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Struggling

@Mike D
I never said they did. I was saying I understand as I had a similar thing happened to me. I know they have nothing to do with that day.

I said I regretted it hence why i went back to apologize and he was fine with my apologise and said everything’s fine

Also I don’t get why your getting mad. It’s only soemthing minor. You can’t really damage a car badly by kicking it. All I would of done of these was damage was stratches and stratches can be painted over so only cost like £5/10, it’s not like the damage makes it unsafe to drive because nothing important got damaged and it’s not like a hurt anyone as I haven’t done any assault attack stabbing I’m saying this as there’s a lot worse things people can do. . All that would hurt would be their feelings
 
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But Lulu it’s not all ok. You are upset, lashing out, not looking after yourself. There is a bigger issue here than an apology. You need help to cope.
 
Diakat said:
But Lulu it’s not all ok. You are upset, lashing out, not looking after yourself. There is a bigger issue here than an apology. You need help to cope.
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I know. I’ve just had to many things going on. What happened to me with my dad and a child was annoying and unfair I got into a lot of trouble in all school years as I only felt safe at school back then and even now a days even when I’m not doing anything I get targeted. I’m afraid to go out most of the time due to the recent incidents I had. I litreally only spend my time in one area of town becuse I’m too afraid to in other areas. I also keep getting dreams of the people that started targeting me finding out where I work volunteer too the point they hurt someone or cause trouble at my work or volunteering. This is also reason I lash out. Due to my anger and thoughts building up. The truth is the thoughts have gotten to the point where I’ve been thinking of killing myself by jumping in the local river because I don’t see the point of living in fear all the time and getting in trouble when the people targeting me get away with it doing something physical is what distracts myself eventually from those thoughts. Diabeties doesn’t help as that just adds to my negative thoughts. It’s like the only things that aren’t against me are animals

t
 
Animals can be a wonderful means of calming us down. There are other coping processes that you can be taught as well. Life can be hard sometimes but please talk about these feelings to people close to you, to the Samaritans or to your diabetes nurse.
 

Hi Lulu,

Do you have any idea how much a decent proffessional "panel beater" & car body shop sprayer costs..?

While we're on the subject, I've done a bit of car body panel repair work myself.. Back in the day, about your age with the first cars. Lol, younger, I was fixing my own pushbike.
There can be a fair bit of prep work & time involved learning.. But he results can be quite rewarding.

As I mentioned earlier, not everyone is as forgiving, should your temper get the better of you.
& you may just encounter someone with a worst affliction with the "red mist" as a result..

A little unothadox, but there are other outlets for your frustration. "Slam dancing" or "moshing" at a rock/punk/metal concert is pretty good "vent." There is an "etiquette" in the pit.
But you will meet others just enjoying the moment & letting go of their own issues in the music.
 
Jaylee said:
Hi Lulu,

Do you have any idea how much a decent proffessional "panel beater" & car body shop sprayer costs..?
Click to expand...

A LOT more than the bike @Jaylee ... scatch a Bentley and see what happens to your bank account.
 

Hi. You are not alone, but you must find an alternative to your outbursts. Visit your doctor. You may be able to receive appropriate medication that can help with mood swings. (I did!). It hasnt solved my particular problem but it certainly has helped in calming me and my moods swings are much reduced which helps me cope with all the other stresses around. There are lots of avenues of help. Talking about it is a good start. good luck. Xx

Ed by moderator to remove sales link
 
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We are all responsible for our actions in my book and can always try and find excuses for clearly poor behaviour, your BS levels need controlling along with your attitude and anger in my opinion.... how far will this anger go if left unchecked.... and as people said on here.. an apology doesnt wash ... just my opinion and i cant flower it up im sorry... im sure other people have your condition but dont go around lashing out... i sympathise with whats hapened in the past but heaping misery on strangers to ease your anger issues isnt the answer... step at a time.. control your diabetes..your diet and lifestye .. then row back on the anger.. most importantly.. get help
 
Something I forgot to mention a month ago my phycologist (who j do see very 3 weeks) told me I have PDA (Patjolpgical demand avoidance) which means I struggle with some demands and if I get too anxious it causes me to set of my fight flight response obviously when I sense this I don’t want to cycle off because In case I do something stupid and I don’t want to get physical to a person. So I have to kick what Ever is around. Which is why I can’t stop when people ask me too or don’t answer there questions as they feel like demands and when incidents happen it’s the reason I don’t know what to do Once my flight or fight response goes down I can eventually explain but then it’s ussually to late.

the awkard thing is on Thursday this caused an issue with the shopping centre I’ve never told any authority about above because I don’t want to get targeted by someone who overhears but I said something to myself but someone thought j said it to their child when I didn’t. So they reported it and now they’ve banned me for no reason in my opinion. I refused to leave as it felt like a demand and I could tell I was about to get physical which I didn’t want to do so I locked myself in the toilet try to get rid of response. In a couple of mins I had settled down and well the local Buissness warden ended up getting called. He understands as he works with the local police force and their aware off. My condition. I was able to explain and he said he would talk to the security and see if they can just give me another chance or at least let me meet my
Friend I had already arranged too today. In the meantime he just asked me to leave whilst he tries to sort it out. I did

now it’s Saturday I have no clue what to do as I don’t know the outcome. So unless the same wardens around then I can just ask becaue I want to avoid getting in more trouble. If he’s not in I feel like I should just go in and if nothing happens that means the warden was able to let them. If they ask me to leave I’ll just ask to to speak to the manager. As far as I know at workplaces they can’t refuse if you ask to speak to the manager. To explain the situation

it’s not just that it’s literally the only place I feel safe due to incidents happening in other areas of town.

I don’t know what you think of this
 
I don’t know what you think of this.

You've been banned for your complete lack of control and that rests with you. The consequences could well be severe if you meet the wrong person not prepared to listen to your excuses.

Lashing out is the WORST crime of all and garners you no sympathy for your actions.

 
I didn’t do anything physical it’s and I was talking to myself. You don’t understand read the post again I got banned unfairly
 
That's your view of the events. Have a nice day ... I have better things to do
 
Can you simply go and ask? Or give them a phonecall to ask if they know wether you can go in?
 
Mike D said:
That's your view of the events. Have a nice day ... I have better things to do
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Mike your responding to a thread in the ‘Emotional and mental health’ section, titled ‘struggling’.

Either show some compassion or do not respond - until you have walked in someone else’s shoes you will not understand their situation.
 

I feel we are all responsible in creating & maitaining a safe place whilst out in public.
Try adopting a demenour of calm response by non agressive reaction to stress.
If an issue arises? smile & adopt a simalar non aggressive posture a little like the Doctors in your profile picture. Keep you hands by your side open. Never clench a fist.
Listen first, then measure your response if needed to.

With regards to returning back to the shopping precinct. If you are fully awair of what went wrong to cause your ejection from the property.
Try & avoid further repeats of conflict. & lead by example with the above in a peaceful return.
 
I find that i might be similar to this if not I'd say i definitely understand it from a different point.

especially when I have a Rage episode brought on by stress, pain, Financial insecurities, no social or economic mobility other health problems.

i call it Diabetic Rage. I don't personally don't cope well with pain or being ill.

When a person is set off on one, telling them to stop breaking things or lashing out is absolutely impossible, so telling someone to stop doing something is out of the question.

That voice of reasoning completely dissappears, for me personally its equivalent of having a switch that doesn't work.

No matter how hard you try, its equivalent of having a muscle spasm but this time its not jusy your emotion, every action is made from emotion. Once the storm passes thats when guilt sets in.

Count to 10? Don't work
Try all kinds of mental exercise but then stress can aggravate it more but its not always the case.

Though I have expressed an interest in boxing...the thought of knocking some stupid idiot out gets me quite excited, Shame though, The gyms are over priced and Can leave one with no outlet for this burst of energy from emotion.

So when you have no way to let this energy out, you take it out on things, people, ive had the police called on me, worse thing they could do because they aren't trained to deal with mental health.


But you know, people talk about depression and other mental health issues like its the next fashionable topic, untill they're met with someone whose mind has already crossed that line then its stupid unhelpful responses like.

"you're in control. Dont do that. Take responsibility for your actions"



And now have wound myself up lol

In the end though, really do need help, an outlet to vent out frustrations on, and people who really understand what its like or what goes through someone's mind.

Not saying these actions are fine or justified in anyway, but this is a way of crying out for help and the body saying something is massively wrong.

Ignore me if this is irrelevant and not on point, I tried.
 
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Hi @Razzamuffin ,

Actually, I feel you came along at the right time!

I believe you are a car owner yeah? (I know you have a licence.) & by your own admittance, you "rage."

So, let's put this scenario out there.
Looking out the window one day you spot someone putting the boot in on your property..?
 

Was a car owner, thing broke down and what not 2 years ago ish but thats besides the point

If I saw someone putting the boot on my property then they best be having a Rage episode because id actually try and calm them down, things can be replaced, fixed and I can easily Recognise different types of anger in people

Or they best be a group of idiots that would give me an excuse to order a Sledgehammer.

So this can go either way lol.
 
@Jaylee, I understand


Lol I get what you mean, I don’t drive but I Cycle a lot back last year when I got knocked off my bike due to a driver reversing into me. This did get reported but he never got traced and I stupidly forgot to get his details that day. I didn’t make a big deal out of it as I didn’t get hurt and everyone’s makes mistakes. My mum offered to pay my bikes damage which was £15 that day and well that driver has dents in his car that he has to Pay which was his fault. This would of been different If I got hurt, I could tell in his face that he was sorry. Although he never apologized. But becuse I only had pain in my ankle but too the point I couldn’t walk on it. Bystanders called paramedics (bexusse it felt very painful and i couldn’t walk on it) I got checked and the paramedics didn’t say anything just to keep an eye on it. (My blood sugar didn’t help I was perfectly fine before and well I guess your sugar gets messed up in those incidents. I could hardly talk to anyone. ) I guess i just twisted it. Anyway I haven’t been hit since luckily. However when people decide to damage my bike on purpose that just annoys me and like the 4th I don’t know why I didn’t call the police straight away. I guess I was afraid I would get in trouble as when I saw my bike was damage d I kicked there car. They originally tried to assault me but I used my bike as a block and I told them if you do anything, I’ll damage your. I wasn’t going too I just wanted them to realise. However they didn’t and them started damaging my bike and tried to steal it either they saw my sticker on the bike saying it was registered, it was already damaged so they couldn’t ride and as soon as I said I had a camera they damaged it more
And drove off I did kick there car as a
Warning. (My friends said they were probaly drunk as it turns out to be the same car that Almost hit me before but didn’t luckily) They didn’t say anything. For some reason mt fight response got set off and then I just started kicking things around as i was struggling to
Talk etc.. it was my way off asking for help so I suppose this was more rage or both but was able to eventually explain after they drove off but by that point I was too late. It’s lucky my road bike wasn’t expensive as some road bikes are over a million pounds. I got mine lucky when it was on sale. Unfortunately reporting this the case got filed because I didn’t know the person and didn’t know if there were any witnesses even though the incident Is on camera and I got his number plate. Yeah it costs me £181.99+ a new water bottle + a new saddle so that’s around £200 or more. I haven’t got the new water bottle or saddle yet. But things could off been worse they could of hurt me if I didn’t use my bike as a block.



I get what your saying but as long as there’s no damage as far as I know it’s not illegal if there not driving and there’s no damage. Unless there’s a law I don’t know.

Interesting, it’s hard to tell if it’s that or my PDA or both when police have become involved. but perhaps it’s both. Because if things happen not to the point that it sets my flight or fight response off. That’s probably why but when it does set my flight fight response off that’s when I think the PDA gets in the way.

. Before and when I have eventually been able to explain to police they seem to be aware it’s soemthing to do with my mental health that’s why I’m seeing a phycologist as they referred me and then my mum knew one and it’s also why I’ve never been arrested but I’m on my last chance now. So it seems like some officers are more aware then others


You know there’s worse damage you can do anyway. I assume the more important areas like the glass areas and lights are a lot more expensive as you wouldn’t be allowed to drive without them. Like it would be worse to damage a shops or house window. But anyway I’ve never damaged anything as far as I know except for tiny stratches when i get stratches on my bike I just paint over them or ignore them hence why I said stratches can
Be painted over because they can be. I’m not saying it’s right but I’m saying there worse damage you can do. I get damaged are classed as criminal damage but if you don’t damage anything how Is it illegal?
 
Im lost

You been hit by drivers and you have an episode by kicking their cars as a response?
 
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