


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