Terminal and Scared

[Carbdodger]

Kman
Words seem an inadequate response. My hugs and thoughts are with you and your family. I have nothing else to offer.
Cd

 

[kman]

Andy I will reply later mate,

Wish me luck, off for my appointment at the Diabetic Clinic, I hope it's my consultant this time,

 

[sandysan]

hi kevin

that was a very touchy story bought tears to my eyes , I wish you well and keep strong focus on your beatifull wife and son , and god bless you and thankyou for giving us the insight ,

xx

 

[kman]

Andy,

So far no one has commented on your post,let me tell you it has meant an incredible amount to me, there has been much support and love here on the forum, your support has literally be brought ME to my knees, crying, lost in the moment of release,

This bit though is to all on here, as I have said many times already, PLEASE PLEASE, Don't Cry for me, don't worry, please understand, I AM dying, there is no Reprise, no mistake,

There is always HOPE, But most days I am ready to Die, and at peace with all that is happening to us as a family,

WHAT I can't come to terms with is allowing anyone else to make the mistakes that I have, For anyone else to DIE, especially if that's because I didn't get my warning message read, and understood in time,

PLEASE Don't Die, Don't let others we know DIE from the Mistakes I made,

PLEASE Look after yourselves, Lead. a healthier lifestyle. Be strict ( but sensible) on your diet), Excercise more,

LIVE Life to the FULL !!!

 

[WhitbyJet]

Kevin your thread must stay at the top of the forum, people must never forget that diabetes is sneaky in the extreme, you think you get away with it, no symptoms or complications for ages, then suddenly BANG it hits you.

Happened to me to a certain extent too.

Big, gentle hugs Kevin, go prove the doctors wrong, I have a feeling you can do this x

 

[catza]

Kevin your post has reinforced my resolve to grow old disgracefully.

I will not fail, you have convince me that I have to fight this dang disease with every ounce of strength I have for every single minute of my life.

I am certain I can say that you have convinced many of us to be more vigilant. To take control of our Diabetes and not let it get the upper hand through our complacency.

Jo Catza

 

[kman]

That's Great Jo, I'm already Disgraceful So I can die with a clean conscience LOL. !

 

[carraway]

Hi Kevin


How did you get on at the clinic?



Cara

 

[Pez68]

Hi Kman, I've just come out of hospital and just catching up on things, I like other people just don't know what to say, you gave a frank and honest description of your life and I thank you for this, whilst in pain and feeling like jacking this diabetes in you have given me the resolve to keep fighting this creepy, sneaky horrid condition. I wish you and your family good luck.

Andy


Sent from the Diabetes Forum App

 

[Carbdodger]

I'm bumping this up as this is something that puts the small stuff into perspective. Let's not kid ourselves that diabetes is anything other than a serious matter. A killer, a taker of life, a life changer. Listen to this story and as the guy says save yourself. Thanks to this guy others may be spared.
Cd

 

[HpprKM]

You are a brave and thoughtful soul - I pray you find some relief at your time of need - this is a wake up call to others - inc me. May all the kind words of support others be of some comfort you - scream all you want - people hear will listen and they do care. Thanks for such altruism at such a difficult time. YOU are tops!

 

[Esther1411]

Hi Kevin,
I have just read all these posts and want to add my love and support for you and your loved ones. I sense that your posts are motivated by a desire to inspire us all to look after ourselves and that alone makes you a TOP BLOKE, so I hope that you can accept that people on here will want to offer any support that we can without judgement of why you may have got where you are.
I was also moved by Andy's post, I've never heard it before and love the strength it offers. You have probably heard of the Serenity Prayer but I for one never get tired of its meaning. (I'm not one for prayers but if I was you and yours would definately be in them!). I went through a very difficult time 26 years ago and had to constantly remind myself of the words of the first bit of the prayer - still do sometimes. Little things sometimes help a little bit.
You made me smile when you put 'lol' in your post because I really hope you did and can try to find a little something to make you smile every now and then - give yourself a break Kevin you definately deserve it.
Much love
Esther x

 

[kman]

ESTHER,

Be Happy and Smile a LOT today, because I did LOL in my posts when I put it,

Your right, Andy's post was very powerful and relevant, but most of all it was heartening, an encouragement in troubled times, as we're those of many others,


I Thank all on here for the sincerity of their Love and.Support, But again, we do need support, but not as much as I need to stop even one of you out there from traveling My road, and dying without need, without thought, Don't think it won't be you. .... It might, It was ME, and I do not want to DIE !

Warmest Regards

HUGS.

 

[kman]

Podiatrist Appointment this after noon, working on my latest post,hopefully will get it done late afternoon,

Stay Well.

 

[popsy]

It's 2.20 am here in NZ. Why am I up in the middle of the night? Because I have appalling reflux, all my own fault, over-ate myself, said just this once it won't matter. Came on here and read this post.
What can I say? You are here, right now talking to me Kevin and because of you I swear I will never be so careless with my health or my life again.

Thank you my friend.

Kay
Sent from the Diabetes Forum App

 

[Lezzles]

Hi Kevin,

Your post had me in tears, I am so sorry to hear what you are facing and my heart goes out to you and your family.

I can promise you now that you have changed one persons thinking and that's mine. i've spent the last 10 years rebelling against this disease, moaning about the injustice of it all and generally living like I dont have it.
It's time for me to wise up. I am still healthy (ish), im only 29 years old and I have plenty of things ahead of me. I dont have a husband or a family, but im slowly denying myself the chance to have these things.
Thank you for telling your story and thank you for opening my eyes to my stupidity. I can live with this condition and im lucky im still able to do so but if i dont make changes soon then I could be the next person to be a victim.

Take Care Kevin.
I will keep your story with me for a long time to come.

Lesli xx

 

[kman]

Have you ever been forgiven, for something your guilty of, have you ever received more love than you knew existed ?

I had taken almost a week to tell Wendie I was not going to survive,

DYING isn't easy, but if you think the dying suffer, try being a loved one, they Really suffer,


When I arrived at the Local A & E Dept, There were 2 Doctors waiting outside the doors for me,

I Was taken virtually straight into ITU and over 5 or. 6. Days enduring being resuscitated twice, and constantly hallucinating that the Staff of Casualty are trying to kill you, NO not the casualty here, the TV show, older episodes not current cast, See I told you I was stupid,It would be the Holby cast, not the Casualty LOL,

Seriously though, It was really rough time, But unknown to me my dear wife spent 6 or 7 hours alone in a waiting room, until someone came in to tell her chirping "You do realise you won't be taking him home again !!! ", and shortly afterwards Registrar came in to ask if Wendie "Would you like to make him DNR" , which of course we all know means " Do Not Recover, as it will be too expensive and too much of a drain on resources to keep you alive any longer"

She rather surprisingly said " NO " and didn't take the easy way out, and for the next month, this Wonderful Angel of a woman, put up with all my moaning groaning, she kept house, walked the Dog 4 times a day, did the washing,kept me in everything I needed, and just all the day to day chores, She also visited me once or twice a day pretty much every day for a month, and she gave up the job she loved, sorted Benefits, . ESA took over 4 month's, and at the end of it seemed to love me more than ever,

She was virtually on her knees by the time I left hospital, so cream crackered and drained of energy, I thought she'd end up in the bed I vacated, she looked very ill, and we still had a long way to go,

But before all of that, There is a month of prodding and poking, tests and scans, Physioterrorists, IT, more Scans, blood tests, Isolation and barrier nursing, 4 operations, Drs, Drs who think patients with memory problems are congenitally stupid and talk down to them, a month of being Hungry, very hungry, hungry to the point it hurts,and crying yourself to sleep, which you can't do because your just so hungry, ringing home in the middle of the night to beg for food, .

Of course, all this effects your bowels and water works, . So guess who was prescribed an enema on the morning he's due to leave Hospital, and guess what, they make you wait at least 3 hours after an enema. ... 3 more hours after a whole month, just what I needed,

Well being home was just the start, 7 different clinics, most of them weekly, . Some twice,two lasted for 5 1/2 months, Dealing with DWP, The dog leaping all over me, licking my foot ulcers and other wounds when changing dressings etc. Daily district nurses, the list goes on,

PLEASE Don't get me wrong I'm not moaning or complaining about any of it, but I really really want to make you all see what is involved and what is to come if you follow my route, and leave the change in lifestyle too long, ok if you don't change,it MIGHT not happen to you,

BUT do you really want to put a GUN to your head, and pull the trigger hoping it won't be loaded. !

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE listen, this isn't a lecture, but a more from the Heart, Don't make my mistakes, Don't Die with me,Let mine be the only WASTED LIFE,

The Sadness for me, is not MY dying, but that others might still die even after knowing what we are going through,

PLEASE PLEASE Stay Well, Take Care, Live Long,

 

[enamor]

If your story is tough to read I can't begin to imagine how tough it is to write it down to share it with others. I think it's safe to say your story will stay with many for a long time to come.

It reminded me again of the advice my dear T1 dad gave me who was also very very poorly. He said "honey, when the doctors tell you what may happen in later life if you don't take care, listen to them, later life does come".

I wish you peace and thank you xx

 

[Giverny]

Thank you so much for sharing this on the forum, Kevin. I've been following this thread since you posted it and it's obvious that you've touched and inspired so many people. Your situation is really a tragic one, but it's just so amazing that you've come here to help others avoid the same fate. You are a great man.

 

[petercooke]

Dear Kevin

I know how you feel I am getting into the same position telephone numbers of pills and pain.I am told I cannot have more meds as I an a pharacologicl disaster.

There are hundreds of diabetic's on the same path and i hope reading your story will make them take note.

kind regards

peter