T1 Males unlucky in love.

[TonyTruthful]

Ok here goes, T1 for 6 months. Are us T1 males doomed when it comes to getting into a meaningful relationship? If we like a girl a lot and tell them we have diabetes, then if she has an ounce of sense she would find out that there is good chance of complications, which need to be considered, and for us males ED is one that we will indefinitely happen.

So from a woman’s point of view - they should stay clear. Even if they like that person. Why would they put themselves in a position / relationship that s going to be strenuous with lows / highs etc and there is good chance their sex life will dry up in the later years.

If your daughter were dating a T1 male, would you not be realistic with her?

From a males point of view – why would / should we generate feelings for someone who we really liked, when there is a very good chance that we are going to have these feelings destroyed when they realise its IS going to be a troublesome future. Set ousleves up to be let down sort of thing.

To constantly have these emotions crushed is nearly as bad as the realisation that us T1 males will struggle to gain a partner willing to give it ago. And if we do, was it the partner we originally wanted?or did she run a mile after you told her you had D.

Woman look for a healthy male to be there life partner, and don't accept special ppl.

 

[sugarless sue]

Funnily enough Tony ,It is called love,if you find that special person they will not care and will work with you through the problems,that's what love is!Best of luck in finding that special person.

 

[howie]

hey, i'm 22 diagnosed been diagnosed recently too, luckily already had a long term partner so she's stuck with me now lol. her mum passed away last year (which probs triggered the T1) and now i got it it's pretty upsetting to think she could end up caring for me one day and ED would only make things worse. so to avoid be a useless partner i'm gonna make as much £££ while i can! to remove the burden. (i.e try and make up for the diabetes in some other way lol)

in terms of short-term relationships i spose it don't really matter and i know some girls would defo be put straight of but not all of em' and probs not the decent ones. if she's shallow maybe you'll just have to tell her there's a cure lurking lol!

all best,
howie

 

[hanadr]

Guys, I've been married to a T1 for nearly 38 years. We've lived through it all and are still together.
It can be done. It needs ccommittment to the relationship as well as to each other.

 

[Giraffe]

Ah, c'mon TT, don't be a sap, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Of course girls are going to want you, you won't get ED for years and years if you control properly.

if someone doesn't want to be with you because of your diabetes, they aren't worth it anyway.

For short term partners it doesn't matter at all, you don't even need to tell them unless you start going hypo in the middle of a wild bonking session (which happens quite a bit - be aware of this!) and they think you're suddenly going off them!

Of course in an ideal world everyone wants their partner to be healthy, but T1 isn't a death sentence. Attitude is everything.

btw Howie do you really think your gf's mum dying triggered your diabetes? Through stress or what?

 

[howie]

lol, good post giraffe.

 

[Celtic.Piskie]

and there is good chance their sex life will dry up in the later years.

Only if you let it.
ED can be easily treated in many ways, complications are never certain, and severe ones are a lot less likely if you keep yourself in check.

good chance that we are going to have these feelings destroyed when they realise its IS going to be a troublesome future. Set ousleves up to be let down sort of thing.

Because every future and relationship is troublesome.
EVERY single relationship ever has had disagreements, problems, and anyone that thinks they're always going to have a perfect marriage is a woman so delusional you'd be best off away from anyway!

You never know what the future holds, no-one ever does. Any woman that discards a relationship because what might possibly happen is someone that frankly, you shouldn't have anyway, as it's a rather futile and depressing viewpoint.

Love is never easy, life is never easy, but to always reject love because it might hurt, that's just a lifetime of pain right there.

If my daughter was dating a T1, why would i care?
Love is love.

 

[acron^]

One night with me and the girl will be good for life 8)

 

[sugarless sue]

Just remember this is a family site!!!!Keep the comments clean or else use pm function!

 

[chocoholic]

My youngest son's partner has Crohn's disease. It matters not a jot to him or us, as parents. We've had so many health issues in my family, anyone who joins it WITHOUT some medical condition would be the odd one out!!!!! :lol: To us, having health issues is 'the norm' and I guess, makes us more understanding of others with health issues.
I'm sure when you meet the right girl, she'll care only for you and your well-being. It won't be an issue.

 

[bmtest]

Forget the Diabetes thing first off they do not need to know in the early stages.

Hardly anybody knows too much about Diabetes especially about complications, if somebody asked me if I wanted to exchange places with a none Diabetic I would refuse diabetes is part of me and you have to be a role model for the young diabetics out there.

I remember telling my wife when I fist met her I was 21, I was really 27 she was 18 how dare I tell here I was a diabetic and also had been off work for 6 months with a slipped disc. I could not sit or stand for long due to the back pain and nerve damage that for s short time affected my bladder control and my right leg was always frozen.

So in summary if you want to date someone it's he who dares wins think of all these drug addicts shooting up they are never short on girlfriends and they have little to offer.

 

[howie]

lmao, briliant last 2 lines. and also true

 

[kegstore]

Well I've never had any complaints, currently being chased by an ex- and stalked by a soon-to-be ex-, so you could say I'm fighting them off with a stick but that's pesky men for you! Love is everything, diabetes matters not one bit, even for a lifer like me.

 

[Jen&Khaleb]

Hey there,

I've got a nearly 3 year old son with Down syndrome and Type 1 diabetes who's father left me when he was 10 weeks old. I've even had a comment saying that "If I could find somebody to put up with that I'd be doing well". Maybe it is true as I've certainly been single all this time. I suppose I don't even have the time or opportunity to look for someone who might not think it is a problem.

All the diabetic adults I know are married or in relationships so it couldn't be too hard. I've just started getting someone to care for my son 2 hours per week and her husband is T1. She's had to call an ambulance a few times and use the hypo kit while he's on the kitchen floor. She'd like to write a book about being the partner of a diabetic.

Anyway, I wouldn't suggest telling someone on the first date that your going to be an invalid and list all the possible problems. You might not even get them and you could end up being the one looking after the other half with some other problem. Age gets us all.

Live well, Jen.

 

[lionrampant]

Diabetes doesn't prevent you from having a meaningful relationship. Unless you're ugly, in which case let's just say it's the diabetes. It does make make being kinky with fruit problematic though...

P.S. As a great robot once said: I'm back baby! 8)

 

[TonyTruthful]

I guess am just feeling sorry for myself. I just hate the idea that we can get binned off because of Diabetes because it is a disease. I imagine this must happen. Has any other T1s felt that they had this problem?

Tony

 

[howie]

yeah i gotta admit i don't feel like the 'tough guy' or 'capable provider' that i thought i was to my partner, i've always been proud of being a 'big strong healthy boy' lol, feel like that's been taken away from me cos i know now i'll be one of them people in and out of the docs and hospital for the rest of my life and that i gotta rely on medicine etc. to keep me going. + it'd be a bit of a disadvantage hypoing if i ever got into a pub brawl lol!

hopefully this is just how you feel when you're new to all this or i will get binned off! i think if it affects your confidence then it will impact the way people think of you, but you could be one of them people where other people say ''what?! they don't act like they got diabetes, i wouldn't of even know''

all best,
howie

 

[Celtic.Piskie]

I just hate the idea that we can get binned off because of Diabetes because it is a disease. I imagine this must happen.

I hate the thought of spendiong my life with someone who was that shallow terrifying.

Seriously. When you think about it, it's not that big of a deal.
On a day to day basis, my husband doesn't notice a thing. I have injections, which i deal with myself.
Later on, he knows there might be complications, but there might for anyone as you get older.

If you get binned off because of that, then really, be glad you found out sooner.
Someone that forgoes a friendship/relationship because of a condition that someone has, honestly, how many people have perfect health?

You're not feeling sorry for yourself. Diabetes sucks. It's a pain in the ass, and we all wish we could be rid of it.
But, at the moment, we can't. So, ignore the peole who can't deal with it. That's their problem, and they're not worth the time.
I've never been binned for having diabetes, although i have been binned for some worse reasons.
Apparently i was 'too much' for one bloke. I met him in a mosh pit, what did he expect!?

 

[leggott]

Hi there,

I've been married to my husband for over 8 years now and he is a type 1 diabetic. I also have 3 children 2 of which were diagnosed at an early age. I love all of them to bits and have no regrets about marrying my husband at all. He is now 38 and has been diabetic for 24 years. He is very fit and takes care of himself, he has a pressurised job and can still make time for his children. Diabetes hasn't stopped him from doing anything and I'm so proud of him. Yes, at times it can be hard but that's life. When he told me he was diabetic it didn't bother me one bit. It would of bothered me much more if he had been a smoker or taken drugs.

When you meet that special person it won't matter to either of you. If you take care of yourself, there is no reason why you should not live a long and happy life.

All the best.
Leggott

 

[Robanny]

Hey there!
I have to say that I do understand where you're coming from, but you don't seem to have any faith in love, attraction and the decency of people. I'm a female, type 1 diabetic and I'm 19. Personally, if I wasn't a diabetic and found myself attracted to a male with diabetes, I would definately not let it stand in the way. The possible ED complications in the future wouldn't bother me either, to be honest, because 1) sex isn't everthing, and 2) there are different treatments, etc to help with it (pumps, pills, etc). Also, a relationship you see potential in is definately worth working at, through anything! I hope you find other women with the same attitude as me.. I'm sure you will! I know that may not bring you much comfort, seeing as I'm a diabetic female.. but I'm still a female, and can tell you what my opinin of dating a diabetic male would be! Haha

The partner dealing with lows and highs thing I really can relate to though. I was diagnosed in 2000 at the age of ten, and I've had 2 serious relationships where they haven't batted an eyelid about me having diabetes, or looking after me (though my first serious relationship, at the age of 17, was not as supportive, but still tried). My boyfriend Dan is very, very supportive of me and my diabetes. I have to admit that at times when I've been hypo (too hypo to realise what I'm doing) and agressive with those around me (apart from him though, funnily enough, though he's witnessed it) I've expressed my worry to him, scared of him leaving me, deciding the diabetes was too much to handle, too much of a burden to put up with just to be with me. He brushed my words aside, and made me feel completely silly for worrying in the first place! ("This is just a text to say, I love you I really do Robyn. You are everything to me and your diabetes wont stop me loving you."). He's very keen to learn how to help me, learn about diabetes facts, etc, so he's in the know. Sorry this has turned into a little bit of a rant, but I just thought you might like to know that diabetes doesn't have to hold you back when it comes to relationships, because people are more understanding than you give them credit for

My advice to you regarding finding somebody would be to tell them you have diabetes straight away - at the first date/whatever. Because then you can put it in their hands whether they want to advance with the relationship or call it a day (though if they called it a day they're a muppet!).

I wish you all the luck in the world (Yes, all of it) in finding that special somebody

Robyn
xxx