T2 and won't live long

[nilemthakrar]

Hi all

My daughter has T2 diagnosed 4 yrs ago at the age of 14. She is insulin dependent and now feels she will not long being T2 diabetic. She feels in next 10 years her limbs will be amputated and she will be in wheelchair by the age of 30.
She is going through this really funny mood swings, and I feel I am loosing my daughter.
She is on Novorapid and Lantus.

Please help.

 

[ZACNEMMA]

Hi
Sounds like a difficult time for both of you. I do not know an awful lot about type 2-someone will be along soon who is knowledgeable.
I do though know alot about being a parent, therefore love and hugs.
Emma

 

[the_anticarb]

Hi sorry to hear about that. Please can you tell your daughter I was diagnosed at similar age and I am still here have all my limbs and eyes, and have a baby on the way. She very likely won't suffer any complications if she looks after herself and being diagnosed now, rather than 20 years ago (as I was) she will get a much better quality of advice as diabetes is generally much better understood these days.
Good luck

 

[dragongirl]

It is normal for teens to have mood swings as they work out who they are and how they're going to live their lives. Also they think about death a lot. Having diabetes on top of that is clearly going to bring extra worries. As the_anticarb says, do reassure her that she can take charge and probably ensure these awful things don't happen. (No one can totally ensure nothing bad happens of course.) She may have read that horrible article recently about someone losing their limbs and people may have commented to her? Or she may be a little depressed. Watch out for the signs, if you think that may be the case, and ask her if she wants help. But as I say, mood swings are common and she has reason to swing at the moment. I hope you can hang in there with her and sort it out. Parenting was never easy, especially of 18 year olds.
DG

 

[clearviews]

Hi
Your plea has been disturbing me a lot and I wondered whether I had anything that might help. All I have is based on me and how I felt when diagnosed and think that even though there is a big age difference attitudes are not age exclusive.
I was angry, very angry. Angry with me for allowing this to happen to me. Angry with the medical profession for not putting together all the warning signs years earlier.
I wanted to prove 'them' wrong and show them I would make it go away! I want every bit of time I have left in this world because there is more I want to do and see.
My obsession then was the catlyst to read every piece of info I could find that would give me a fantastic outcome and I began to read of people who were achieving great outcomes. I want to be around long enough to make sure that the lessons I have learned get across to my children so that non of them end up with T2.
Tell your daughter that there are people (like me) who was on 4 medications and by changing things no longer need any of them.
Invite her to get angry and fight for her health. She can have good health and live long.
My love to you both
Alison

 

[Patch]

I was diagnosed quite young (for a T2 anyway - 19). I can completely sympathise with your daughter. I have tried to resist insulin therapy (purely because of the weight gain associated with it), and have found that a lo-carb diet helps with keeping the medication down.

If your daughter has any questions, feel free to PM me. This must be really hard for her...

Give us an idea of what she eats, how much and how regular, and how much insulin she takes with her food.

 

[nilemthakrar]

Thank you all so much for replying. It really helps me as a parent as my daughter won't join the forum.
Alison

you are right she is very angry in herself, and lot of people in family do not understand how difficulat it is for her. Instead of helping they keep blaming me and her for allowing her to drink lot of sweet drinks when she was little. It also makes me feel. maybe I am partly to be blamed for her condition. I feel medical porfessional are not very supportive at my end, and she seems to be giving up each day instead of accepting it.
I am so scared of what might happen.
I recently sent her to one of this Diabetes fun week where she was with around 30 young adults with diabetes, and when she came back, she seemed positive and felt she was not the only one with the condition. Then one of the family friends who is also T2 and 31 years of age had to have his right leg amputated. Since then she has been so low and scared, and seeing herself in this situation. The others who were with her at the fun week were all T1.
Patch

She has Weetabix or Rice Krispies for breakfat.
Lunch, she will sometimes take sandwich filled with chicken slice or ham salad or has a jacket potato with cheese and beans.
Dinner I make vegetarian curry (using only 1tbsp olive oil) and chappati without butter which she will have a couple.Not everyday though. Maybe 2 - 3 times a week. Other days I will make boiled vegetables or pasta bake using lots of vegetables or some other healty dishes.
I am a vegetarian and would not know how to cook healthy meat dishes, even though she only likes chicken mainly. She has become like a couch potato and won't even comew with me for a walk or do any other kind of exercise.
She has Novorapid depending on what she has eaten for breakfast, lunch and Dinner (approx 10, 14, 16 and Lantus at night 32 units.

I just don't know how to help her.

 

[jane22]

Hi there I don't know what to say to you really as it must be so hard seeing your daughter go through this. There is a lot of information on this forum about diet and it has helped me so much. I came to realise that I had to do something about my high carb intake. I personally couldn't eat the amount of carbs your daughter has but I don't use insulin.

 

[nilemthakrar]

Hi Jane22
You are right. It is very hard for a parent to see their child suffer. She doesn't just have the diabetes, she also has a constant tremour in her right hand which started 2 years ago after she banked her hand on a door. When she takes the insulin with the trmour, she gets lots of bruises too. I have asked for her to go on the pump with the difficulty she has, but because she is a T2, it is not recommended.
As for the carbs she is eating, I just don't know how to stop her. Even though she is on the insulin, I know she should not be eating all those carbs. Like I said earlier, she just seems to have given up, and as her mother, I can't bear to watch her suffer this way.
Thanks for the support.

 

[jane22]

I'm just wondering if she has a weight problem too. I'm so very much older but also T2 and tried to ignore it for a few years. I was out of control and eating loads of carbs because I was always hungry, anyway to cut a long story short they put me on Byetta and now I just can't eat the carbs any more and I feel so much better. It involves 2 little jabs a day before breakfast and dinner, just a 5mm needle that even a big woos like me can manage. Of course it doesn't work for all but you might be interested in finding out about it. I do feel so very sorry for her as she should be looking forward to an exciting life and not being weighed down by all of this.

 

[nilemthakrar]

Yes she does have weight problem, even more so now that she soen't keep very active. I have spoken to her diabetic consultant's about the Byetta, but they refused to put her on it. They are saying she is too young and dont want to put her on byetta as it has not been in the market long enough to know what the long term side effects it may have. They also said after a while she will become resistent to it and it will stop working.
Saying that my duaghters first cousin who is also T2 was on byetta. I bumped into him couple of weeks ago and asked him how he was getting on. He told me he was no longer on byetta. He became resistant to it, so it had to be stopped and now he is on insulin.

 

[matthewjrose]

Hi
Sorry perhaps I have misunderstood, you say type 2 but 'She is insulin dependent'!!

Is that not type one?

If i'm right..... Type one. I remember being told by the 'nurse' I would be blind by the time I was twenty if I didn't control my condition.

34 years later and thankfully I can still see, and breath.

 

[Patch]

I could cry for your daughter - she sounds a lot like me when I was in my early 20's (girls are more mature than boys, so that works out about right! :wink: ). I've assumed (rightly or wrongly) from looking at the food she's eating, that she does have a weight problem It goes hand in hand with T2. The jury is still out on whether being overweight makes you more prone to developing T2, or if undiagnosed T2 leads to becoming overweight...

I completely understand her going into a bit of a slump and becoming a bit of a couch potato. High BG just makes you feel run down - you lose all of your get-up-and-go. She'll get her energy back if she can reduce her BG levels.

I'm sure you've picked it up by now, but she should really cut some of those carbs. Lo-carb T2's that are being treated with insulin often find that they can reduce their doses of insulin. This should only be done after thorough testing of her BG levels after different types of food. BE advised that your daughter should become an expert in her own treatment. One day she WILL know more than her GP about controlling HER diabetes.

The bottom line is this. Measure her blood before eating. Measure 1 hr after to see if the food she has eaten has had a big effect on her BG, and then measure after 2 hrs to check if her BG is falling back down.

Using this method, you can find out what foods have the biggest impact on her BG (I can tell you now, it'll be these foods: Chapatis, breakfast cereal (Rice Krispies are TERRIBLE), bread, pasta, potato, baked beans, rice, etc...)

Cutting out these foods, and replacing them with non-starchy vegetables, meat, cheese, berries, cream, eggs, fish, nuts/seeds (the list goes on! If you fancy a bit of reading try Bernstein or Atkins) she CAN lower her BG. When her BG starts to go down, she'll experience a wonderful side effect - the weight will start FALLING off of her.

What you do need to be aware of (and your doctor can advise you on this) is insulin requirements will go down when your carbohydrate intake goes down. Her doses at the moment will be based on the amount of carbohydrate she is eating at each meal. You need to beware of hypos when you are an insulin treated T2. It is not entirely unthinkable to believe that your daughter MAY be able to come off insulin and have her treatment changed to oral medication. Losing weight reduces your resistance to insulin. Your Dr. can advise you on this.

I hope this is not too daunting for you to take in - I know it's a lot. I had to learn everything the hard way, and I hope your daughter doesn't have to go down that long road.

I've got my fingers crossed for your daughter. I really hope it all works out.

 

[Angeldust]

I think the best thing for this is to have people that have been in her position speak with her. If that is at all possible? I think it's the main thing that helped me.
Sorry and good luck.

 

[anniep]

Hi

Commiserations on your problem, it is so hard when you are trying to do things for you children and they won't/can't help. My daughter has epilepsy and was in denial for a long time and even getting her to take her tablets was an issue, so I understand how hard you are finding this.

As many have said the amount of carbs your daughter is eating would be way too much for me. You said that you can't get her to stop eating the carbs - what would happen if you just didn't have them in the house?

This may sound daft to you but since I stoppeed eating two rounds of toast for breakfast and started eating a cooked one instead and not eating pasta my BG has come way down and so has my weight. I have also found that I am not nearly so hungry without the carbs, I used to find that 3 hours or so after food I would be starving again, but not any more.

I do not worry about the amount of fat that I eat, but only about the type, I only use olive oil. LIke you I am vegetarian, which can make low carbing more difficult but if your daughter eats chicken she can fill up on that and it is very low carb and for a meat, if its without skin, low fat.

This is what I eat in a typical day -
breakfast- Quorn 'bacon' and eggs with lots of mushrooms or a cheese omelette all fried in olive oil. Occaionally the plain quorn sausages (some of the different flavoured ones have higher carbs in)

Lunch - maybe quorn ham slices which I use instead of bread and make a cheese sandwich with or use them to eat houmus with. Or I oftern make a soup with whatever is going and instead ofa roll I sprinkle some cheese into it to make it more substantial

I will have curry ior chilli for tea but without the rice or bread I just eat more of it. I do vegetable stir fries with quorn 'chicken pieces' but not rice. These can be flavoured in all sorts of ways to make variety and if your daughter eats meat there is more scope for change and variety for her.

I eat lots of huge salads with all sorts in to make then more filling, and I use dressing or mayo to make them more interesting, but watch the amount of sugar in the dressings particulalry in the low fat ones.

I have found that pulses suit me quite well and that I can eat some potatoes but I can't touch bread and pasta - I found this by testing after everything. I know that maybe more difficutl if yrou daughter is nto cooperating. Maybe you can try changing her diet slowly so that she doesn't realise? Stealth may work more that head on change?

Good luck with all of this for you just keep plugging away your daughter is lucky to have you to worry about her.

Annie

 

[sugar2]

Hi, I have been T1 since I was 4...and yes, had a big slump in my teens. There is lots of great ideas about how she improve her diabetes control, but it sounds to me is that what is needed is for her to take responsibilty.

I am no agony aunt, so all I can sya is what worked for me, and that was having something to live for. there are plenty of examples of diabetics, (steve Redgrave etc) who live life to the full. For me, it was getting martried and getting pregnant. There was no way I was going to give up without a fight.

I do not know what your daugther wants from her life...boyfriends? a particular career...lose weight, travel the world I can almost guarantee that there will be a diabetic somehwere already doing it.

Another important thing to stress, is that although things may not be so good at the moment, ther eis no reason why she can not turn things around. I was dreadful for a few years, but managed to turn things around. OK, so I have already done some damage...and I regret my stupidity every day of my life, but I am still here, have a full time job, more qualifications that is strictly necessary, 2 children etc etc...not bragging, there are some bad things too, but the point is, being diabetic has not stopped me doing any of that, but I could only do it becasue I eventually took responsibity for myself.

Your daughter needs to reach that decision for herself. It is not too late. I really feel for you, and I remember my own Mum in tears, begging me to take care...that image lives with me, and it did help...but please concentrate on teh positives, all the things she has to gain. Diabetes is cr*p...but there are many things that are worse.

 

[jane22]

I agree that your daughter is lucky to have you but there is a chance she could see you as the 'food police' my husband can be one of those and it infuriates me. I've told him that it's my diabetes and I will deal with it thank you very much! Of course I know he only wants to help but I still get mad. It was the same when my BG was always high and the last thing I wanted to do was go for a walk because I felt so exhausted.
Anyway could you get her to do an experiment? Just for a week ditch her usual breakfast and have something with more protein. I find an omelette made with 1 egg and filled with chopped onions, tomatoes, mushroom and a little cheese or cold meat really delicious and very filling. I need some carbs due to my medication and so usually have a slice of Burgen toast with it (not so many carbs in Burgen). If that works you could then work on another meal.

 

[philchap]

Hi, iv'e been type 1 since 1967, iwas 7years old and did'nt worry about it untill my late teens, i thought at that time i be lucky to live past 30 something but i am still here at 50 and in good health, i work as a plasterer and exercise often, about 12 years ago i had a few eye problems but i have overcome them by facing up to the challenge that diabetes brings,when i was younger i tended to keep it to myself and not many people knew, now im quite proud of how i manage diabetes and i feel more positive with all the breakthroughs going on, as long as she takes care off herself a long life awaits. All the best Phil

 

[hanadr]

From the point of view of a mother/grandmother and retired teacher, I understand that a 14 year old is not an easy person to talk to.
It sounds like your daughter has some self-esteem issues too. Could you get her some sessions with a psychologist?
Ultimately, she needs to take control of her condition. No-one can do it for her and she will need support to get to that. It could boil down to some really tough love.
You might get help for her from the services for young people, provided by Diabetes UK. Search their website. There's plenty there
Hana

 

[nilemthakrar]

Hi all

You have all been brilliant and very supportive. I have today ordered collins low carb book to help me count the carbs of the food I make for my daughter. Being an asian and living on chappati's all her life, she is finding it hard not to eat it. I am gradually cutting down on these and introducing new things. This afternoon I made her some carrot and corriander soup for lunch and some lentil (and she did have one chappati with this) for tea. I have got lots of eggs and mushroom and fresh salads stocked up in the fridge. I am trying to get the whole family to eat similar food so she would not feel she is different. I will try not to stock on starchy food.

Thank you all for the positive advise, and will keep you updated.
You are all so brillinat and I would like to wish you all very best, because now I understand what all of you go through each day.

Annie, thank you for guiding me on what is best to eat with low carbs for each meal. It really helped
Although she is insulin depended, she is T2.
My love to all the mums out there.