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Type 1 Support from family/friends

Well, I must be blessed too. As a child, my mother was T1 too, so carb counting was just regarded as normal.

As an adult, I do all the insulin and carb calculations, but my husband is enormously supportive by
1) rescuing me from hypos. OK, it's annoying when he asks me if I'm hypo when I'm not, particularly if he's doing it as a result of me feeling stressed or annoyed (which he assumes is a hypo) but he's rescued me from many hypos over the years and got me through two T1 pregnancies during which I had very limited hypo awareness.
2) supportive about food. He does most of the cooking in our house and will tell me what he's put in it so I can do the calculations and won't give me stuff that's too carby. Instead of telling me that food's almost ready he shouts "pre-bolus"
3) is generally supportive about my diabetes while recognising that it's up to me to do the calculations. He knows I can't go out without doing blood tests and finding my glucose tablets, and is patient about it.

Just realised that we both forgot our wedding anniversary again (35 years last Sunday, and we almost always forget it) so that's 40 years since we first met and at least 39 years of diabetic support. (We started going out together a year after we first met).
 
Hi,

Support? None, I am accepted. The only D kid in the village. Just left to do what I gotta do.

My wife, she's great. Mutual understanding & respect. But then, the union would not have happened otherwise.
She knows enough in the unfortunate event of the wings dropping off the aircraft. (Where the "emergency exits" are.)

But other than that? Just as it was as a kid back in 76. The "care package" is souly my responsibility.
 

Thanks @db89
 


@EllieM that's brilliant to hear.

Huge congratulations on your wedding anniversary too!
 


Thanks @Jaylee
I like your metaphor of the wings falling off!
 
Manfer87 said:
Thanks @Jaylee
I like your metaphor of the wings falling off!
Click to expand...

Hi Manfer, I reckon a lot of it is to do with what our partners are like personality wise in the first place, along with our own personalities. Becca's partner and herself sound fabulous! My partner is also fabulous but he is what you might call the strong, silent type as I am I to a large extent. It would drive me mad if he even attempted to mollycoddle me or 'interfere' by asking 'Can you have that'! I know, I know, we want it all ways but what I do know is that my husband collects my prescriptions, takes me to the hospital (I don't want him in the appointments getting in the way though, that's just my way and his), does everything I ask him in relation to my diabetes and I know underneath he is worried sick about potential repercussions. Is your husband usually supportive in most other things and kind and loving to you? If he is then I say give him a break over this, he may just be finding it difficult to accept that you have a lifelong condition (even after so long) especially when he gets bombarded with 'you'll pop off at 65, with no limbs and blind'! every time diabetes is mentioned. x
 
Hi @Manfer87 , I have always been quite an independent person and look after myself. Sometimes life throws things at you and I am one of those that just get's on with it. I do have a moan about BG's and my daughter, 19, listens but has never been negative, the only time she gets bossy about diabetes is if I am having a low hypo and she will take charge.
We look after each other, but don't step over the line, my other two children, who don't live at home, don't interfere or hassle me about diabetes.
 

Hey @KK123
I know you're right. I know he loves me & that is all that matters I guess.
I get frustrated very easily & until yesterday (until I joined this forum) I felt like I literally had nobody I could talk to regarding any aspect of my diabetes.
x
 

Hi @Robinredbreast
That's great that your daughter is there & able to listen when needed.
And it's great you both have that mutual respect & won't cross a line with each other.
 
I’d like to respond from the perspective of the partner / carer. I’m not diabetic, but by ****** am I up to speed! Married for 47 years to a T1, diagnosed at 19 years old, 5 years before we married. Simple, I thought at the time of tieing the knot, just take the meds, and everything will be OK, and life will be normal!! Besides... “I innocently thought”, there will be a cure for diabetes soon! Oh how wrong. If only I’d known!

Unfortunately, my T1 husband does not accept any help with his condition, especially when I can see that blood sugars are going **** up, (deal with it now and everything will be back to normal soon), but “no, keep out I’ll deal with it”, so he leaves it and leaves it, becoming ever more bizarre , until he goes down, and then I can deal with it when it becomes an emergency. Glucagon pens at the ready! (Which can’t be administered till he’s down and out otherwise he fights me off.)
This is not good for a relationship !! It’s OK indoors, but a real problem when in public.

Anyone with me here??

Post edited by mod for expletives.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I think all family and friends do care about you but most are out of their depth when it comes to day to day traumas of living with Type 1. My wife of over 4 decades has been absolutely amazing. She has kept abreast of all the latest info and developments about diabetes - be it insulin, diet, hypers, hypos, complications, DAFNE, carb counting, testing or the latest Libre system. She goes to great trouble of researching and experimenting with low carb recipes and comes up with some brilliant outcomes. To put it in a nutshell I honestly believe I wouldn’t be here today without her. Always caring and understanding, she is my best friend, my soulmate, my rock and my reason to be here.
 

Gosh Patc, I feel for you there. It sounds like some element of deliberate self harming. He obviously knows full well what will happen and yet refuses to intervene in such a simple matter of taking a glucose tablet or whatever. Or, I wonder whether it suddenly goes low making it impossible for him to realise and act accordingly? Would you mind telling us what his normal regime and management is like? x
 

Hi @patc47

I'm sorry to hear you both have to go through that. It doesn't sound very nice at all. x
 
Hello Manfer, how right you are, I manage my own, but my wife does not seem to grasp how difficult it can be. I despair at times if I am not shopping with her, as she will come back loaded with bread, biscuits and chocolate, none of which she eats much of but she knows how much I love. It only takes a second to be weak!
 
hi Sam,
I use book from Diabetic department at my hospital that is was issued with a meter I don't now use. It is very good as it shows pictures of food in various quantities, over time you get to recognise how many calories etc just by looking. Sadly when feeling under the weather etc( have various other serious illnesses) I lose the ability and have to check . I strongly feel hoe cooked is best I batch cook. My family don't eat much of the food I choose for myself s I am mostly vegetarian now but I do cook for them as well.
I do buy some ready made foods and have to check the labels as you say.
diabetes , being a life long condition does get boring to friends and family and it is difficult for us to accept they cant remember basics of how we try and get control but.. that's life.
Good luck and keep your spirits up you seem to be doing OK.
Christine
 
I don't buy any kind of sweet stuff myself too busy checking the carbs in stuff keeping things low in carbs helps, if I do buy chocolate it is the high percentage 95%
Coca stuff as this is real chocolate not the stuff thats full of sugar
 
Hi Sam people who don't have diabetes rarely understand what it like to have it that's why is great to air your views here with other people who do.
 

Hey @garyc2
Oh yes I know what you mean there, I am not great at resisting biscuits either!!
 
I had similar issues myself in the past. Even now there is some kind of presumption that if you look ok you're doing well. Like juicy said. The swan on the water analogy.

I find that my people understand to some extent but the truth is they will never fully understand but that's ok. I tell my husband and the kids I need to test and take time to inject so I won't be in trouble. They understand, although it's hard to live with people who aren't diabetic because you're out numbered! Especially when it comes to food choices and places to eat! Thank God the nutrition is available online nowadays.

After being type 1 for 18 years I wouldn't say the demons don't rear their head now and then. It was hard being preggo that's for sure, and it's hard to maintain balance like life and work. We're all here, living and breathing as best as we can. My main thing at the moment is to not beat myself up and to take each day as it comes. Easier said than done. Its funny though I don't think my husband and kids etc take my disease too seriously, but they love me and I love them. It's all a balancing act.

Get the bf involved and share victories and losses. I get the kids to look at my numbers and to tell me if I'm high or low. I let them watch me change my needles and insulin viles. They're very curious, they all have a morbid fascination looking at me inject I find it really funny. Even though they watch me and I do all the necessary things to help myself they (thankfully) won't know what it's like.

Diabetes hasn't put a stop to anything, but it sure as hell has been difficult and time consuming and awkward (appointments etc. ) . Take care of you first! I currently lacked in my management recently and I'm taking the pressure off myself and sorting it out. I'm feeling so much better for it too. This forum has been so helpful and supportive!
 
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