So sorry for your loss. I've not experienced anything like that but my aunt has. She tells me that she thinks about her son/my cousin Robbie every day and knows that he would want her to be happy in life, so she is, and takes comfort from that. Mind you, she still wants to fecking destroy the guy who ran him over so maybe it's a work in progress.
I was thinking absorption too. Possibly an issue after 19 years. I'm 28 years in, always injected to the side of my stomach, thought I was maybe just putting on a bit of middle aged fat around my tummy, but realised after a bit of palpating that there's that sort of soft avocado feel there, so moved to my stomach proper and am no longer getting the post meal spikes and sudden drops I'd been getting previously.
You could have a look at getting a CGM or a libre and using some sugar surfing tactics
I'm a huge fan of sugar surfing. I went on a DAFNE course last year and they were quite insistent that we only test between meals if feeling hypo and save corrections for mealtimes. That just didn't sound right and it's not what I'd been doing for decades. However, the course aroused my interest in diabetes generally and led me to Stephen Ponder's book Sugar Surfing. It's on Kindle and if you can ignore the constant cheesy American analogies with real surfing which it's littered with, it really brings home the advantages of cgm. Got a Libre a short while later and since then have regularly been tweaking with the occasional 1u and 5gms to the point where I'd actually quite fancy a pump after years of not liking the idea of tubes (omnipod not available in my area, curses). Ironically enough, the hospital where I did DAFNE is a member of a group which publishes literature endorsing Ponder's book so one bit of it is telling me to do one thing, and another to do the opposite!
One of the advantages of the Libre is when I look at the daily graphs over thirty days. I have days when it feels like a constant rollercoaster and I tend to focus on those and feel like I'm not hacking it, but when I see the full thirty day range, it puts it into perspective: there's really only the occasional blip amongst several days in a row of reasonably flat graphs. Without seeing that, I'd probably just be remembering the awkward days. This was a surprise to me, and I hope you get the same if you try the Libre.